Friday, April 21, 2006

A Serious Note

Sorry to disappoint you, but this will not be another episode of [GM]Dave's life.

I am seriously considering quitting this blog.

I love writing these stories. I probably laugh more than you do reading them. They're every weird, funny thought Ihave during the day put into story form, and I just love doing it.

But recent events have taken some of that joy away.

I was running ads on the top of both of my blogs to generate some additional revenue. It was not a lot of money, but it made the blog feel all the more worthwhile. Like I was making money doing something that I honestly enjoyed.

It was never about the money to begin with. I've been writing humor stories and posts on countless forums for years. These blogs simply offered a new outlet for my creativity. These blogs were just another way for me to entertain my fellow FFXI players and, hopefully, bring them a much deserved laugh.

They money was, however, cool. It felt like a form of feedback really on howmany people checked my blog each day. My funnier days, I seemed to generate more clicks. It was something I could use to understand how you liked or disliked the days update. As well, the ads didn't cost my readers anything.

The company that delivered those ads, however, has decided that I was attempting to generate false revenue by inflating the clicks on my ads. At least, that's what I got from the form letter e-mail I received telling me that all the money I had earned was being taken away for no apparent reason.

I've gone through the appeal process with no success. They've refused to give me any idea why my account is being closed or any proof of impropriety. Basically, it amounts to they have the money so they can take it away.

Unfortunately, this entire situation has left me with a sour taste in my mouth. It's kind of hard to come up with funny ideas after someone basically accuses you of cheating and then takes $100 on you.

As of right now, I don't know what's going to happen. I feel cheated and mistreated. I also don't really feel like being funny right now.

You never know. Maybe tomorrow, I'll wake up and feel like writing again. I really hope so.

If not, I'm glad you enjoyed this blog and I'm glad I was able to make your day just a little brighter for such a short time.

Remember, all of life's problems can be solved with a dragon.



At 4:30 PM, Blogger Kvasir said...

Aw, no way. Listen, I don't even play FFXI and your blog was entertaining as all holy hell! If you ever find the mood to write again, I look forward to it.

At 4:34 PM, Blogger Luto said...

you should like, put in a GM call to the ad people <_<

just hope you get someone nicer than yourself :P

At 4:38 PM, Blogger OryMcmoryson said...

Sorry to hear that. Your blog has brightened my days at work to the point where I have to stifle my laughter so that others don't think I'm odd. >.>

Hopefully the mood strikes you once again. You've made a lot of people laugh! Good luck with your situation either way.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger Dega said...

Since I play FFXI, and am a cry baby by default because of that, I would be tempted to start a petition directed towards blogger to un-nerf you. However, we all know shit like that will not matter, since Blogger is like SE apearantly. They give and take, for no reason at all.

For the sake of humanity, don't quit this blog. It's awesome to read, and has more then once brought tears of laughter to my eyes.

p.s. I just had to sign up¨to this shitty blogger website just to post this. Another good and viable reason not to quit this blog!

At 6:11 PM, Blogger Littlechaos said...

Aww dude, noooo T.T, /sad

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Sammy said...

Add Me to the List

Puns are hilarious, aren't they? (points upward)

So I'm sitting in front of my computer, enjoying my spring break, and writing another piece of nerdy fanfiction. I get to a really cheesy part that I know is going to be a bitch to write.

I have two options:
1.) Just get over the whole "super comeback transformation" scene and write the damn thing
2.) Ditch it and go read my favorite blog.

Many of you will probably know which I chose (grins)

And so, I get here, looking forward to laughing my ass off, as I usually do, and I see this:

"A Serious Note"

I know something's wrong.

After reading the post, I immediately know what to do...

GM-Fan Call Description: People are idiots. Help me.

Prepare for the worst.

[GM-Fan] Hello adventurers! How may I assist you?
[AdIdiot] What are you talking about? You're the on who called me...
[GM-Fan] ((I don't understand)) ((Please use the auto-translate function))
[AdIdiot] Huh? Are you on drugs?
[GM-Fan] No, but your wife is. She told me last night while I was
[AdIdiot] Was WHAT?
[GM-Fan] Oh, darn text limits. Can't write anymore.
[AdIdiot] Look, you bastard, what the hell are going on about?
[GM-Fan] ((Holy)) ((Breads and rice)) ((bat)) ((man))!
[AdIdiot] Who do you work for?!
[GM-Fan] Would you like me to refer you to our complaints department?
[AdIdiot] Damn straight!


