Bannable Offenses

A Meeting of Cultures

Alternate Title: "Lost in Translation"

One of the key aspects of Final Fantasy XI is that it is an MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game). This means that players from countless countries can come together in the same game in the spirit of cooperation.

It also means I have to deal with three times as many stupid people.

Now, GM calls are usually handled by a GM from the same country as the player placing the call. This helps with communication and customer satisfaction.

Plus, I get enough stupidity from the english player base.

Occasionally, however, I will receive a few GM calls placed by Japanese players.

I don't mind this. I bear no ill will toward the Japanese peoples. But stupidity in another language is still stupidity and must be treated accordingly.

So they get fed to a ryuu instead of a dragon. It all works out.

Early this morning, I was just about to end a late shift, when I got a call from a Japanese player.

GM Call Description: Suminasen, michi ni mayoi mashita. (( The Boyahda Tree )) e no ikikata o oshiete kudasai.

In case you don't speak Japanese, this roughly translates to "Excuse me, I am lost. Can you show me how to get to Boyahda Tree?"

Now, does that sound like an emergency? Does it sound like something to bother a GM over?

I don't care what language you speak, that was just plain stupid.

And stupidity must be dealt with.

[GM]Dave>> Ohayo gozaimasu. O genki desu ka?
Player>> Hai, genki desu. Anata wa?
[GM]Dave>> (( I'm sorry. )) (( I don't speak any Japanese. ))
Player>> (( I don't speak any English. ))
Player>> (( Please use the auto-translate function. ))

Here, I am faced with a choice. I can:
a) use the auto-translate function carefully to convey my ideas
b) use the auto-translate function to horribly frustrate this player

If you're reading this blog, I'm pretty sure you know the choice I made.

[GM]Dave>> (( word )) (( Up )), (( Home point ))!
Player>> (( What? ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Ready to start Skillchain. ))
Player>> (( I don't understand. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( I'll follow you. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( I'm playing solo right now. ))
Player>> Demarinasai.
Player>> Anata wa dame desu.
[GM]Dave>> (( That's interesting. ))
Player>> Urusai, baka yaro.

Now, I'm don't speak Japanese, but I know the important words (read: curse words).

This is unacceptable.

[GM]Dave>> (( Help desk )) (( Do you need it? ))
Player>> (( Yes, please. ))

*warp*

Jormungand hits Player for 10,825 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
Player falls to level 52.

Player>> Chikusho!
[GM]Dave>> (( Can I add you to my friends list? ))

Remember: stupidity is universal.

And so are dragons.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:48 AM