A Small Adendum
WARNING: This is not a full sized update. I will make a new post later, as time permits.This is a Public Service Message.
As a small addendum to the [GM]Dave's Mailbox post, I just wanted to point out one category of e-mail and message that I get on a regular basis.
Though 'regular' really doesn't seem like the word to use for this.
I am going to address all of these people in one felled swoop and hopefully stem the torrent of e-mail and comments that all focus on this one idea.
I don't want your babies.
I don't want you to have my babies.
I certainly don't want babies you already have.
Do you understand?
There will be no baby ownership transfer.
I'm sure you're a wonderful person. I'm also sure a slightly amusing blog is the perfect reason to have offspring with another human being.
Unfortunately, I cannot have babies with you for these many reasons:
1) you are far away. While [GM]Dave is impressive, even I could not bridge the gap between us.
2) I have no idea who you are. You could be mean or stupid. Or worse, ugly.
3) many of you may indeed have penises which, if my knowledge of Biology is indeed correct, would severely inhibit your ability to bear my children.
Now, this is not to say that I do not like these e-mails and comments.
I am indeed flattered by your willingness to be impregnated by a random internet person. That speaks volumes to either:
a) the quality of this blog
b) your tenuous grasp on reality
But let's just be friends.
I don't want your babies.
I don't want you to have my babies.
No babies.
No.
No babies.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 10:21 AM
11 Comments:
Babies don't stay crunchy in milk.
Yuo mention babies and I all can think of is "Oh god, right in the soft spot" from VGCats this week. Does this make me a horrible person?
Hahahaha! You're awesome Dave. Don't worry; I wouldn't want to imagine what kind of spawn I mean offspring you could produce.
But I am sure we all still love you just the same.
If you ignore them long enough, they stop crying.
If [GM] Dave had a baby. . .would it come out 1/2 - 1/4 dragon? Or would it come out 1/2 - 1/4 [GM]? Or both?
I am indeed perplexed by this.
Anyhow, the presence of [WANG]x2 would definately inhibit the baby having ability, as would, I assume, the WANT to have a child. Great post though.
Kitty monk, you seem like an excellent person to sell to. I have some fine low-level equip that is inconvenient to get to. Would you care to purchase it for three-four times its normal price?
Also, women have been clamoring to have the babies of famous men since at least the dark ages. Most people connect the phrase with young women shrieking at rock stars, such as the Beetles, the Grateful Dead or the Backstreet Boys.
And to Reeree, babies do indeed stay crunchy in milk, if you bake them first. You could also fry them, but then you would have to use cream sauce like pasta, and not milk like cereal.
You can't have my baby - she's mine (well - I share her with my husband). I won't have another baby with/for you, [GM]Dave. However, I may name my next pet after you.
Now... to figure out how to feed people at work, or those deserving souls in the general public, to dragons. I'm definitely going to have to work on that...
;_; My dream is ruined... Weeks of hard work to prepare my body to bare the children of a God, and all for nothing! I hate you Dave! I hate you!!!!!! I'll never look at this blog again! -Checks back the next day.-
Personally, I prefer my jokes to have "humor" and "relevance" but what do I know, I am no more than a foolish mule. Not an ass, a mule. And I most certainly am not a bee sympathizer.
Uh oh! Butcherboy engaged Tard Agro!
Run Away!
Save yourselves!
It's "one fell swoop".
Fell
–adjective
1. fierce; cruel; dreadful; savage.
2. destructive; deadly: fell poison; fell disease.
—Idiom
3. at or in one fell swoop.
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