Jormungand Jr. hits AdIdiot for 4,354 points of damage
AdIdiot was defeated by Jormungand Jr.

/em is very happy...

Well, dude, what can I say? I found your posts very funny, so I made this tribute post to you. Sorry people are such idiots. You rock my world.


At 6:30 PM, Blogger Parcifal said...

I can't belive how bad things always happends to good people, and definately you are on my good people list, you have this talent to make us all laugh.

I really pray everything turns out okay, it looks unlikely but i really hope so, this blog was the most awesome i've seen, i've shared it with as many people as i can.

Even if you quit the blog, dont ever , ever quit being funny, do another blog and tell me the adress.


At 6:31 PM, Blogger The Mithra Sisters said...

I am very sorry to hear about what has been going on. It seems that the majority of companies have been trying to screw their consumers and customers out of things lately. I surely hope that people respond to this post in particular, because this blog has brought me many laughs and keeps me smiling on those bad days (including the shit I go through in FFXI on a regular basis). If you want to really get at the company you are dealing with, you could always ask readers of this blog to sign a petition. I'm sure that there are plenty of readers out there that will openly support you. It's not right for things to end like this. One should never have to walk away from a project or something the love and be angry. I would jsut liek to conclude by saying that I wish you luck and really hope you come back to write more.

At 7:01 PM, Blogger Rich said...

It's a shame that these ad representatives are unaware of the incredible fan base your blog has generated in such a short time. The URL to this blog flew through every Final Fantasy XI forum faster than anything I've ever seen. It's no small wonder that you had such high click rates - damned near everybody playing this game knows about this blog.

With the expansion out, and XBox hooked in, there's a wealth of stupidity out there just waiting for your gentle touch. Ok, there's a ton of n00bs just waiting to be dragon feed.

I hope you decide to stick around. Oh, and don't feed to many of the newbies to the dragon - Goblin Smithy's going to get awfully bored if none of them make it to 30. :-)

At 8:22 PM, Blogger HTL2001 said...

were you using google ads? I had a similar incident, where just as I was about to get $100 (for those who have never used it, you must get to 100 before you can collect) and they just cut me off with a load of form letters. If the ads you were using were google ads, I may just want to start spreading the word on them...

Oh and don't stop please... this blog's been great. Just nothing more with Tak... thats worn out its funny unless you've got some new idea for him :)

At 8:38 PM, Blogger Mint said...

What is the company name and product? I'd really like to know what company never to patronize...

At 8:42 PM, Blogger Mortus said...

I, being not of the FFXI player base, know nothing about this game. I have, however, GM'ed before, and the things you write about are just about exact on what I wish I could have done half the time. This blog has such an incredible way of bringing both FFXI players and non alike together to enjoy a good laugh at the expense of idiots. I hope everything works out for you, and you can get back to writing without care.

At 8:49 PM, Blogger catwho said...

We would like to know the company -- the appeals may not work, but a lot of angry emails might have some effect. This was actually linked to me from a WoW friend who knew I played XI a lot more and thought I would appreciate it -- I responded by a barrage of screenshots showing my HNM getting eaten by the Complaints Manager. This not only rippled through the FFXI community, but the communities of many other MMOs who got a kick out of it even if they couldn't understand all the jokes.

At 9:02 PM, Blogger [GM]Takana said...

Sorry, English not good.
I hear problem, sad feeling I have.

Many GMs is many game come seen.


At 9:02 PM, Blogger jakinthebox said...

Dave (I am assuming this is your real name). I popped over here while having a couple (too many) drinks, just to get a drink, and received a rather sobering message.

HOW DARE YOU break the third wall (okay kidding).

In all seriousness, I am not going to give you the pat response of 'OMG I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THIS'. Everyone who has ever read your blog will say that.

