Sunday, April 30, 2006

You Are Not Special

Alternate Title: "Well... maybe Short Bus special."

Okay. I'm sure in your little world, you're very, very important.

Yes, yes. Your mom thinks you're cool.

But I hate to tell you this, but your problems are not that important.

They're not. At all. Important. Not important. At all.

Do you understand?

Before you can even send a GM call, a warning screen pops up to tell you that GM calls are only to be made for serious emergencies. Serious emergencies.

The petty annoyances of your day ARE NOT EMERGENCIES!

I swear to God if I have to listen to one more vapid, conceited moron complain about not getting parties, or having missed an airship, or whatever other stick they have up their ass, I'm going to set the servers on fire.

And no, I don't mean Fire IV or Firaga. I mean I will douse them in kerosene and light those babies up.

Let's see if getting lost in Eldieme Necropolis is a major emergency when the harddrive your character is on turns into so much melted plastic and charred metal.

I have major things I have to do during the day. I have people with actual problems that I like to help.

Also, I have about 100,000 retards that need to be injested by a dragon.

I like that, too.

So, your piddly little problems are really not worth my time. REALLY.

Accidentally dropping something valuable is not an emergency.

Wondering which day comes after Firesday is not an emergency.

Forgetting the way to Boyahda Tree is not an emergency.

Sorry. I meant (( The Boyahda Tree )).

I was just about to end a very late shift, when I got a GM call.

Well... it wasn't so much a shift as me clocking in and then running through Dynamis on my main character.

Why I checked the GM call queue, I'm not sure.

Apparently, I'm a masochist.

Sadism and masochism. Yeah, I'm happy about where I am in life. Good times.

GM Call Description: I'm being harassed through tells.

Always with the harassment.

If people actually got "harassed" as much as GM calls would make you think, we'd have to add a new restraining order command.

But, alas, I just had to stop and look at this car wreck...

... I mean respond to this call.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer. Yada yada yada.
[GM]Dave>> What do you want?
Player>> Other players are harassing me through tells.
[GM]Dave>> Suuurrrrrrrrre they are.
[GM]Dave>> How many people?
Player>> 7, I think. Or 8.
[GM]Dave>> Okay, that sounds kind of serious.
[GM]Dave>> What kind of tells are they?
Player>> They just keep badgering me over and over.
Player>> And asking the same questions.
[GM]Dave>> That does sound like harassment.
[GM]Dave>> Let me check the logs.

*minutes pass*

[GM]Dave>> They were asking you to party.
Player>> I know.
Player>> I didn't feel like partying.
[GM]Dave>> They were asking you TO PARTY.
Player>> I know. And they wouldn't stop.
[GM]Dave>> Let me ask you something:
[GM]Dave>> Are you retarded?
Player>> What?!
Player>> HOW DARE YOU?
[GM]Dave>> It's okay.
[GM]Dave>> I'm totally cool with the Retarded.
Player>> I'm not retarded!
[GM]Dave>> And you guys have your own Olympics.
[GM]Dave>> Sure, there's an asterisk next to your record.
[GM]Dave>> But still.
Player>> I'm not retarded!
[GM]Dave>> Am I talking too fast for you?
[GM]Dave>> Or my words. Are they too big?
Player>> STOP IT!
[GM]Dave>> That's good. That's very, very good.
[GM]Dave>> Use your words.
[GM]Dave>> I'm having trouble understanding you.
[GM]Dave>> Is your Mommy or Daddy there?
Player>> I'M 27!!
[GM]Dave>> Like I said: is your Mommy or Daddy there?
[GM]Dave>> That's a very big word.
[GM]Dave>> I'm proud of you.
Player>> I'm filing a complaint against you!
[GM]Dave>> Let me guess.
[GM]Dave>> For harassment.
Player>> YES!
[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to the complaints manager.
Player>> YES! RIGHT NOW!
[GM]Dave>> No problem.


[GM]Dave>> Given your "special" circumstances...
[GM]Dave>> I've contacted our "Alternate Ability" councillor.
Player>> What?!
[GM]Dave>> Sorry. Big words again.
[GM]Dave>> I called the "guy in charge of the retards".
[GM]Dave>> It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Player>> Would you like to be called retarded?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, HELL NO!
[GM]Dave>> That's not even funny.
Player>> Then why do you think I'm retarded?
[GM]Dave>> Well you did ask to see the complaints manager.

Jormungand hits Player for 10,113 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Seems awfully retarded to me.

Honestly, just because something annoying happens to you, it doesn't make it an emergency.

And when you make a GM call about it, your stupid annoyance becomes my stupid annoyance.

And then I'll give you a damned emergency.


At 8:49 AM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

Yay for Jormy!

and retarded people feeding our laughter.

At 9:22 AM, Blogger -liam- said...

I can just imagine someone calling the police about some people asking them to party.. well, wasn't his fault - he's special.

At 9:46 AM, Blogger Dantaro said...

[GM]Dave>> That does sound like harassment.
[GM]Dave>> Let me check the logs.

*minutes pass*

[GM]Dave>> They were asking you to party.

Lmao, I can totally see that happening.

At 10:21 AM, Blogger weary samurai said...

Player>> Would you like to be called retarded?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, HELL NO!
[GM]Dave>> That's not even funny.

thats comedy gold right there. how do you get to have a wit like that?

At 10:30 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...


Lots of whisky.

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

you forgot "*GLEE*"

... he totally deserved to be fed by Jormy.

At 10:35 AM, Blogger Steve said...

[GM]Dave>> Let me check the logs.

*minutes pass*

[GM]Dave>> They were asking you to party.

Wow, some people. Just.... fucking wow. Here's a tear for you....

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

You can't feed retarded kids to Jormungand!

You feed them to Tiamat.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger Christophe said...

GM Call Description: [GM]Dave needs a raise.


It reminds me of a time when I was seeking for an hour on NIN and no bites, and it turns out I forgot to go un-/anon. I only could laugh at myself. I should have said:

GM Call Description: I Screwed up, please feed me to Jormy

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Renarudo said...

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to the complaints manager.
Player>> YES! RIGHT NOW!
[GM]Dave>> No problem.

I fucking love that part of the blogs. I eagerly await for them to get to that part >:-D

I also like the part at the end:

Player>> Then why do you think I'm retarded?
[GM]Dave>> Well you did ask to see the complaints manager.

Jormungand hits Player for 10,113 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Seems awfully retarded to me.

Golden. Like, Triforce golden.

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

I think that [GM]Dave is absolute BS, there's no doubt in my mind that this is just some fake blog, isn't it suprising that NOBODY ever manages to get screenshots of his "evil doings"? And don't you find it funny that he NEVER once mentions anything about calls from Japanese players? The fact of the matter is that to be a GM for FFXI, the job description requires you to live in Tokyo and be bi-lingual. I honestly think that the posts are nothing more than scare tactics to keep people from bugging the GM's about a so called "[GM]Dave" SE wouldn't put themselves in that position where someone they are employing sits there and screws with people. Here's an idea DAVE why not try and post some conversations with some japanese players? Or post some conversations where you actually try to help someone out and resolve an actual issue which is your job description. This guy is about as real as John Titor (

I honestly doubt SE would give GMs the ability to edit Treasure Hunter Rate, that's pretty far fetched if you ask me. But if he really does exist (and i'm going out on a limb here to suggest that) I honestly feel bad for the poor fools who get unjust treatment for someone whose supposed to be doing thier job.

