Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Straight Up Trippin'

Alternate Title: "You ain't Fitty, so get some goddamned sense."

I get roleplaying.

I really do.

You want to create an alternate character in a fantasy setting that allows you the freedom to express yourself.

Who wouldn't want to do that?

But there is a difference between roleplaying and being retarded.

And, personally, I think "gangsta" talk is the line between the two.

Talking like a wannabe rapper is bad enough in the real world. The fact that some of you morons like to do it IN A FANTASY GAME creates entire new levels of pathetic.

Yes, yes. You listen to G-Unit.

I'm sure your mom bought you all of their CDs.

Oh, yeah. You're from the street.

Living on A street does not mean you are from THE street.

Your intense desire to break out your "mad skillz" does not mean you have to contaminate our fantasy setting with your constant desire to prove just how stupid you really are.

Seriously. Go hang out at the mall with the rest of your middle class, suburban "posse" and leave us the hell alone.

That's right. Flash your "gang signs" at the Dairy Queen counter help and shut the hell up.

What level of retardation (read: uber-mega-gundam-retardation) would lead you to think that talking like that somehow makes you cooler?

Wait... Hold on a sec...

Phone's ringing.

That's weird. It's for you. It's an Albino.

He says "Damn, you're white."

Now, if you really are "from da street," then that's cool. That's life.

But if you're playing a roleplaying game with a monthly fee on a computer or PS2, then I don't think you technically qualify as "keepin' it re-yawl."

There are few things I find more irritating than when someone mutilates my language.

The fact that you would not only mutilate it, but bend it to your own pathetic wannabe delusions cannot be forgiven.

This afternoon, I was enjoying a nice quiet crafting session. There were, mercifully, very few GM calls.

Everything was right with the world.

And that's when I get a call from one of these emulator, imitator e-tards.

GM Call Description: Gilsellers be stealing mining points.

That is not a typo.

That is what the call actually said.

He actually typed "be".

Now, this is what I'm talking about. I can kind of see someone saying that in real life, but taking the time to type it out on the internet?

That's just plain retarded.

[GM]Dave>> Sup, Homes.
[GM]Dave>> I gotz da 411 dat some punkz be trippin', yo.
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Hold on one second.

*gets out my english to moron dictionary*

[GM]Dave>> Dem gilsellers be thiefin' yo cheddar.
Player>> Yeh, dey stole my mining points.
Player>> I was making some phat loot, too.
[GM]Dave>> Fo realz?
Player>> (( word )) (( Up ))

Oh sweet Jack Daniels, the moron is now using autotranslated stupidity.

Someone remind me to apologize to the Japanese people.

[GM]Dave>> How dey be stealin' you points, yo?
Player>> Erytime I run around, dey camping my points.
[GM]Dave>> Punk ass, bitches.
[GM]Dave>> Be gettin' dos points fore u.
Player>> (( word ))

Okay, maybe I won't ban this guy.

Maybe I'll fly to his house and beat him to death with a dictionary.


But, since airfare costs money and bannings are free, I continue.

[GM]Dave>> I am so gonna pop a cap in his ass, yo.
Player>> Check it, yo.
Player>> Dis is how we do it.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Okay, I'm going to have to stop there.
[GM]Dave>> You're reaching dangerous levels of stupidity.
Player>> WTF u talkin' 'bout?
[GM]Dave>> Listen, Eminem, I think it's time we let it go.
[GM]Dave>> Let's use our big boy words now, k?
Player>> U trippin', bitch.
Player>> I'm from da street.
[GM]Dave>> Suuuuuuuure, you are.
[GM]Dave>> Just trying to support your baby mamas, right?
Player>> Represent.
[GM]Dave>> Represent what exactly?
Player>> ... You know.
Player>> Represent.
[GM]Dave>> You don't know what that means, do you?
Player>> Well... no.
[GM]Dave>> I thought so.
[GM]Dave>> Listen, Whitey, you're going to knock that off.
Player>> Knock what off, fool?
[GM]Dave>> This is your last warning.
Player>> Whatevah, punk.
Player>> I'm keepin' it real.

He really left me with no other option. I had to put him down for the sake of humanity.


