Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A Small Adendum

WARNING: This is not a full sized update. I will make a new post later, as time permits.

This is a Public Service Message.

As a small addendum to the [GM]Dave's Mailbox post, I just wanted to point out one category of e-mail and message that I get on a regular basis.

Though 'regular' really doesn't seem like the word to use for this.

I am going to address all of these people in one felled swoop and hopefully stem the torrent of e-mail and comments that all focus on this one idea.

I don't want your babies.

I don't want you to have my babies.

I certainly don't want babies you already have.

Do you understand?

There will be no baby ownership transfer.

I'm sure you're a wonderful person. I'm also sure a slightly amusing blog is the perfect reason to have offspring with another human being.

Unfortunately, I cannot have babies with you for these many reasons:

1) you are far away. While [GM]Dave is impressive, even I could not bridge the gap between us.

2) I have no idea who you are. You could be mean or stupid. Or worse, ugly.

3) many of you may indeed have penises which, if my knowledge of Biology is indeed correct, would severely inhibit your ability to bear my children.

Now, this is not to say that I do not like these e-mails and comments.

I am indeed flattered by your willingness to be impregnated by a random internet person. That speaks volumes to either:

a) the quality of this blog

b) your tenuous grasp on reality

But let's just be friends.

I don't want your babies.

I don't want you to have my babies.

No babies.

No.

No babies.

33 Comments:

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

Babies don't stay crunchy in milk.

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Slint said...

Its ok, I still love you anyways.

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Knave said...

Yuo mention babies and I all can think of is "Oh god, right in the soft spot" from VGCats this week. Does this make me a horrible person?

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Inia said...

Babies don't stay crunchy in milk.

Tarus do! It's one of the reasons I love Windurst.

I don't get the whole baby-having thing. They're a lot of work, and I don't mean the kind that involves whiskey. Though it certainly increases the desire for whiskey. Babies certainly don't increase the desire for sex; if anything, they make you think those abstinence-only methods of birth control are not such a bad idea.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Babies suck. They're always crying when you're trying to play FFXI..

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

"Hi! I'm Crazy Eddie!"
*Hoopa-hoopa-THUCK!*
"I put babies on spikes!"
*Hoopa-hoopa-THUCK!*
"Would you like a rack o' baby?"
*Hoopa-hoopa-THUCK!*
"We've got babies on racks!"

Mmm... taste of chicken...

Still, my favorite sign in a pet shop was: "Any children left unattended will be caged, sold into slavery, or eaten."

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

Hahahaha! You're awesome Dave. Don't worry; I wouldn't want to imagine what kind of spawn I mean offspring you could produce.

But I am sure we all still love you just the same.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

If you ignore them long enough, they stop crying.

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger Dantaro said...

Damn, no baby transfers? Well, what am I going to do now? I can't just GIVE these things away you know.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Bugbby said...

I had to make an account just to post a comment. But...

"1) you are far away. While [GM]Dave is impressive, even I could not bridge the gap between us."

...was pure genius. Much lovin' for the Dave.

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger Fendi said...

If [GM] Dave had a baby. . .would it come out 1/2 - 1/4 dragon? Or would it come out 1/2 - 1/4 [GM]? Or both?

I am indeed perplexed by this.

Anyhow, the presence of [WANG]x2 would definately inhibit the baby having ability, as would, I assume, the WANT to have a child. Great post though.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Rogue said...

lol been away for a while so i had a lot to catch up on, and to no suprise, you are still tearing a new one to everyone i hate as well. You are the image of the modern day hero, smart, clever, and a good sence of justice. You should become a judge in real life. Maybe there would be less retards out on the streets.

As for the girlies that want dave's babies, we can just make them and say they're dave's. . . bwahahahaha. Just kidding man. . . or am I? xD

Keep it real dude, keep pimpin those dragons and slaping the tards.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger kitty monk said...

On the "serious" note, I think the "have my babies" line stems from Inu Yasha. <.> What little I've seen of the series sets that flag off in my mind.

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Caelasma said...

babies. next thing you know they'll want to meet you in real life or something. Maybe they'll ask to trade naked pictures.

 
At 6:28 PM, Blogger zerombr said...

a naked picture of Jormungand is more likely

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger lesa said...

aw, you never want to have fun anymore lol ^_^

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Butcherboy said...