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Lynxis said...

Dayum. Relax. First off, FFXI GMs are seperated into two portions, the NA ones and the JP ones. If you even bothered to read through some of the older posts, you will know that he HAS indeed inflicted dragon eatery on JP players before.

If SEI knew what he was doing, yeah he'd probably be fired from his job but that's the beauty of [GM]Dave. It's the question of who is policing the police?

At 2:31 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

I just honestly have no physical proof that he's doing what he claims to be doing, I really don't understand why someone would go around bragging about something that would most likely get them fired.

At 2:39 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

James. First of all, if you randomly got warped to a dragon and had to fight it, would your first thought be "SCREENSHOT!". Second, in order to take a screenshot of a conversation, you would need Fraps, which is a third party program.

[GM]Dave! He's using fraps! Feed him to Jormy!

In order to be a GM, you DON'T have to live in Tokyo.. there are north American GMs, too.. stop pulling statistics out of your ass.

Go back and read his posts (Unless that's too much reading for you).. it mentions how he has gotten JP calls before.

"I really don't understand why someone would go around bragging about something that would most likely get them fired." Well, if you haven't noticed, everyone (other than you) finds it funny.


At 2:47 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

I'm not condoning idiotic players and their behavior, I never said I didn't find it funny. As far as pulling statistics out of my ass, I didn't that was posted on SE's website a few months ago, next time they have a GM position open check it out, there's a good chance it may well have been for a Japanese GM, but that point aside his blog is only back logged to April 2006. All i'm saying is that the likelyhood of a GM like this existing is very unlikely, no need to get nasty with me for pointing out some obvious flaws of this mans story. I think it's funny that nobody has any solid proof that this GM goes around doing these things. As funny as it is or as horrible as it is depending on who is reading it, anyone could create a blog and claim to be whoever they wanted, it's not that hard to fabricate how the GM system works, especially if you're familiar with most other MMORPGs. If Dave is so proud of his work as a GM so much so that he feels the need to blog about it, why not have him post screen shots? He apparently can edit peoples data files, warp, pop HNMs and everything else that's pretty godlike, you'd think he'd be able to take one screen shot to prove his existance and put an end to people supposedly calling him out.

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Well, maybe he doesn't WANT to take a screenshot? Maybe it's against the GM's Shivalry(Want me to explain that word to you?). Why don't you just give him your Final Fantasy name and server, and he'll prove he's real by banning and/or deleting all of your data.

If you find him funny, and shit, why are you trying to make people believe he's not real? Sounds like something you'd do to someone you hate.


At 3:15 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

I think it's funny to get worked over someone proving that this guy is not real. It infuriates you so much that you might, just might be wrong about something that to most people is pretty unrealistic, nobody likes it when something is proven wrong like saying the world isn't flat, or that the Easter bunny doesn't exist (
I'll gladly give my character name and server, because guess what? There's nothing he can do about it, I haven't violated any Terms of Service, if he is a real GM Dave he'll know why I was sent to Mordion Gaul and got a 72 Hour Ban last year around this time, then he can come here and prove that he's real, which in all likely hood he isn't.

Server - Valefor
Character - Brigannd

I honestly don't expect anything out of this, all I know is that it's a clever ruse by some avid blogger who is obsessed with everything FFXI and who has way too much free time on his hands. He goes out of his way to prove to people that he's real and means business /em inserts sarcasm here. That he'll go to extreme lengths to humilate players and then come make a post about it and brag. But I'm sure if faced to a challenge where in you have to deliver proof of his existence he walks off like a coward.

At 3:21 PM, Blogger weary samurai said...

i hope dave kills your account for being a nonbeliever!

seriously if dave fucked up your shit i'd laugh more than at any other of these guys.

haha, but anyway, a gm can change their name, so its not like a screenshot would help anyway. plus, like a third of the time he is killing their characters and shit from the server so screenshots wouldn't be possible anyway.

i think this shit is true, but regardless, its funny as fuck.

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

1. The easter bunny DOES exist
2. The world IS flat.
Dave should feed you to Jormy just for spreading that propaganda.

"There's nothing he can do about it, I haven't violated any Terms of Service,"
...Have you read ANY of his posts? You don't have to do anything to make him ban you. You can compliment him on his armor, and your ass is inside of Jormy.

[GM]Dave, for the love of god, delete this asshole's account

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

He won't ban my account, he won't do anything, because the fact of the matter is, the chump isn't real.

At 3:30 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

He won't BAN you. He'll just lower your stats, feed you to Jormy, or give you a lifelong pass into GM Jail

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

So I am supposed to assume this man is some crazy vigilante who runs around just banning peoples accounts at will? Give me a break, you realize how ridiculous you sound going "ZOMG TIS GM CAN BAN UR ACONT! HE WLL LOWR JU STATZ!" Without any physical proof it's just another anonymous internet poster just like me, just like you with no credentials whatsovever to back up a single claim he has made.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger fallenangel71 said...

James, you fail at life.

I've always wanted to say that :P

Oh crap im going to be banned for stealing Daves line now...


At 3:45 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

A vigilante means someone who takes the law into his or her own hands. I think GM Dave does the exact opposite, dumbass. Stop trying to use big words.

"you realize how ridiculous you sound going "ZOMG TIS GM CAN BAN UR ACONT! HE WLL LOWR JU STATZ!"

..Uhh.. saying something like that is only funny if the person actually sucks at typing. I type better than you.


At 4:15 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...


You fail for so many reasons.

I'm not going to ban you for one simple reason: you just banned yourself.

Everyone on your server now knows what an absolute moron you are. I don't have to do anything to your account because the people who read your comments will know better than to actually invite you.

I will toss on a good old THzero, though, so should any HNMLS ever consider inviting you, they'll have reason to reconsider.

I mean other than your rampant stupidity.

Your posts are filled with inaccuracies and errors so deep that everyone reading your mindless garbage has already figured out that you're nothing more than a pseudo-intellectual wannabe.

Also, before you say things like "he's got too much time on his hands", you may want to not spend an entire day posting in the comments section of a blog.

And speaking of blogs, I took the time to peruse yours.

Dashboard Confessional called. They want their Emo back.

Damn, man, could you be more pathetic. "For every hello there's a thousand good byes." The only goodbyes are the people who check out your blog and then uninstall Firefox just to cleanse the stupidity from their computers.

Like I said: You fail.


At 4:30 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Nicely said, [GM]Dave.

Along with the THzero, can you feed him to Jormy? Once?:)

You're awesome

At 4:40 PM, Blogger inky said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger inky said...


You, sir, are an idiot.


At 4:52 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Hey, Dave.

I talked to James. He kept saying he could "pwn" you, and Jormy. And he said you can't do shit about it.

And he also said you dress funny. Ban him! :D

..Alright, that wasn't true. But seriously, he sucks.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Calyst said...