Did I say humanity?



Player>> ... uhhh...
Player>> What are you doing?
[GM]Dave>> Dis is how we roll, yo.

Jormungand hits Player for 13,187 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> DAY-YAM!

Luckily, he now has more time to represent and what not.

Seriously, if you feel the need talk like this and you're not actually from the street, I would like you to go find the nearest street.

And then smash your head into the pavement until that feeling goes away.

Damn morons.


At 6:12 PM, Blogger Alexiel said...

Hahaha.. He so had it coming to him. Good one indeed. :D

At 6:14 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

Thank you for ridding the world of another moron Dave ^^v

At 6:41 PM, Blogger IronRaven said...

Good move, Dave. I hate people who talk like that...

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Weary Paladin said...

"gundam-retardation" LMAO..that is classic

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Inia said...

Jormungand hits Player for 13,187 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> DAY-YAM!


*breath and gulp of whisky*


At 8:11 PM, Blogger Mute said...

I must thank you again Dave. I've been having an extremely crappy day. Then I read the latest installment and I for one think this is an instant classic. Thanks for brightening my day by killing another retarded white kid that thinks it's cool to act and speak like someone he's not.

I mean seriously, when did it become cool to emulate those unfortunate enough to be born into poverty and have little to no education.

At 8:11 PM, Blogger Fayth said...

what a fucking nerd, you need to go out, see the sunlight, get a life, do something, seriously it's sad. Anyway, anyone playing this fucking game quit socializing, i'm wishing for most of you guys to eventually realize it.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Hahaha... Represent! Is that what happens when people keep giving each other a 10-year old and ageing fruitcake for christmas?

At 8:36 PM, Blogger Blah... I don't know. said...

Yes... "Gangstas" should be shot. In each testi. No more reproduction ; ;

At 9:12 PM, Blogger dickkead said...

[GM]Dave>> How dey be stealin' you points, yo?
Player>> Erytime I run around, dey camping my points.
[GM]Dave>> Punk ass, bitches.

I laughed so hard I cried a little.

At 9:29 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Fayth, seriously, how can you call him a fucking nerd, when you yourself are writing in his comments about how much of a fucking nerd he is?

What a bitchfist.

At 9:51 PM, Blogger lithpiperpilot said...


Great work, keep it up!

At 10:48 PM, Blogger Feba said...

Did you insult Gundam?

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Chronofantasy said...

That was quite funny. I hate those kind of street talk words and I dislike when people say: "My Bad"

At 12:15 AM, Blogger Shinkada said...

I hope he did insult Gundam. If he did, man, that's some serious bonus pointage from me.

Exactly as you said, Dave, people that talk like this are bad enough, but when they ruin the immersion of a game by talking like that in a fantasy setting, they've just gone too far.

You should've gone with the Deluxe Package, though.

At 12:23 AM, Blogger Keilyn said...

The fact that he tried to say supposed gillsellers were camping the mining points was bad enough. The language was worse. All hail [GM]Dave!

At 12:43 AM, Blogger Atrophic-FairyServer said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 12:58 AM, Blogger Atrophic-FairyServer said...

I dont believe that GM Dave is truly this harsh! Ive spoken with you a cpl of times, IN FACT, i recall once you laughed at me for paging and then ignoring you. Yes... Rawr sir

At 3:39 AM, Blogger Daniel of Remora said...


You fail at life.

At 4:10 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

"Maybe I'll fly to his house and beat him to death with a dictionary.


OH MY GOD! I laughed so hard i almost cried with that one, you know what i imagined when you said that.. the scene from the end of Jay and silent bob strike back where they visit the people that flamed them on a forum and beat the shit out of them LOL.

Oh and Fayth you fail at life and the internet. And to extend, i know many people that have found that the extensive social aspect of this game when you are playing, has re-ignited thier desire to socialise in real life etc..
I for one have found this to be the case, can't speak for more than the few others i know in RL that have played these games.

At 6:11 AM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

Fayth: It is quite easy to hold a social life and play any MMO. Myself and many others I know do sich a thing.

Chronofantasy: It is sometimes easier to say "My bad, My bad" than to say "Yeah... that was my fault and I sincerely apologize."

