Friday, May 05, 2006

Back to Our Regular Program

Here we are back at the 2006 Stupid Awards.

*applause*

Today's winner exemplifies everything that a player should be.

If they're retarded.

Ten to one, there's probably one sitting in your LS right now blathering on and on and on.

And on.

You've met them. You've talked to them. You've probably read forum posts by them.

Hell, you've probably partied with them.

I'm sure you probably even hate them.

Most people do.

The 2006 Award for Stupidity goes to...

The "I know everything and I'm better than you" guy.

You know the type. No matter what conversation is going on and whether or not they were part of it, these guys always have something to say.

And by something, I mean everything.

Not only do they ramble incessantly on any topic, but they refuse to accept that their opinions or information might not be correct.

Such a thing could not happen. They know all and see all. How could they possibly be wrong?

Well, it helps that the majority of their information is gleamed from half-read, half-assed forum posts written by people who didn't know what the hell they were talking about in the first place.

That's right.

Stupidity is contagious.

And these guys are the carriers.

It might not be so bad if they could just keep their conversation between a few people.

BUT NO. One of these tards always has to fire up a GM call to try and back up his inane and incorrect blabbering.

GM Call Description: Help settle an argument.

Do I freakin' look like a marriage councillor to you?

I don't give a good damn about what you are arguing about. If it doesn't involve you and a dragon, I'm not interested.

So stop sending GM calls.

Seriously.

But, being in a foul mood already, I decided that this person needed to be made an example of.

Since I didn't have a large podium and a length of rope...

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently you do not understand simple words
[GM]Dave>> LIKE EMERGENCY!
Player>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Apparently you do not understand any words.
Player>> Yes, I do.
[GM]Dave>> Good come back.
[GM]Dave>> Ouch.
[GM]Dave>> What do you want?
Player>> I need you to settle an argument.
[GM]Dave>> Yes, you're retarded.
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?
Player>> That's not the argument.
[GM]Dave>> So we all agree that you're retarded?
Player>> I'm not retarded.
[GM]Dave>> See?
[GM]Dave>> There's an argument.
Player>> No, no, no.
Player>> We were talking about strength and attack.
[GM]Dave>> Riveting.
[GM]Dave>> I'm on the edge of my seat.
Player>> So he says strength boosts attack.
Player>> And I say 2 strength equals 1 attack.
[GM]Dave>> So you are retarded then.
[GM]Dave>> I was right the first time.
Player>> I'm not wrong. I'm right, you moron.
Player>> 2 strength equals 1 attack.
[GM]Dave>> How do you know?
Player>> I've read every forum post on strength/attack.
[GM]Dave>> Wow. Really?
[GM]Dave>> I can eat a hot dog in 4 seconds.
Player>> So?
[GM]Dave>> Oh.
[GM]Dave>> I thought we were saying pointless shit.
Player>> Why would you think that?
[GM]Dave>> You started it.
Player>> Could you just tell him that he's wrong.
[GM]Dave>> But he's not.
[GM]Dave>> You're wrong.
Player>> I'm not wrong.
[GM]Dave>> I know, but saying super retarded sounds mean.
[GM]Dave>> The fact that you're also wrong will do.
Player>> Listen.
Player>> I know every game mechanic there is in FFXI.
Player>> I practically designed this game.
[GM]Dave>> Did you design this game?
Player>> No.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded and delusional.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.
Player>> That's double.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded, delusional, and doesn't get sarcasm.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.
Player>> You're not allowed to do that!
[GM]Dave>> Do what?
Player>> Insult me.
[GM]Dave>> You're ugly.
Player>> STOP THAT!
[GM]Dave>> You told me to.
Player>> I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!
[GM]Dave>> I get that alot.
[GM]Dave>> How about we ask an impartial third party.
Player>> FINE.

*warp*

Player>> Where are we?

Jormungand hits Player for 10,274 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> He says you're wrong.

*ROAR*

[GM]Dave>> And retarded.

Seriously. I don't care about how much you think you know. I don't and neither does anyone else.

We do, however, want you to shut the hell up.

for your tireless efforts to unite the world through our shared hatred of you, I award you the 2006 Stupid Award.

Enjoy the trophy.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

As an addendum, there will be no update tomorrow. We are having a wake for poor [GM]Takana who took his own life.

Well... there is a wake.

We get the day off, so I'm staying home and crafting.

39 Comments:

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Artos said...

Player>> Where are we?

Jormungand hits Player for 10,274 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> He says you're wrong.

*ROAR*

[GM]Dave>> And retarded.