He isn't insulting you, he's calling you out on what you are, a fake. You're just a stupid blogger who wants to act cool and pretend you're a GM, lol laughable, you are about as real as the ass pimples on the average dork who wishes he/she were a GM, talk about a stupid fantasy. Way to go James for pointing out that this dipshit isn't what he claims he is, everyone on Valefor loves you, and what GM Dave claimed to have said is a lie, Brigannd (James') character is in a HMNLS, he also has a very well respected Dynamis Mana Burn LS as well, next time you try and make shit up Dave like you are so adept at doing, get your facts straight ... oh yeah that's right, you're an all knowing GM afterall, so you already knew that about him ^_- but you just failed to mention it.

Calyst - Valefor

At 5:53 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Calyst, just shut the fuck up. Seriously. You just saw that James got [GM]Dave to talk to him by saying he's not real, and you want that priviledge, too.

Go get a hobby.

At 5:54 PM, Blogger Avihai said...

It doesn't matter if [GM]Dave is a real GM or not. the point is he took the time to put down entertaining postas for our enjoyment...and enjoy we do. I like the GMs I think they are fair, and as dave said in this very post, he likes to help people.

the point isn't is he a GM or not, If you don't like him/Don't think hes a GM...THEN DON'T READ THE BLOG YOU MORON!

[GM]Dave keep up the good work.

At 5:55 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

What the hell is with Valefor and morons that can't separate their text into paragraphs?

I mean if you're going to be stupid, at least do so in a manner that doesn't make people's eyes bleed.

Congratulations, James, on finding someone actually dumber than you to come here and back you up. I honestly didn't think you could do it.

Next thing I know, your mom will be in here telling me how awesome you really are.

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

[GM]Dave, don't give him any ideas.. I can imagine his mom coming on..

James Mommy said...
Stop picking on my son! He is the most handsome guy on the game!

At 6:09 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

I don't even think his mom could say that with a straight face.

At 6:09 PM, Blogger Artos said...

I like my retards with a side of dodgeball.

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Ahleyanna said...

All right children.. (GMDave not included) thats enough.

You retards on Valefor(im now ashamed to admit i also am from Valefor) keep calling him out saying he out for attention, wtf do you think your doing?

Now, do what your mom always told you to do and ignore the stupid 'special' kids that wouldn't stop calling you names and shit.

They are NOT worth any more of our time, nor [GM]Dave's valuable time.

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

[GM]Dave, I have a question

Have you considered starting your own religion?

At 6:29 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Of course I have.

The papers have been filed and now I'm just waiting for the ceremonial wine (read: whisky) to arrive.

Pretty soon, Davism will be in full swing.

At 6:33 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Hells yeah! Can I join? Do I have to perform any Jormungand rituals, or anything? 'Cause that might not work out very well..

At 6:38 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

Good evening poor Dave, i just want to
tell you that i pity you :) it's pretty funny tho, pretending to be someone you are not, and even funnier that the retawds+1 believe you are this badass you claim to be, still funny, and if you really exists, please come and visit me at Ragnarok, i go by the nick of Aesth. I'd love to pay your sword a visit <3 peace

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Hey, Dave. I guess James called in his reenforcements. 3 people have claimed you are fake.

Don't worry, that's the last of his friends, though

At 6:51 PM, Blogger weary samurai said...

oh no, don't look now, a bunch of james' friends are coming to back him up. oh no!

i mean, cmon, dave just pwned your friend all over the place with the post he did addressing him, as did a few others noting the inaccuracies of the posts.

the fact that james needs some cronies to come and bad mouth our good friend dave shows that james is a coward and can't fight his own fights.

also, the fact that his friends would come at his beck and call to try and argue over the internet is real special. i mean hey, arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still a retard.

so...way to go.

At 6:53 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Whatever.. they just saw that James got Dave to talk to him, so they all want attention, too.. They probably all think he's a real GM, they just want attention.

Jormy's gunna' eat well tonight

n00b with a side order of Banned

At 6:56 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

well, since im from norway, and dont know who this "james" is, pretty much prooves im not here just backing a friend up, i seriously think it's way funny what dave writes, i just dont believe he's real, but if he comes and
pays me a visit, i'll never ever doubt. i love you too guys <3

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

1. You spelled "Proves" wrong.
2. You know damn well Dave's real. You just want him to "Come pay you a visit", so you're making it seem like he's doing a favor by going to your server and beating the living shit out of you.

At 7:01 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

haha, of course you're right, the actual truth is that im so damned in love with dave, i can't think of anything else than he's wonderful being hugging my body <3
im also in love with you <3
and i like eggs

At 7:02 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

..It's apparent that you're in love with me, want to bone Dave, and have an Egg fetish, but you seriously need to get some help.

Attention whore.

At 7:04 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

Yes, if every being was just like you Galkizzle, you're so smart and charming! and you read my soul like an
open book, of course i just do this for the attention, that's just as true as dave is a gm <3
loving you more and more my friend <3

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Yeeeah, what can I say? I'm a pimp.

Quick question. Are you a guy or girl? 'cause this is starting to get weird.

"of course i just do this for the attention, that's just as true as dave is a gm <3"
So, you do it for attention? Just want to make sure we're on the same page..

At 7:14 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

Im not sure what sex i am, i think im a boy, and yes, of course I do it for the attention. I burn with desire for having a random not real person at the internet giving me attention, you're so good at reading people, and that's why i love you. But may i give you some advice, drop the dick out of your hand and stop crying, we can pretend dave to be real if it makes you feel better honey <3
Now im off chasing some polarbears and start thinking of you and dave in subligar <3

At 7:19 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

If you're not sure what sex you are, there must've been some inbreading in your family..

If you're a male, please stop saying "<3".. you told me "drop the dick out of your hand and stop crying".. you keep saying "<3", and you think I have a dick in MY hand.. alright, bud. Have you seen me "Crying" at all? All I'm doing is bitching because of assholes like you who clearly want attention.

I checked out your profile. Empty. Checked your blog. Empty. Checked the date you made this account. 4/30/06. It seems that you only made that blog so you could post to GM Dave.

Let's guess which other names you posted under...

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

1. Damn straight my response is inevitable.

2. "I anticipate your inevitable response (read: you taking another load down your throat)." made no sense. It says you're anticipating my inevitable taking another load down my throat.

3. You're entitled to your own opinion, sure, but if you're opinion's not the same as mine, I'll do my best to annoy the fuck out of you

4. "Galkizzle, how can you think straight while sucking [GM]Dave's cock?" If I was, in fact, sucking Dave's cock, that would anticipate that he's real. SCORE ONE, BITCH

At 7:26 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Anyone else want a piece of me? Bring it on, bitches

At 7:28 PM, Blogger Alamoth said...

OMG you're all fighting over the internet. I went through an entire handle of J.D. reading this fucking comments. Now I know how [GM]Dave feels.

At 7:28 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

aaaw, how cute :)
it's ok Galkizzle, i dont think you look or smell funny :) i like you for who you are, and it appears you are another one of poor poor dave's "blog-mules" to help yourself get a good reputation.
That's just as sad as uploading pictures of yourself at "hot or not" sites and voting yourself to the top,
but you make me laugh my friend, keep the good work up, *huggles*

At 7:31 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

phuzhtixX, does making people honestly think you're gay make you're happy? Because I seriously think you are.