But I'd like to let you know that this further cheered up/amused my FFXI experience.

As you can see, and WILL see, many people loved your blog. Not the ads that were placed at the top or bottom or your place. We came here because you managed to bring a smile and enjoyment to our daily lives, gamer or not.

You're an intelligent and well versed individual. And I would hate to see someone like you be beaten down by something like this (though after some sleep you may realize 'fuck it').

I think you're wicked awesome. GM or not, I don't care. It's obvious that you known the game, and do, in a way, enjoy it (the game that is. Whatever else you enjoy is your choice).

So no matter what, know that I did, DO, enjoy your Blog, as do so many other people (though they may not admit it, jerks).

Either way, look me up. My POL name is Isadora, name of Sofiel on the Siren server. I'd love to get a chance to say hi at some point. (and yes, I am a real girl).

All I can say in the end, however, is thank-you for your blog, [GM]Dave, and good luck with everything else.

((word)) ((Up)) ((Home point)).

At 9:07 PM, Blogger zug said...

Man that blows. I know exactly what you mean about how it's not really about the money, but knowing you're doing something you like and getting a little cash for it. It helps keep you motivated.

I also would like to know what service screwed you over so I know not to use for my site.

At 9:56 PM, Blogger Tuna said...

Dude, come on. Read the last 17 posts here. None of us want you to quit. As you said before, the money wasn't the reason you were doing this. Making people laugh is why you did it. Sure, you lost 100 dollars, but come on! If you stop now, you'll make 100s of people not laugh. I know I don't speak for myself when I say that I have literally laughed until I cried readint these posts. I have never read anything so funny in all my life, and it has brightened my day.
Please don't stop. In exchange for you not stopping, I'll let you feed me to a dragon! Hell, I'll even provoke it.

At 10:08 PM, Blogger Spublofe said...

Small claims court. Doesn't take much time, don't need a lawyer, and I've heard it can actually be a lot of fun if you're not an idiot. And I mean, if you threaten something like that, what are the chances they're going to follow through anyway?

At 10:32 PM, Blogger Sorencia said...

Well. This sucks. Don't give up so easily, man. I make it a point to visit this blog EVERY DAY and if you take away from my daily routine....I'll...I' a GM on you! >_>

In all seriousness, you make alot of people crack up, that is a real gift. Don't let some corporate monkey take that away from you, keep doin your blog!! /cheer

At 12:41 AM, Blogger Demandred Shedohen said...

God, you're an attention-whore. I love your blog, you're a very talented and funny writer, but if losing the money you made equates to losing interest in writing your blog, then you deserve it. I'm happy that you had the opportunity to profit from providing me with an otherwise free entertainment source, but maybe you shouldn't post until you feel a little less sorry for yourself.

Hope you feel better, Champ.

At 12:51 AM, Blogger Carrillo said...

Do what you need to do, and treat this incident as nothing more than a mere nuisance. Don't let this corporate meddling stifle your thirst for Dragon violence. You're too skilled a writer for you to allow these Advertisement stiffs' to cut you off from your passion.

At 1:57 AM, Blogger AJ said...

Do a 'South Park' as it were, and do a comedy blog against advertising companies. :)

At 2:27 AM, Blogger Mint said...

This is for the idiot with the handle: Demandred Shedohen, son, I bet you're the type who sends soup back at restaurants because it's too hot. Please shut up.

As a matter of fact, why don't you go play chutes and ladders with the other kids over there. Thats a good boy.

At 2:55 AM, Blogger Snuggleteddy said...

Snuggleteddy knows all about making money. Chicks dig rich guys.

Step 1) Get a paypal account (if you don't already have one.
Step 2) Edit your blogger templates to include a donate link
Step 3) Earn mad cash from rabid fanboys and fangirls

We all enjoy reading the comedic prose you share with us. Some of us would be happy to show our appreciation with cash. I bet you could easily get your $100 that Google stole from you, and you wouldn't have to be sending people to gilseller websites to get it.

At 2:55 AM, Blogger Nik said...

Now, let me get this right:

You've been generating business for others, and now that it's time for the payout they've accused you of falsifying that interest, and have refused/and demanded all THEIR money back?