Smooth.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger Feba said...

Tanaka died!?

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

once again pure stupidity thought a lesson by our final fantasy savior GM Dave...

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Mentally_Hilarious said...

Sorry to hear about the other [GM] :(

We just booted someone outa the LS the other day for that same kinda conversation...

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

Player>> You're not allowed to do that!
[GM]Dave>> Do what?
Player>> Insult me.
[GM]Dave>> You're ugly.
Player>> STOP THAT!
[GM]Dave>> You told me to.







That was awesome.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Renarudo said...

[GM]Dave>> How about we ask an impartial third party.
Player>> FINE.

That was new, I didn't see that coming :)

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Panthro said...

Takana more than likely didn't die, he just wishes he was, like everybody else. If you read [GM]Dave's other blog, Goblin Smithy, his post for today say's his ex-wife's memorial is tomorrow so he won't be posting and he has a note to kill his ex-wife =)

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Why the hell is everyone saying "TAKANA DIED?!! OMG"

Did you not read the post where Dave said "Tak got in trouble, and later on I heard some GM in Japan went nuts and shot himself." If you didn't catch on, that was refering to Tak.

*Gives you all a trophy*

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger sevenpointflaw said...

[GM]Dave>> He says you're wrong.

*ROAR*

[GM]Dave>> And retarded.

QFT

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Wickerbasket said...

[GM]Dave>> Retarded and delusional.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.

Awesome :D

Unfortunately, I know there are plenty of people who would probably think I'm this guy. Needless to say, I haven't called a GM yet, nor plan to. However I am always right :D

Remember kids, perfect grammar on an internet game demands respect.

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger Sphene the Paladin said...

^_^ yay for more dragon kibble!

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger Shidwa said...

"Not only do they ramble incessantly on any topic, but they ,refuse to accept that their opinions or information might not be correct."

I must be the only person who sees the irony in this.

(I even bolded it for you illiterate dumb fucks)

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger weary samurai said...

Player>> I practically designed this game.
[GM]Dave>> Did you design this game?
Player>> No.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded and delusional.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.
Player>> That's double.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded, delusional, and doesn't get sarcasm.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.

i tell you right now. your coworkers must have a field day with this kind of shit. oh the stories. how i'd love to enjoy a lunch break with you guys.

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

@Wickerbasket:

You forgot to capitalize "Internet."

Thus, you kind of end up shooting yourself in the foot when bragging about "perfect" grammar online.

I suggest you learn from this infraction.

[GM]Dave > Me > everyone > you.

 
At 5:09 PM, Blogger Laucion said...

Awe no you didn't just send that guy to just one dragon. I find that a multiple dragon offence ^^. Anyways glad to see that your back to your...ummm...evil habits again.

ALL HAIL [GM]Dave! We are unworthy of his holiness!

Oh and the guy tryin' to post as [GM]Dave needs to seriously get a life.

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger Jirizo Reborn said...

"GM DAVE IS A BIG HARY COCK SUCKING FAGOT JERK OFF TO SOME MORE KITTY PORN DIPSHIT AHAHAHAHAHAAH JCBLUE /// DAVE BALL LICKING QUEERS BIOTCHES"

Congradu-fucking-lations! You have been nominated for the 2006 Stupid Awards! If you win! Your prize will be an all expense paid trip straight down Jormungand's digestive system!

-Hosted by [GM]Dave!

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger Richyrockballs said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Richyrockballs said...

"Seriously. I don't care about how much you think you know. I don't and neither does anyone else.

We do, however, want you to shut the hell up"

Amen to that

and also, its a pity about Tak =(

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger Terylieze said...

Be sure to suggest they have the wake in a PvP area and go wearing no weapons and only their most fashionable clothes!!

 
At 12:53 AM, Blogger loque said...

So many dragon feedings ... they're nice, but overdone. I miss the shiny -BAN-

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Kage said...

Those people who say they know everything, annoy those of us that do. :P

Just kidding. I'm far from knowing everything, but people like that give people like me a bad name, people who actually attempt to try to understand things once in a while, apparently, the new fad is to be stupid. I don't quite get that.

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Rez said...

I'm surprised he hasn't gotten a call about the factors affecting synthesis results.
*scrolls up*
Hmm...It appears one of the stupid players got out of Jormungand's cel and even figured out how to make an account (will wonders never cease?). This should be amended.

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger joyc said...

