[GM]Dave: Not Hellspawn
Alternate Title: "One tough mother..."I'm sure you know what today is.
Just in case you forgot, you may want to walk upstairs and tell your mom Happy Mother's Day.
Now, I learned a loooooooong time ago not to forget Mother's Day.
The time I did and Mom "forgot" to pick me up from school for 7 hours helps.
She called it tough love. I called it neglect and child abuse.
Good times.
Anyway, this morning, I decided to send my mom a great present and wish her a great day.
So, I logged into her server...
Yes.
You read that right.
My mom is a Mithra. You have no idea how much mental trauma that has caused me.
I logged into her server and located her in the Boyahda Tree. She was exping on her THF.
What could I get a THF at level 58?
[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand a person fell out of you.
Mom>> Hello, Honey.
[GM]Dave>> Hey, Mom.
[GM]Dave>> Happy Mother's Day.
Mom>> Thank you, Davey.
[GM]Dave>> Don't call me that.
[GM]Dave>> I killed the last guy who did that.
Mom>> Now, Davey...
[GM]Dave>> I'm serious. I literally killed him.
Mom>> Always the kidder.
[GM]Dave>> He's buried under your garage.
[GM]Dave>> What are you up to?
Mom>> I have no idea. This tank sucks.
Mom>> He goes down faster than I did on Prom night.
[GM]Dave>> That's not funny.
Mom>> Yes, it is.
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> That's an aneurysm waiting to happen.
Mom>> You're too serious.
Mom>> What did you get me?
[GM]Dave>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Who said I got you anything?
Mom>> Let's hope you don't need to be picked up any time soon.
[GM]Dave>> Mom, the lawyer said you had to stop joking about that.
Mom>> Lawyers tell me a lot of things.
Mom>> I can't keep track of all of them.
[GM]Dave>> That's my mom, ladies and gentlemen.
Mom>> What'd you get me?
[GM]Dave>> I didn't get you anything.
[GM]Dave>> What was I supposed to get you?
Mom>> Well, good sons at least cook dinner for their moms.
[GM]Dave>> Oh.
[GM]Dave>> I can do that.
[GM]Dave wishes to trade with you.
Trade completed.
Mom>> Sushi?
[GM]Dave>> Hope you like it.
Mom>> You're a GM and you give me sushi?
[GM]Dave>> I can make meat dishes, as well.
[GM]Dave>> But with the way you miss...
Mom>> Don't make Mommy hit you.
[GM]Dave>> The sushi might help you hit me.
Mom>> I didn't miss when you were five.
Mom>> I won't miss now.
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember that.
Mom>> Concussions will do that.
[GM]Dave>> That's sweet, Mom.
Mom>> I like to think so.
Mom>> Now, where's my real present?
[GM]Dave>> Okay, okay.
[GM]Dave>> I got you something.
Mom>> I knew you would.
Mom>> You're such a good boy, Davey.
[GM]Dave>> Under your garage, Mom.
[GM]Dave>> Seriously.
Mom>> What is it?
[GM]Dave>> It's a dead body, Mom.
[GM]Dave>> He's been under there a while.
Mom>> I mean my present.
[GM]Dave>> Well, I was going to give you a restraining order.
[GM]Dave>> But the first three didn't work.
Mom>> Davey...
Mom>> Have you always been this emo?
[GM]Dave>> Nice.
Mom>> Just give me my present.
[GM]Dave>> Okay, okay.
[GM]Dave wishes to trade with you.
Trade completed.
Mom>> A Scorpion Harness?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. I hope you like it.
Mom>> Not even a +1?
[GM]Dave>> ...
Mom>> Seriously. WTF?
Mom>> You're a damned GM.
[GM]Dave>> It's a SCORPION HARNESS!
Mom>> You could have made a +1.
Mom>> Hell, you could have made a +7.
[GM]Dave>> We're not allowed to do that.
Mom>> Do you always follow the rules?
Mom>> Mama's boy.
[GM]Dave>> Mom synthesized an Emotional Scar +1.
Mom>> This is bullshit.
[GM]Dave>> Oopsy.
[GM]Dave>> Mother dearest?
Mom>> What?
[GM]Dave>> You just used a naughty word.
[GM]Dave>> Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Mom>> Oooooooo I iz getting a warning.
[GM]Dave>> No.
Mom>> I'm not getting a warning?
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> Not exactly.
Mom>> Then what?
[GM]Dave>> Well...
[GM]Dave>> Remember how you wanted more time to knit?
Mom>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Now, you have lots of spare time.
[GM]Dave>> I'd like a sweater, please.
Mom>> What do you mean?
*WARP*
Area: Mordion Gaol
Mom>> Oh damn.
Mom>> How could you do this to your own mother?
[GM]Dave>> The concussions help.
Mom>> So, I can't play for 72 hours.
Mom>> This is ridiculous.
[GM]Dave>> Who said 72 hours?
Mom>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I mean a lot of spare time.
[GM]Dave>> A whole lot.
Mom>> You wouldn't dare.
[GM]Dave>> Love you, too, Mommy.
Mom>> DAVEY!!!
It's funny. You'd think I'd feel bad about banning my own mother.
You'd be wrong.
I still giggle a little when I think about it.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:22 PM
9 Comments:
OMG!!!!! I can't believe you banned your own mother!!!!! But, agreeing with Blogger#B-2874, it does explain so much.... =)
I agree... best one yet. ^^
Your mom sounds wonderful ----
shame on you!! But I love you anyway; keep up the good work.
I don't know may change from the other game === EQ. But it's still very good. Goes beyond the need to know everything--just plain funny.
Wow, such a nice thing to do on Mother's Day ^^v But watch out Dave, her and Jormy might become good friends ;)
Say... could you unban her and put her on Caitsith? She would be happy to know that there aren't as many idoit tanks there as the others, even though I saw a WHM tanking once... *gags and dies*
Nice blog by the way, keep it up.^^
"The time I did and Mom "forgot" to pick me up from school for 7 hours helps."
This helps to understand from who u got such a bastard attitude! :D
"My mom is a Mithra. You have no idea how much mental trauma that has caused me."
I would think having a Mithran father would be more traumatic than having a Mithran mother. Of course, having a Galka as a mother would be even worse. My daughter has a Hume for a mother and an Elvaan for a father. She seems partial to Tarus. Go figure.
After knowing mothers (note, post 35,) getting down and dirty online with younger guys in my ls's... this post makes me feel better.... LOL
T'is a shame that people find it necessary for something to be real to have a laugh about it.
Because, obviously, Goblin Smithy is a real live Goblin Smithy posting from his gobby house and stealing pathfinders bandwidth to pay for it.
Tchyeah.
Been reading for quite a while, keep it up man!
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