Kitty monk, you seem like an excellent person to sell to. I have some fine low-level equip that is inconvenient to get to. Would you care to purchase it for three-four times its normal price?

Also, women have been clamoring to have the babies of famous men since at least the dark ages. Most people connect the phrase with young women shrieking at rock stars, such as the Beetles, the Grateful Dead or the Backstreet Boys.

And to Reeree, babies do indeed stay crunchy in milk, if you bake them first. You could also fry them, but then you would have to use cream sauce like pasta, and not milk like cereal.

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger kitty monk said...

"Kitty monk, you seem like an excellent person to sell to. I have some fine low-level equip that is inconvenient to get to. Would you care to purchase it for three-four times its normal price?"

Are you trying to say that I'm gullible? Or are you so dense in the head to think that a possible joke was serious? Do you know how to read straight? Try not being a general ass.

 
At 10:11 PM, Blogger Tobaba said...

Ok I'll settle for naming my babies [GM]Dave =D

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

"Unfortunately, I cannot have babies with you for these many reasons:

1) you are far away. While [GM]Dave is impressive, even I could not bridge the gap between us."

and

"I am indeed flattered by your willingness to be impregnated by a random internet person. That speaks volumes to either:

a) the quality of this blog

b) your tenuous grasp on reality"

BEST POST EVER!

XD

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

LOL that WAS great! I have guys on the internet and in the game ask me the same thing >.< My answer?
*No thanks I have kids already...but I will loan you mine!*
You have to wonder just how full of delusions some people really are!While it is flattering it is also a bit *unreal*

 
At 12:23 AM, Blogger Shayde said...

You can't have my baby - she's mine (well - I share her with my husband). I won't have another baby with/for you, [GM]Dave. However, I may name my next pet after you.

Now... to figure out how to feed people at work, or those deserving souls in the general public, to dragons. I'm definitely going to have to work on that...

 
At 1:19 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

OMG that made me laugh so much my sides hurt..

Just to clarify... "Baby's in milk.." yes they can stay crunchy but they have to be taru's coated in brown sugar and lightly toasted over an open fire, then you get that long term crunchyness :)

"VGcats" lol i know what you mean thom, that popped into my head as soon as i read the post lol.

"..taste like chicken" thats a myth they actually taste like spare ribs depending on the a marinade you use on them first.. RAWR!!

"The geneology of [GM]Dave's children..." Well as i don't know what his partner is going to be/is i can only surmise 50% of his offspring, although as we know [GM]Dave overrules all so his baby may well be a clone as his gene's will overpower all! Hence his child will be 1/4 dragon, and 75% proof!

::All Hail {mega boss}[GM]Dave!::

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

No babies eh?

Well, I can offer a teenage son if that's more appealing?

We can be together! Just think, romantic evenings feeding random gilsellers to Jormy. Maybe torment the odd tard and then retire to relax around a flaming pyre of whiners.

Yes, we could be good together. I have wicked tendancies that could make your toes curl.

 
At 1:37 AM, Blogger Sebb said...

..........Can I have your.......Ladies?

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger Hutea said...

No babies for you. >.> How about cookies instead?

 
At 5:52 AM, Blogger Kage said...

No babies? What am I going to sacrifice to my heathen deity?

 
At 7:02 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

I like Sebb's idea. I don't want babies with anyone (sorry [GM]Dave) but I'd happily have your ladies~!

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger Espii said...

;_; My dream is ruined... Weeks of hard work to prepare my body to bare the children of a God, and all for nothing! I hate you Dave! I hate you!!!!!! I'll never look at this blog again! -Checks back the next day.-

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Butcherboy said...

Personally, I prefer my jokes to have "humor" and "relevance" but what do I know, I am no more than a foolish mule. Not an ass, a mule. And I most certainly am not a bee sympathizer.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

Uh oh! Butcherboy engaged Tard Agro!

Run Away!

Save yourselves!

 
At 2:26 PM, Blogger Artos said...

Would you like a puppy instead?

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Wallsy said...

It's "one fell swoop".

Fell
–adjective
1. fierce; cruel; dreadful; savage.
2. destructive; deadly: fell poison; fell disease.
—Idiom
3. at or in one fell swoop.

 

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