Well, no one really says the second example, but you know what I mean. Formally saying that someone was wrong or didn't do something right is extremely clunky and slow. My bad is a quick and simple way of apologizing and admitting to being in the wrong.

Thanks [GM]Dave. Keep it up!

At 6:24 AM, Blogger Dramanue of Fenrir said...

Player>> (( word )) (( Up ))

Oh sweet Jack Daniels, the moron is now using autotranslated stupidity.

Someone remind me to apologize to the Japanese people.

Need I remind you of your own greeting?

Saturday, April 15, 2006
[GM]Dave>> (( word )) (( Up )), (( Home point ))!

Either way, love your way of street justice, G-Dawg. I be down wid da crew down in my LS and we be always talking 'bout yo bustin da cap in dem bishes like da mad-hatta.

{Holy Altana, it hurt just typing that. My sincerest apologies.}

At 6:44 AM, Blogger Sebb said...

As I dont qualify for GM powers I like to spread justice in a more.....neglecting way.
This is why I like playing WHM.
If there is anyone just un peu annoying. You just don't heal them ^^ They get the point eventually ^^

I have only done that once when powerleveling. The Tank was.....that word that rhymes with tank.
A paladin who has full mp who shouts "Heal me" Needs to die.

I wish I were cool like Dave.

Oh yes Dave. Dinner at mine later. See you at 8pm sharp.

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Drew said...

I've seen this new trend come about in so many recent MMO's and it kind of makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a mechanical pencil and bleed my geek blood out on the keyboard.

Remember when MMO's were for dorks/geeks/nerds/RP'ers? When the hell did these guys come into the equation? I blame our nation's youth, listen to that drivel. Though in their defense they have that and emo, which isn't exactly a good pick either.

At 10:08 AM, Blogger Janvianoce said...

Living on A street does not mean you are from THE street.

Some Kevin Smith stuff, right ?
From the "An Evening With Kevin Smith". If it's truly yours, well, nice job kiddy.

For those who have the DVD, check out the DVD 1, Chapter 23 "SUPERMAN REBORN".

Keep up the good work ^^

At 12:03 PM, Blogger Corby said...

Hey, stop making fun of all the people that are "gangsta" or use "slang" like some people do. It may not be their fault for being like that. I was born in the ghetto and they don't actually talk like all that.

At 12:39 PM, Blogger Alerith said...

Word cannot describe...only laughter....

At 12:41 PM, Blogger Alerith said...

Id just like to take this moment to say I have been kicked out of my school library for laughing too loud.

At 1:31 PM, Blogger Inia said...

Hey, stop making fun of all the people that are "gangsta" or use "slang" like some people do. It may not be their fault for being like that. I was born in the ghetto and they don't actually talk like all that.

Middle class white kids from the suburbs, who attend or have attended well-funded and well-run school systems, want to be cool, talk like they're from the ghetto. Many people who actually live in ghettos do NOT speak like they just fell out of a rap album but speak English as well as they can given the poorly-funded and poorly-run schools systems generally associated with a ghetto.


Tell me again why I shouldn't make fun of the suburban kids?

At 5:20 PM, Blogger Fayth said...

People playing FFXI telling me i failed at life, OH THE IRONY

At 6:45 PM, Blogger Kiwi said...

"People playing FFXI telling me i failed at life, OH THE IRONY"

Dude, you are trolling a freakin' blog, chances are you are the one without a life. Go check your other posts, dummy.

Anyways, [GM]Dave, your blog is my favorite thing to read at work now. :D

Feeding people to dragons can never, ever get old, especially when they are stupid.

I wish you were a GM in WoW so you could take care of some of the retards over there. Seriously, the next time I see someone named any form of Legolas or Aragorn I'm going to throw myself to Onyxia for lunch.

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Corby said...

"Tell me again why I shouldn't make fun of the suburban kids?"

The question is, why should you? No need to make fun of anyone just because they are different.

At 4:54 AM, Blogger terii said...

XD. Reminds me of that character Vince Vaughn plays in Be Cool. Almost cried while I'm reading this one... *falls off chair*

At 8:42 AM, Blogger Celyia said...