And you think I'm [GM]Dave's blog-mule..? Wow. Whatever. Do you actually think that I act like him enough to be the same person as him?

Queer Bastard..

At 7:34 PM, Blogger Curse said...

Dear lord ...

The people that come here and praise [GM]Dave aren't praising his deeds, we're praising his work and ability to say the things that most of us are thinking about people around us (especially people who work in the customer service field).
He is an excellent writer and you sit there and condemn him for that?
By criticising this you only appear to be a damned fool. FFXI is filled with people like you:
"I don't like your job because this-and-that-and-this..." etc. etc. It's easy to criticize something and seem to know what you're talking about. It makes you look more intelligent ... to yourself.
Fact of the matter is: 3/4s of the people around you think you're an ass-hat.
It takes more intelligence to see something as it truly is (in this case: humor), or to find the best functional means of making something work (in the case of a raggy job in a party).
Eat ass for flaming [GM]Dave, go find a blog you can understand (I suffest Dipshit from Valefor's Emo journal).

At 7:35 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

It's true that i created this account just to blog here, to have a laugh, and you made me have many, and yes, of course im gay, and i love you for sharing the same love that i do,
i really cant believe you get so fired up writing here, " Anyone else want a piece of me? Bring it on, bitches": bring your toy-guns and wage war against the whole world, you're a clever young man.
But to be realistic, you're probably a thug-hustler with alot of real guns, so i think it's smartest of me to stop pointing at you shitting yourself :)
gnight hun <3
<3Galkizzle + me forever <3 and ever <3

At 7:38 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

And to actually post a serious message. I really love to read what [GM]Dave posts, it's hilarious, and he's an excelent writer! I really love this stuff, but please don't take my pre-posts seriously, if you think with a bith of depht in your mind, you probably realize that there's about 2% truth in my last posts (that i like eggs and come from norway is also true)
And Dave, keep up the good work, i really love the dragon-feeding parts.

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Phuz, Honestly, I have no clue what you just said. Something about me being a thug.

But honestly, stop trying to get in bed with me. We know that you love GM Dave, and just want him to talk to you, but stop.

At 7:42 PM, Blogger phuzhtixX said...

Galk, come on, just realize none of my posts except this and the last one is serious from my side, im just trying to fire you up and you obviously eat the bait without even thinking 2 times, im sorry if i upset you, seriously, we both love Dave's writing, let's bury it there.
Im off, have a good night all

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Yes, I know you're joking. We'll leave it at that. And I'm off for the night. See ya' all.

At 7:48 PM, Blogger Angel Puff said...

I must admit that you are quite the character. I do applaud you in doing your job well.

At 10:27 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

Hey guess what? I went out tonight and had a few drings went out and tried a BCNM to prove you worng, guess what? 2x Genin Rings in a row, you aren't special either ^^; You couldn't even send me a /tell [GM]Dave = Fake so much for nerfing my TH.

At 10:35 PM, Blogger Clintoc said...

You guys are pathetic, I went with him tonight to do a KS30 run as well as the BCNM30 run he did and I can honestly say that GM Dave is full of absolute bullshit, we got 2 x Genin Rings, 1 x V. Claw, 2x O. Ingots and 1 D. Clothm GM Dave = fake, grow up and go back to you what you do best making fake posts on your pathetic blog and at least prove that you're nothing more than a kid with free time on his hands.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger Clintoc said...

Also I find it funny that Brigannd has at least 2 screenshots to prove that his TH is not broken as well as prove that GM dave is full of absolute BS where as GM Dave can't prove a single thing he has said as well as post anything to his credibility and you idiots continue to kiss his ass only because you think he has some power that he doesn't. Grow up.

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

Another proof of my TH not being broken, wow GM Dave must be one bad guy, he can really stop me from doing what I do best, congratulations, you have proven to me that any person on the internet can get a loyal leigon of idiots to follow them and get them to believe anything you want, I offer hard evidence that you have not affected my TH ability at all and you can't come up with 1 single screenshot at all, oh yeah, my account? It's still up. I will post my results from Dynamis Jeuno on Wednesday and my Sazuko run on Tuesday, I want everyone to know this is absolute BS, and that you should challenge the so called GM Dave, because guess what? He isn't real.

At 10:52 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

Oh yeah almost forgot my image, mind you BCNM30: Creeping Doom, manaburned by 3x BLMs, THFs [No Thanks] You sir FAIL at claiming to nerf peoples drops and FAIL at claiming to be a GM, next time you want to prove yourself actually ban my account ^^ Because I can give you a list of 30+ people who will tell you that I am alive and well and acitve on Valefor. Have fun playing your fake game that you're playing, hopefuly more people will call you out on what you actually are, a fraud, a fake and a liar, have fun living your little fabricated world you've created, and congratulations for your loyal following of idiotic internet trolls who think you have some sorr of magical power that is non existent.

At 11:05 PM, Blogger Tobaba said...

/em pours [GM]Dave a double single malt, neat.

Ok darlings, lets remember we are all here for one reason. Real or not we love [GM]Dave, he makes us laugh, he feeds the people we want to feed to dragons and then gets annoyed because of the hastle factor (i.e. work) involved.

And to everyone who says he isn't real, well honestly I don't care, he makes me laugh and that is real enough for lil' ol me.

At 11:09 PM, Blogger Stocky said...

[QUOTE]Damn, man, could you be more pathetic. "For every hello there's a thousand good byes." The only goodbyes are the people who check out your blog and then uninstall Firefox just to cleanse the stupidity from their computers.[QUOTE]
Can i lol now? Please? Now maybe? Oh god don't make me wait the tension is killing me! LOL@ Valefor!

I echo Davism...James, you fail at life.

At 11:12 PM, Blogger blasted.chris said...

Well this arguing was rather interesting. If [GM]Dave exists or not doesn't matter to me, none what so ever.

What does matter though is that I get some kind of entertainment out of this blog. So what if you proved that [GM]Dave is as real as Santa Claus, does this make you the big man on campus? I think not...

Still congrats on figuring out something that didn't need to be figured.

Now off to Dave, if you are real (even though James somewhat proved that you may not be) please don't burn the servers, I for one really like the servers and haven't made any retarded GM calls, hell I haven't made any at all. I got stuck between two rock and managed to get unstuck by Provoking a Quadav and letting it kill me...problem solved I think.

So yea, your blog is entertaining and I hope you don't let James and his band of buddies hinder you from continuing with the hilarious posts. Good night to all, and congrats James on grabbing whatever it was you got two of.

At 11:32 PM, Blogger [GM]NoxNoctis said...

i think everyone already knows that he isn't real... it seems to be just a comedy thing but i don't really see what makes it so funny...

oh well, hf

At 11:54 PM, Blogger Silver 9 said... are an insult to everyone on the Valefor server...and I will make sure I NEVER invite you to anything...*ever*.

Hell, I believe that I regret inviting you the few times I did now.