I wonder how many people they've done that to.

If they're in the wrong and you can prove you're in the right, your appealing with another source of attack should go in your favour. But then again, if they're exceptionally good at what they do (as in, they do it so freakin'ly often they can screw people over in their sleep) then I'd give up on all future ads.
They can generate their own bloody publicity for their own damn business.

(Oh, now the blog itself ^.^) I was only introduced to it a few days ago, and have read every post. I love you, you know that, right? (grin) And I think all my female friends love you too. (Umm...did I say female? I meant 'all')
I'm sure you'll work out what you're going to do in time. Just be sure that it's the decision that's right for you. If you want to continue this blog as much for yourself, as for us, then we wont stop you :)

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Tsuki said...


At 4:46 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

I'd prefer not to name the company (though most of you already figuredit out).

And yeah, I was just about to hit the $100 minimum mark when they cut me off. It seems they do that to people with small accounts.

I really doubt I'm going to quit the blog. This just kind of took the wind out of my sails.

Also, to the person who suggested a paypal donate button, I considered that, but honestly I don't think I'm funny enough to warrant people giving me their money.

At 5:02 AM, Blogger Jirizo Reborn said...

OMG you write goblin smithy too! (sorry im a little slow, like pathfinder)

Well I just signed up for this site just so I could leave comments. Your the only reason I come to this site man. Dont leave. You have a hell of alot of fans who read your stuff everyday..

At 5:49 AM, Blogger Luto said...

Dave, come on dude. There's 29 posts here and soon to be more all for you telling you not to quit. Even that evil smelly gobbie, Smithy, got alot of comments.

At 6:26 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

it's's another comment telling u not to quit.

please don't quit :D

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

{GM} Dave,We all love your post...You are an incredibly intelligent person with a gift to make people smile,guffaw,or just plain ROAR with laughter!
I have shared you with all my friends on FFXI,as well as people I hang out with on MSN that know nothing about my game life(well...other than what I talk my head off to them about),and they love you too!
I had to make a GM call yesterday and was hoping it would be you to respond,but alas~dramatic sigh~ It was not...
The GM however was very nice and realy upset and the *blatant* use of hacks I was reporting,and I felt he took me seriously .
After spending the morning running from camp to freaking camp in my HNM LS,I was a bit discouraged seeing players magically warp in when a fellow LS member had JUST told us that the player had simply vanished from KA camp and was NOW at Sim camp! >.<
Being a stressfull morning(camping HNM's blows big time)He promised to investigate these players as he had many calls place about them specifically.
He asked*Is there anything else I can help you with today Fiercefairy?*
I replied..You can give me a GM hug...its been a long morning!
He laughed and *hug* me and wished me a wonderful day !^^
If you are ever on Titan server look me up ,I would love to simply chat with you for a few moments,if only to cheer you up!(and yes I am a female...which should be obvious in my demenor)
Do not stop writing you are great!

At 8:40 AM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

/em shows support for [GM]Dave

IF you continue and decide to post on another blog(type)-machine, would you let us know the link?

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Mango said...

heh, this is how the people you ban for no good reason feel probably ;x

At 11:52 AM, Blogger kochie said...


i sign up just to tell you
that i love ur blog

it's make me laugh
and smile
even it's tru or not
pls pls pls

At 1:25 PM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...


sorry dude. possibly shouldn't have linked you to my friends who are WoW GM's

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Tianshii said...

pantufla, you realize you're one of those people this blog makes fun of. As [GM]Dave might say, You fail at life. Have a nice day.

Keep up the funny writings! Call your local news meanies and see if they want to call out google for cheating the small people out of money.
If you keep up the blog, wonderful. I enjoy going into giggle fits @ work as I read. If not, thank you for the laughs^^ and I'll miss making this and Smithy part of my down-time reads.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

I'm going to research some other ad services, but I decided to take the advice of several posters and throw a Paypal donation button on both blogs.

I really doubt anyone will donate, but that's cool. I'm just going to write as the ideas come to me.

At 2:29 AM, Blogger Elec said...