Player>> I practically designed this game.
[GM]Dave>> Did you design this game?
Player>> No.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded and delusional.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.
Player>> That's double.
[GM]Dave>> Retarded, delusional, and doesn't get sarcasm.
[GM]Dave>> You're a triple threat.
Player>> You're not allowed to do that!
[GM]Dave>> Do what?
Player>> Insult me.
[GM]Dave>> You're ugly.
Player>> STOP THAT!
[GM]Dave>> You told me to.
Player>> I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!
[GM]Dave>> I get that alot.
[GM]Dave>> How about we ask an impartial third party.
Player>> FINE.

ah. Things always end up this way... Good Job!

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Nazzy said...

"@Wickerbasket:

You forgot to capitalize "Internet."

Thus, you kind of end up shooting yourself in the foot when bragging about "perfect" grammar online.

I suggest you learn from this infraction.

[GM]Dave > Me > everyone > you."

Um, the internet is a proper noun? It's not a personal name ... or a physical place ... or a religion ... what basis do you wish it to be capitalised?

"GM-DAVE said...
<insert mindless capitalised ranting>"

Doesn't matter how many times, we will not marry you... what was that? you're recovering from a lobotomy? Shame dude, great shame ... wanna cookie?

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Rez said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:09 AM, Blogger Dantaro said...

Player>> I practically designed this game.
[GM]Dave>> Did you design this game?
Player>> No.

Hehe, oh lord, I've had THOSE kind of conversations before >,<

Also GM-Dave (Note: Not [GM]Dave our lord and saviour) I believe this is where we get to say "You fail...at life"

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

Don't engage Tard agro.

Tards link.

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Wickerbasket said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Wickerbasket said...

I was gonna dispute "Internet" but Nazzy burned you for me.

So English isn't your thing, nor does Mathematics appear to be your strong point as you got that simple formula wrong :P

Wickerbasket should be far superior to you.

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger Blogger#B-2874 said...

Tou guys realize that "gm-dave" is not "[GM]Dave"'s handle right?

 
At 1:43 AM, Blogger bigtrain. said...

GM Dave, I love you.

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Shiphrah said...

***To Nazzy and wickerbasket and windexhamster***

Please go to these links.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=internet
http://www.meriam-webster.com/dictionary/internet

Notice both Web sites capitalize "Internet."

When you are talking about THE Internet, the large network of computers and servers connection the world, it IS, in fact, a proper noun. It IS capitalized. Those 2 Web sites say so. My business information systems text books all say so.

This isn't a matter of knowing or not knowing English. It's a matter of knowing the definition of the word and knowing what it is. It's a functional gathering place of people, and there is only one... Therefor, it is proper.

Now let's stop with all the bitching and bickering back and forth, with all the "Ooooo, I'm gonna pwnz0r you!!!" and get back to the most important matter at hand...

[GM]Dave is awesome.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Nazzy said...

Curious ... I'd still argue that on the basis that the internet is a noun, not a proper noun.

The capitalisation is on the basis of it being the internet rather than an internet.

Also, internet technically is a contraction?

But who am I to argue with wholesale gramatical buggery? :P

"It's a matter of knowing the definition of the word and knowing what it is. It's a functional gathering place of people, and there is only one... Therefor, it is proper."

Um, yeah, I know the definition of the work, and I know what it is, and that is not it. The internet is a world wide network of redundant path routing via multiple mediums (including copper, fibre and wireless) that provides a transparent bridge between large numbers of private networks.

Okie, so thats not an exact and comprensive definition, but books have been writen on the subject to provide that. The internet is -not- the people on it, it is -not- the world wide web, it is -not- the content, period. The internet is the underlying hardware providing the end to end connectivity.


And incidentally I've studied BiS, and as far as I'm concerned the subject and it's textbooks can be thrown off the top of the building. I'm a programmer, I don't give 2 monkeys about IT business managment. *shrug*

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Heavensword said...

I remember seeing this phrase in someone's signature :

"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded."

Please stop arguing about grammatical errors. You are not superior because of your 1337 gr4MM@TiC4l PROwe55.

Go feed yourself to a dragon.

Go [GM]Dave!

 
At 7:52 PM, Blogger kooldogy88 said...

[GM]Dave, you should meet Silly from Asura,... You described her perfectly. I am sure your dragon friend would love some Mithra chow. So keep an eye out for a mithra named SILLY.

Just a though. Oh and I <3 you.

 
At 7:52 PM, Blogger kooldogy88 said...

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At 7:53 PM, Blogger kooldogy88 said...

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At 7:53 PM, Blogger kooldogy88 said...

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At 7:53 PM, Blogger kooldogy88 said...

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