In other news: [GM]Dave, your blog is quite possibly the best I've ever see out there. (granted it's probably the only one I've seen out there, but I digress.) I'll attempt to ignore your potshot at us over here at the Valefor server, just because the two you were refering to actually *deserved* the shot you fired at 'em.

Too bad you didn't get a complete headshot.

Anywho, love the blog, keep 'em coming. =D

At 1:11 AM, Blogger kitty monk said...

I want to say something. I really do. But there's not much un the 70-some-odd posts before me that haven't said/proved the same thing.

James, you fail the internet.

Real, not real, it doesn't matter either way, honestly.

Here's a simple reason why.

He makes us laugh.

Does laughing give you some sort of nauseating feeling? Or how about seeing other people enjoying themselves? Are you *that* selfish you have to start and fuel a flame war on a freaking BLOG?

You must be from Halvung, 'cause you're definately a troll.

At 1:29 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

Poor [GM]Dave. He writes about his experiences to share the pain. The desire to ram a pencil into your brain goes down when you get to ram a dragon into someone elses.

And does that release free him from the retards who cause the pain in the first place?

Apparently, it spawns more.

That's just so unfair.

I'd use words that were too large for you, so I'm going to make Squirt explain it. She's close to retarded, so you might bond. Let me give her a call...

At 1:35 AM, Blogger Squirt said...

Reeree says if you think [GM]Dave is funny then you who cares if he's real GM. It's like how you shouldn't ask your mommy and that guy with the funny hat she's always giving money to about the tooth fairy if you still get quarters under your pillow 'cause you might jinx it.

I love the Tooth Fairy!

And then she said that if you don't think [GM]Dave is funny then why would you come back here over like all those funny men keep coming back to your mom's house when you could go do something else like go outside or play Legos?

I love LEGOS!

Okay, bye.

Squirt! ^_^

At 2:32 AM, Blogger lesa said...

Whether he is real or not remains to be seen ... however I think all this drama stems from you guys being jealous that you didn't think of this shit first.

GM Dave is hilarious. Get off his jock and stop sweating him.

At 2:40 AM, Blogger Hand Of Cruelty said...

I say, were you the one that wrote Bastard Operator from Hell?

If you pull the theme from FFXI and insert Computer Support Tech. you sound the exact same!

At 3:28 AM, Blogger Garedur said...

Frankly 1/3 of the fun I get from this blog comes from reading the comments. It would be 1/2 the fun if it wasn't for the fact that I spend half the time wincing at the stupidity of man.
I recall seeing an argument like this one in a religious forum. There are usually two sides in such a discussion:

1) The devout believers who believe god ([GM]Dave) exists and don't want to believe anything else.

2) The non-believers, heretics infidels and yadayada.

Any person placing him- or herself anywhere between these two camps will immediately be gunned down in the crossfire unless they have the repartee equivalent of a panzer tank. It is impossible to "have a foot in either camp" since doing so would result in inconcievable pelvis strain.

The believers want to believe that there is a god (read: [GM]Dave) and generally won't accept any argument to the contrary unless is given.

The non-believers are generally critical and won't believe unless they are given concrete proof.

The problem? Noone can prove ANYTHING. In religion it is impossible to prove anything. In this discussion we have the same problem. Hands up all the FF(roman numeral) GM's posting here! I have no idea what powers a GM has, nor do I know what powers the company has to locate a rogue GM. The only person who might know these things is in fact the subject of this debate and is thus biased.

Thus none of us can deal a decisive blow to the opposition and therefore resort to personal attacks (some better than others).

In this case I'm going to have to side with the believers to avoid getting gunned down. I am aware that [GM]Dave may not in fact be a real GM, but frankly what do I care? All I see is stupid people getting what they (usually) deserve. A brief tour of a dragons digestive system. I also feel that this blog does some good by setting the fear of dave into the hearts of all retards.

To end this way-too-long post I will make an attempt to blow a hole in James' "proof".

James, you just posted your account on this forum. Now if [GM]Dave really is a GM and he really does these things, then his employers would be keeping a good eye on this site don't you think?

Dave has generally been good at not mentioning specific names and accounts that could be checked by his employers to see who banned them. By "proving" himself to exist Dave could be found out... and then wouldn't exist. Neat, huh? The best thing about Dave is that nobody knows if he is "real".

Congratulations dave, you are now a feared, debated, idolised, hated and unprovable myth.

Now you can get that damn religion off the ground.

At 4:11 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Why James Fails - Vol. 2


You must be much dumber than I first thought. And your little cronies can't be far behind.


First off, TH does not affect Armoury Crate drops, you moron. If it did, wouldn't every KS or BCNM strategy include a THF?

Your "proof" is nothing more than a confession of your own ignorance of game mechanics. It is sad that people, no matter how stupid, pay attention to you.

Failure #1 - Fails at basic logic
Failure #2 - Fails to understand game mechanics

Second, do you really think I would post my blogs from work? I made that post LAST NIGHT, retard.

I haven't been into work since. Thus, your proof is nothing more than an idiot running around taking screenshots and talking to himself.

Failure #3 - Failure to use even the most basic common sense

Third, people from your own server have already posted that they will no longer invite you. Thus, the need for me to even consider banning you is moot.

Failure #4 - Failure to accept the obvious

Fourth, as pretty much every other poster has pointed out, no one would even care if I were a fake. Nobody.

They're hear to read my writing and my take on the GM job. They are here for the content and the humor.

Failure #5 - Failure to understand the matter at hand.

Fifth, everyone has already figured out (and many have already posted) that the only reason you are here is because you are jealous.

You thought you were the big man and it turns out you are just plain dominated. Your piddly little in game successes pale in comparison and it eats you up inside.

And we all see it.

Go to Jeuno and shout your name and see what kind of response you get. Then shout my name.

That's all the proof you should need, bitch.

Failure #6 - Failure to accept what you have and stop hating those better than you.

In closing, I would like to say that this little exercise has been quite entertaining for me. It would have been more fun if you weren't making my arguments for me, but I have always enjoyed pointing out the stupidity of conceited people.

And, for the reasons listed above, I can concretely say that you fail. You fail at arguing, you fail at playing, you fail at being.

You fail at life.

Thank you,

At 4:12 AM, Blogger Inia said...

Congratulations dave, you are now a feared, debated, idolised, hated and unprovable myth.


I don't care whether [GM]Dave is real or not. This blog is meant to be humorous. If you don't think it's funny, don't read it.

I realize this will keep reduce the number of things for some people to whinge about, but seriously, go away and let the rest of us enjoy the blog without bogging it down in these idiotic arguments.

Keep up the good (read: whiskey-induced) work, [GM]Dave!

At 5:30 AM, Blogger Nazzy said...

[quote]Any person placing him- or herself anywhere between these two camps will immediately be gunned down in the crossfire unless they have the repartee equivalent of a panzer tank. It is impossible to "have a foot in either camp" since doing so would result in inconcievable pelvis strain.[/quote]

Okie give me a minute to stop laughing at that one :D

In summary of Garedur's post:
God - exists with his powers partly because his existance cannot be proven.
Dave - exists with his powers partly because his existance cannot be proven.