Google Ads is a serious scam, you are far from the first people they have done this too. I am going to search the internet, there was a group of people who were contemplating a class-action against Google, let me see if I can find it for you.

At 8:08 AM, Blogger Nagan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:08 AM, Blogger Nagan said...

Karma's a bitch...

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Snuggleteddy said...

Prove [GM]Dave wrong, dudes.

Click on his paypal link.

Show him a little love, dudes, with money. He's probably out of Jack Daniels by now, and every $1 helps.

See, dudes, getting that nasty form letter of doom was a low point in his day - like getting a GM call. Dropping some cash in his tip jar would be a high point in his day - like feeding the person who called the GM to a dragon.

At 3:21 PM, Blogger cheesesux said...

Dave, I understand the sentiment. I kept getting told I wouldn't get paid for the 'work' I was doing at the local park too. I told them the paperwork was in the mail but you know how bureaucracies work...

If children could scare themselves then there wouldn't be a need for people in my line of work, but do you really see that happening any time in the future?

on a completely related note, my little woman here (actually my size, little joke there) is not a gamer of any sort but finds the utmost hilarity in your entries. I, as well, find them to be a healthy source of calcium (curse you milk, my hate for you has made me lactose intolerant in TWO ways now! but we'll see who has the last laugh...always trying to tempt me with cereal saying 'oh, it'll be ok this time, don't worry about it, no stomach cramps or farts I promise.' I'll see you in hell).

So she doesn't really get it but likes it, I get it and likes it. Where does that leave us? exactly, boycott the dairy industry:
I still got the farts and cramps..

also: I know a guy named Tak 0.o

At 1:50 PM, Blogger Blkdragongirl of Fairy said...

You are an inspiration. You bring hilarity to the daily happenings of our crapy economy and the justified consumption of nooblets. Please dont stop. I'm a little short this week but i did send you a dollar. I'll send more on payday. PLEASE DONT GO AWAY!

At 5:08 AM, Blogger Craig said...

I just wanted to say two things to you Dave, after discovering your blog today:

1) I love you. In a sincerely, solely platonic sort of way.

2) The company you're talking about, which Blogger actually tries to promote the use of, has had a history of doing this to customers. In fact, although I can't really post a link about it (since we're not saying the name), there has been a Class-Action lawsuit building against this company for its habit of doing this to people. I'm sure you can search more information online about it.

Take care!

At 2:31 PM, Blogger Quylein said...

I'll make the 45th comment. Viva la' revolution. Keep up the good work

At 12:49 PM, Blogger devnull17 said...

If any of what you've posted is remotely true, then isn't it ironic that you're now subject to the same kind of cruel abuse of authority that you perpetrate as a GM--of a system that allows for such injustice because its employees don't give a shit?

At 11:27 PM, Blogger PrestonWilcox said...

Out of all the entries I read, this one I found to be the most entertaining. Because

A:) I can actually picture one pissed off, unkempt, poor excuse for a soul sitting in his chair, eyeing his rolodex and wondering who to piss off next.

but it wasn't you.

It was the claims department of the ads you were running, and the said unkempt man smiling that he just made your life miserable.

It's truly a wonderful thing. I'm sure you didn't lose that much, but the fact that you lost anything is amusing, and I'm sure it'll happen again.

On top of that, the fact that you were seriously contemplating on quitting your blog was fascinating, though why you chose to continue is beyond me and somewhat abhorring (See: Disgusting).

BUT YOU DIDN'T. (See: annoying caps).

What little power you have to control the lives of those in your little world must be amazing to you. And I'm sure you take it as a microcosm to the macrocosm of your life.

I don't know you, so I can't really pass judgement anyway.

But I can say this.

It isn't some sort of karmic retribution, or "God" giving back to you what you've been giving to the FFXI community for a while.

This belongs in the "shit happens" folder.

But, the fact remains, shit happened to you.

And I feel very good about this.

I can only hope it happens again.

Oh, and we will meet very soon, I promise you.

Well, not in real life.

But I'm sure you'll recognize me when I send out MY GM call.

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Nick Pawson said...

oh, the irony.

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Nick Pawson said...

This comment has been removed by the author.


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