*ducks fast*

At 8:33 AM, Blogger Shiphrah said...

The "ghetto speak" is quite annoying at times, although I can't deny using it. However, it's usually a big group effort on the part of my LS or party, we all say one or two things, and then we laugh at ourselves for being such retards. It's good when it's all for the same of fun and joking, but annoying when it's an everyday thing.

...But some of you people make me laugh. People in this game, and people in-general, get way too worked up and bitchy just because someone states their opinion. First of all, you're a moron for arguing with [GM]Dave about his opinion or complaining for him using blogspot as a creative outlet for his frustrations. Second, those of you who argue with these aforementioned morons are even bigger morons for arguing with them about their opinions.

...And the cycle continues. >.>

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Shiphrah said...

for the *sake* of fun and joking*****

At 11:34 PM, Blogger The Answer said...

you know, atleast its just text. imagine hearing a white kid trying to speak ebonics or something. or hey, getting to hear accents you're not familiar with. can you imagine the flames? sometimes i'm glad that they didn't put in mics into this game.

the phrase "my bad" has become slang more than anything. it's something that has creeped itself beyond... well, wherever it came from, i'm guessing ebonics, though it sounds more like something a white kid would say, doesn't it? however, it really is something you only say verbally. in ffxi, i think you'd end up just typing "i'm" then press tab and scroll down to "i'm sorry" for autotranslation.

there are a number of valid reasons to not accept this way of speaking, depending on who is speaking it, but I must agree with gm dave's position on this: its one thing when you speak it, its another when you type it. i know a number of black people in FFXI, and most of them don't type like that at all, they don't, no. They most certainly express their interests in things that most young male african americans are interested in, but they most certainly don't type the way that you would picture them to (though they tend to do so when someone brings up a cultural refrence, but nothing severe grammatically, its still readable).

The only people that type retardedly are the ones that others from their kind call "posers." Either that, or they are just severely exposed to that way of typing and think its cool because their friends type like that too. Its depressing, and hurts your eyes. (i'm referring to other forms of typing, like wEn U tYP lIk DiS, etc.)

Something i'd like to point out to a number of commenters here, from what i've read in a number of comments from other posts, is that when a flame war starts, or someone says something disagreeable, its really damn sad to read someone else responding "you fail in life" or make an ass out of themselves in the process through other means. Of course, there's always the saying "it takes one to know one," and i do fall into this category myself, by even making this comment. however i would like to believe that i am, for the most part, past that.

....lol, "snap, crackle, pop"

At 11:48 PM, Blogger The Answer said...

Another thing, kids that speak "gangsta" or whatever, or whatever variations out there, either speak it because they want to be cool, they feel they must aspire to whatever trash that BET belts out, or because they were raised around people that spoke like that to begin with. In other words, type 1: white/asian/not-poor, type2: black, but from ok-neighborhoods/schools, type3: people that really are from where they say they are from, have had guns fired at them or near them, and have seen people die. Here's the difference in the outcome for these 3 types: type 1 will end up mostly likely realizing that this isn't their reality, and go elsewhere to better/worse places; type 2 can potentially follow the path of type 1, but should he/she be mislead, can end up horribly in type 3's position; type 3 doesn't even have BET, or if he/she does, the media only praises this way of life and makes it seem like that will be how they will lead their life, like say, "get rich or die trying" or something as a slogan. Not only that, but the mentality is significantly different from those that live in the suburbs or are not exposed to that way of life as a reality. Type 3, however, can potentially follow type 1's path, but will still be affected by the reality of their youth.

Of course, there is much more to this than what I've said, but I hope it sheds some light on the issue.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger Solid Squid said...

See, this isn't roleplaying though. This is taking things *way* out of the context of the game and possibly breaking the RP for other people. So I guess this would be one of the rare occasions you used your power for good

Although personally I think that deserved having all his "phat loot" confiscated too

At 8:17 PM, Blogger CSM-Jack said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 12:48 AM, Blogger Erik said...

[GM]Dave>> DAY-YAM!

Oh dear lord, thank you for sending that out. That made my freaking day. Good day to you [GM]Dave, keep sending these tards to WoW so I have more ammunition when I get bored of farming!


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