This is where we start a cult :)

Now, I've managed to cease laughing, so on to the morons... I've found a picture of you guys!

Puh ... Phut ... Peachy!
After much thought, I'm thinking this must be James

(*pst* me lol)

Lets start with some definitions...
Satire: Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

Fantasy: The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy.

Got that?

Okie... now personally I think that the author of this blog is a GM, but that fact matters not, since we know that the author isn't actually called [GM]Dave. For simplicity sake, we'll call him Dave anyway :P

We know that Dave would be fired for this blog, the question is thus: why?

Either what he's writing really has occured, and he is managing to evade detection thus far (possible, assuming the logs are designed right, he could avoid detection for quite a while).
Or, he could be fired for a number of reasons stemming from creating a work of fiction of what he would -like- to do.

See the thing is, when connected to computers, a lot of people spontanteously lose a section of their brain. It's a curious phenomena that I'm sure is being studied by some sociologists and psychologists somewhere.

What happens is a lot of people suddenly become unfathomably stupid. This usually doesn't manifest itself until they are presented with a situation where they need to use common sense ("Hmmm, an error message. What could it mean?").

At this point they go screaming to the person they feel to be responsible and start displaying a level of uncomprehension and helplessness that is usually associated with a new born baby. These are the kind of people that place stupid GM calls ... these are the kind of people anyone in customer services wants to kill in slow and painful ways.

Employers do not like you killing their customers in slow and painful ways.

Or thinking of it.

And esp not broadcasting it to lots of people on a public blog.

They also don't like you throwing purple cheese at them either, but thats besides the point.

(Wow, isn't this long o_O)

Another symptom of this loosing of brain is the people who touch a computer and suddenly think it's such a funny idea to go and act really big and oh so powerful cause they mastered the on button on the modem. Yes, hello james, hello Peachy.

So, back to the subject at hand, hardco... no, that wasn't the subject ... oh yeah, [GM]Dave!
See, it doesn't matter if Dave really does these things or not... Same as it doesn't really matter that your favour book/tv/game character doesn't really exist. The enjoyment is in the reading.

"Suspension of belief" .. look it up ;)

And there is always that thought as you read that maybe, just maybe, the fiction is inspired by a bit of reality.

Still don't get it? You fail at life :)

Dave: Dispite all the crap that happens on FFXI, the idea that there are at least some GMs with such brilliant senses of humour inspires me to continue playing ;)

Next time I'm cooking and fall in the water for the umptheen time, I'll consider calling a GM to get you .... then I'll say sod it and spend 10 minutes finding the way up the shore.

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Blkdragongirl of Fairy said...

Not gonna comment on the stupidity of some people today. I'm just too tired.

Great posts as usual [GM]Dave. You make me smile every single time i come here.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Brigannd said...

I still have no concrete proof that GM Dave exists, that's all I'm asking for and not a single person can prove his existence. I've gone out farming for hard drops as my THF, I've gotten the same amount of drops as I normally get farming, I've tested the so called editing of the TH nerf that GM Dave claims he can do on a few mid level notorious monsters and got drops. I don't care if you want to flame me for not believing in this so called GM. As far as someone not wanting to invite me to do something from my server for not believing in a fairy tale? That's like being /blisted for being a proclaimed atheist. All I want is some hard core proof of GM Daves existence, he can't offer anything other than these inane ramblings that he gives.

"But wait a minute! GM Dave has real player names from real servers!" You say, but guess what? Anybody can run to any FFXI forum and get player names from posts that he see's there. So he isn't special, he doesn't have godlike powers, and why not just admit that you're a fake?

Are you affraid of loosing this credibility? You have nothing to loose, you've had your fun, you've gotten your cheap laugh and there's only so many times you can claim to feed an idiotic player to HNMS and it will be funny, if time has proven anything it's that the same routine, especially in comedy get's old quick. People will move on once they realize how formulamatic this is, how many times can someone believe these posts? I honestly thought the average player wouldn't be this gullible.

I'm trying to give proof that he isn't real, and based on the responses I've seen and the actions he's claimed to have taken, I know for a fact that everything he's said is absolute BS. I'm not insulting anyone, I just wanted proof that he's real, I assumed that with all of his deeds somewhere someone would have documented at least one piece of evidence but everyone on this post fails on that end. You can shut me up once you prove he's real. I'll post the results from my weekly Dynamis, HNM burns, and god runs from this week, with screen shots at that and what will you guys offer? Absolutely nothing. Not one single piece of evidence that he exists except for some hand written text conversations and a loosely based idea of how being a GM for SE works, but what do I know? I just "fail" and have cheap shots taken at me for trying to get some sort of proof.

At 7:54 AM, Blogger -liam- said...

If he was to 'prove' his existance by doing something such as banning you just to prove he isn't fake, then he could potentially be fired for whatever reason (misconduct, whatever).

More than half of the people who read this blog don't care if he's real or not, so stop getting so pissy about it and calm down. Is it really worth it?

At 8:13 AM, Blogger Tobaba said...

James, listen up and pay attention! WE DON'T CARE IF HE REALLY IS A GM! We love him like Orange Kuchten.

And another thing we aren't here for you, otherwise we would be reading your blog ... right? But we aren't are we?

[GM]Dave is funny, hilarous in fact, and charming (read: sexah!), and honestly I wanted to feed more than one person (read: people like you) to Jormy and I was just a lil ol WHM and yet I couldn't so I quit FFXI.

/em pours more whiskey.

So [GM]Dave, keep up the good work, and pretty pretty please lets end this debate now, have some whiskey and party like its 1999 in the Boyahda Tree!

At 9:07 AM, Blogger Manabu said...

You are the greatest GM-Dave!

At 10:21 AM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

You would think that with all the people fed to Jormy that he would start to lose his vicious nature. Kinda like overfeeding a guard dog. Keep this up much longer and he will be tameable by BSTs.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger weary samurai said...

you see james, he doesn't need to do shit to you.

thing is, you came here hoping to get all his readers to laugh at him, believe your shitty accusations, and leave. the whole "oh i just want to show hes not a gm" bullshit doesn't go far. everyone can see your petty and immature attitude showing through.

truth is, dave already won. what you want most is to take dave out of the limelight and be the hero. well tough shit, you are seen as the loser you are and dave is even more awesome for kicking your ass in arguments right here. he doesn't need to do shit to you.

also, the fact that you have no proof that he exists doesn't mean shit. want to know why? its what separates ideas or even theories from actual fact. and, since your point is only a "oh no he doesn't!" then its simply an opinion.

if the lack of proof that something exists was enough to debase any argument. the notion that the world was round could have been debased, as could have any fact or belief system existing today. proof came later.

also, if what you say is true, then all of those religious people with no proof that their beliefs are true, wouldn't have latched on to the belief in the first place.

i feel sorry for you james. i hope you get a life as you clearly don't have one from how often you've posted on here.

At 10:25 AM, Blogger zan said...

First off... Great work [GM] Dave!
I love reading your tales at work.


Hey James, I was reading your Blog and it seems you really have no life. Get a clue or a real life. Dave is here to entertain us. I mean after reading your blog I just wanted to kill myself. "Why am I single?" Your single because fail at life.

Pokemon? Oh my god. You just flamed yourself with that.

One more work in food services. *clears throat* Do you want fries with that?

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Aeri said...

scroll down to almost the bottom of the page <_<

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Santa said...

James, {Satire} {Sense of Humour} Do you have it?

Do you think there's an "Animal Farm" out somewhere being run by talking pigs?

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Music-chan said...

Dangit, that drinking game based on stupid comments would get me SO DRUNK today....

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Brigannd said...

That answers all of my questions, when you want the truth, you go and get it yourself, have fun believing in GM Dave.

At 12:13 PM, Blogger weary samurai said...

and as aeri pointed out...

so who do we believe eh?

At 12:19 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

That screenshot is low quality, poor resolution and is most like edited, I took multiple screen shots

I'm sure you believe there's a real "Retard Hat" don't you? It's called photoshop.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Brigannd said...

Might as well toss these in here for good measure just to prove my point.

At 12:36 PM, Blogger weary samurai said...

alright, im doing my absolute best, but i can't see where it is low quality...

if you could please enlighten me i'd appreciate it because they both look the same to me.

At 1:43 PM, Blogger Ferretter said...

Oh wow, the comments are just about as entertaining as the blog...

I just wish my server didn't attract this breed of idiot ^^;

Your calling him out? James, are you seriously 23? Most people would have grown up by then.

Keep up the good work Dave (-.-)b

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Rathclav said...

Ok now is it just me or is jame's 'conversation' with a gm a little pathedic... Look at the names. Why is it the 'gm' calls 'james' one name, when clearly you can see all of /tell's are both using the same name. Just one with gm and one without. Now itm ight just be that somehow the picture's magicly edited themselfs... but to my eye it looks just a little odd.

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Stocky said...

Aww, bless, you see James, you are sub~conciously believing every one of Dave's words. How? You went out and tested the so called nerf, if you didn't believe in him, why test a non existant nerf?

Number of things you fail at:
1. Having a sense of humor
2. Common sense
3. Logic
4. The internet
5. Smiling, "For every hello there's a thousand goodbyes"? Damn, you must be a lonely dude, and i can see why.

*Signs up to Davism*

At 2:02 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

Wow, who knew how much attention a person could get for being retarded.

You beat two trees!

You know what would be easier that writing stories that people find entertaining? Being a critic.

Even if you are a lame critic, you can get your name shouted.

Sure, it's shouted in the context of "[name] is a gimp-ass retard" but they might even spell it right. When you can't suckle on your mother's teat anymore, because that's frowned upon after you're 27, then even negative attention is still attention, right?

So, if those people didn't get any responses from harassing [GM]Dave, what would they do to reach a climax?

At 4:11 PM, Blogger Avihai said...

Why are you so hell bent on ruining the fun. So what if GM dave exists or not.

the point here is to read some funny stories and then think about how much those kind of people suck.

you James are what we call a Shit desterber. you perposfully want to ruin the fun of every one here.

good job, youve accomplished nothing.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Blaize said...

I'm gonna get straight to the point here.

People trying to battle this non-existant truth claim (that dave is a GM) is flat out pointless, like trying to disprove in God.

The believers soon start to argue that [GM]Dave is a concept, or that this blog is a model for how we should play Final Fantasy - it doesn't matter.

The opposers stick to their notion of emprical evidence, or lack, thereof.

Two thousand (or so) years of debate, yet no conclusive evidence for or against a God - how long do you want to argue about this?

For the people who feel that this blog should be a manifestation of their own instabilities: A comments page on someone else's blog just isn't the place to debate. Join a debate team, study some philosophy, write a book,

Just please don't litter the comments page with cross references of friends' testimonies or pictures/screenshots.

With reference to screenshots:
This isn't evidence, its a picture of evidence, and unfortunately, digital data won't stand as proof alone.

Think about what you are claiming to be true or false, and realise the insurmountable task that faces you.

I cast no affinity to either prodave or antidave camps, I am agnostdave/pragmadave.

Now that I have successfully wasted my time in trying to enlighten you to the idiocy of your actions, I will meditate on the stupidity of this post.

Funny blog, I love it!


At 5:12 PM, Blogger Laucion said...

Can't we all just get along?

That being said, this whole argument is incredibly retarded.

EVERYONE KNOWS [GM]DAVE EXISTS, even if its just within his fans. This blog is the embodyment of [GM]Dave.

Keep up the great work Dave!

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Rez said...

People are's a fact of life. [GM]Dave is pointing out some stupid "shite" that people actually WILL and HAVE done.

Everyone makes mistakes and try to learn from them, but People like James...They just fail.

People like James need to take that "dildo +1" out of their asses for a second, just one minute second and realise that they are making a pointlessly big deal out of this and need to find something else in life to fail at (or at least some immediate mental assistance).

At 7:58 AM, Blogger AKosygin of said...

Well, maybe I can provide another view....

[GM]Dave's existence in a symantectical sense is not important. [GM]Dave is the embodiment of the feelings of anyone working as an interactive online game customer service representative. He may or may not exists specifically as "[GM]Dave" for all of you know, he could actually be "[LGM]Yamano".

In all cases, [GM]Dave personifies the everyday frustration of anyone working in such a field and that Final Fantasy XI provides nothing more than a setting and a backdrop for a story that is based on a true story.

As with any based on true events stories, there is always dramatizations, and changing of names to protect people and other things. This is definitely no exception.

While I will not say anything either way about the "existence" of your "god" or "[GM]Dave", I am willing to (though unable to) bet my handle-name that this feeling of frustration does exists with those whom have worked in this field; and as such this blog is more symbolic in an embodiment of the day to day happenings of any MMORPG service representative.

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Tsuki said...

Real or not,we all love GM[Dave]

At 9:08 AM, Blogger Nimrod said...

Whatever happened to reading it because it was funny?

James, who honestly cares if he's real or not, no matter if you prove that he is or not, people will still read the blog. It doesn't really matter wether you want to prove it because you want to get your name out there, people like to read the blog because it's funny.

And are you stupid? He already said all the GMs that do know about him just say he isn't real, and those that don't know him say he isn't real, because they think he's not real. They aren't going to tell you if he's real or not.

Keep it up [GM]Dave d(^.^d) love the blog~

At 1:34 PM, Blogger October said...

[GM]Dave may be a real GM. Probably not under the name of "[GM]Dave".
It shouldn't matter too much.

However even if he is be a real GM I doubt that he's done all of the things that hes describing in his blog.

(Just try to imagine what a hell Allakazham would be like if someone warped over a thousand players to Mordion Gaol. The whole place would explode.)

Still refering to Allakazham. A lot of posters has recently been quite upset about some fuzz caused my some [GM]Jcblue. Apparantly he banned them for no reason.

I find it hard to believe that [GM]Dave could get the "things you do" done without some litte wuzz going all crazy about it at the internet.

Either way. James; You're just sad.
No one gives a bloody damn if he's real or not. He gives them a laugh, and they like him for it. Just because your blog is a wast faliure dosen't mean that actually being the ass will help much.

I hightly doubt that this fella is real. But either way, [GM]Dave, you're a damn good writer, and should keep doing what you're doing.

"A Smithy's Life" is also great, even though I like [GM]Dave better. Somehow I can see myself in him. Go figure.

At 12:34 AM, Blogger Santa said...


You still don't get it do you, or do you need everything spelt out for you?

'Lord of the Rings' is fun and exciting and rewarding to read not because there's a real place called Middle Earth with real Elves and Numenors and Gandalf the White.

'Animal Farm' is thought provoking and also fun to read (for some at least) but you won't seriously think there is a real farm out there run with talking pigs, will you?

Perhaps you're still looking for that special closet that will take you the the land of Narnia, hmm?

You, sir, fail at life. fail at humour. fail at satires. fail at parodies. Go and read some to raise your intellectual skill by 0.1 or something.

And what's wriong with some RPing with the author of [GM]Dave? You have to take those like they were real as well and got all worked up.

You seriously tested out the THZero? OMG You, sire, fail. hard.

I feel bad for you, Valevor server.

Anyways, /RPon kudo for the blog, [GM]Dave! Keep em coming, and Jormungand happy ^^

At 3:17 AM, Blogger Animal said...

Anyone who even tries to argue whether or not [GM]Dave is a real GM or not needs to be fed to Jormy. They are too busy gleaming over their superior intellect (read: retardedness), to even get the point.

Please, just chokes yourselves.

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

Points of note:

1.) Wonderful use of insults on all sides, everyone. SOme actually came off with flair, but degrading to "Bitch" and "Gay" is worse than second grade. If you're going to pretend to be intelligent, at least be creative in your muck-slinging.

2.) Ask yourself: does it matter? Is it actually worth the time and effort you are putting in to type what you have to say? Naysayers, you will not convince the readers of this blog that [GM]Dave is fake. Blog readers, the skeptics will not be swayed. Also, does it ultimately matter if you're right or wrong, if people enjoy the blog?

3.)I saved this one for last because I believe that Dave is in fact legit. I have numerous friends in the RPG scene, several of whom game of these has managed to become a staff member of one of these online RPGs. The honest-to-whatever-god-you-worship-or-curse's-truth is that the stupid people (and even smart people who ask really *dumb* questions) almost universally outnumber the good players. These folks are power-hungry whiney munchkins and drama-addicted attention whores. If you've played an RP of any kind, you've run into these folks, and the temptation or desire to go Boondock Saints on their asses and just kill every one of them is powerfully strong.

For the staff and GM's, the temptation is even stronger, because they tools and capability is there. For a random irritated player, we can only wish a giant anvil labled "CLUE" would fall from the sky and land on the idiots. For the GM, the button labled "BAN" is there, and the kindness and softhearted-politeness usually stops them from abusing the power.

Not so with people who are just fed up with the idiocy. I believe the quote is, "I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

So, to me, [GM]Dave is living out my most macabre and darkest fantasies. To feed the loser that randomly pops up with "hi, im 15/m/ca wanna cybre?" or "IM a lEvEl 75% RM I 0wnz0r LOl!!11" to a dragon makes my sick imagination happy, makes my skin tingle, warms the sadistic, vengeful cockles of my heart. And let's be fair, I'm you're average gamer girl, 40-hour-a-week job, Yoga addict with a cat, a fish and a boyfriend (who ALSO has a job). Even I, a mere tresspasser in the world of gaming, have the strong urge to set someone on fire for being stupid.

Hell, I can't even tell you how many times I prayed a dragon would eat the vapid popular girls in my school.

So, cheers to you, [GM]Dave, whoever you are, wherever you may be. Let not the idle and empty threats of losers with no education or life outside of trying to prove their dick size on the internet sway you. Tell many a tale of stupidity falling to the swift Sword of Banning, the vengeful claws of hungry dragons, and the whimsical irritation of a GM. Embellish them, if you'd like, and I will dream that your stories are true. If not, I will remain happy, and if so, that's one fewer idiot on the game.


At 9:00 AM, Blogger Nipah said...

Best thing I've ever read... you should seriously get a job on WoW as well... God knows there are too many "special" people running around in that game as well...

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Raven said...

Firstly i'd like to say that I just came upon [GM]Dave recently, and have become a huge fan of this blog. It makes me laugh more than just about anything i've ever read before and all the stuff that you come out with Dave is just great.

Secondly, James, you fail at life. I say this for the fact that you've attempted to cause chaos in the ranks of Davism and all you've done is make it stronger while making yourself out to be the EMO ass that you are. Oh and nice job with that photo, i've seen alot of hack jobs in my times but yours goes up in my top 10 list.

I honestly don't know if [GM]Dave exists or not. It would be great if he did, personally I agree on his actions towards idiots like you and others James. The point is though, this blog is about letting people laugh and enjoy themselves, and that is what Dave has done.

Dave, I await more of your wonderful tales, and thank you for being here for the people. You have my deepest respect.

Screenname - Maura
Server - Fairy

At 10:03 PM, Blogger vegeta_lord_of_the_universe said...

Man! A friend of my husband's (yes, I'm a girl for those who are stumped. LOL!) told me about this blog and said it was hilarious! Boy, was he right! I'm with you [GM]Dave (even though that isn't your real name) these players shouldn't be so stupid! LOL! A Game Master is there for real emergencies, not trivial problems that could be solved by either becoming smarter...or simply asking another player... I mean, it's like calling 9-1-1 for a paper cut!!! *gives you a well-deserved pat on the back for sending the morons and cheaters for a little "special training" in dragon feeding!* It's about time someone got tough on these idiots! I don't even play the game in question, but I HATE STUPID PEOPLE AND CHEATERS! Keep up the good work!

At 11:16 AM, Blogger jp420 said...

Obviously a wannabe BOFH. Problem is, Dave, you're not even that original.

At 12:33 PM, Blogger Snakebyte1128 said...

An even 120 comments!

At 4:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, i'm just here to defend James and his friend. No, i'm not james, anyways, it's not funny to say such things and waste ur time reading about him, sure go and enjoy yourself, by the way, by saying that someone is a retard, means he really sucks at english. And anyways, the people that keep saying you fail at life! ya sure, you havn't meeted them yet. My brother gave me this adress, and i went in on it, and readed about the things James said. I can't really understand how you can defend [GM]Dave, you all know it's not for real, seriously. I think he's just a stupid fag never reached level 75 and kept bragging that he's a GM, i bet you heard a Gm's problem and decided to start a blogg about it, you can't say people fail at life, i mean wtf. Your working in a game for god sake. You're the one that fail at life. I bet most will defend [Newbie]Dave, and say that i fail at life etc. Sure say that, but it's not true. I have a wonderful life. By the way i'm from sweden, make up something about that, please. I mean you keep making up things, just make up something else about this post.

By the way Dave, you sir, fail at life. That ain't a lie anyways, sorry.
Gl with your thief or whatever class you're playing, james.
Be happy that you got so many comments, liar. Hope a girl rapes you, loser.

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Kaedetsuka said...

<.< xD T_T

At 5:41 AM, Blogger Mercurio said...

This is beautiful. I don't know what the kid's whole story is, but he probably deserved worse anyway.


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