The Only Good Bot is a Dead Bot
There are no good bots.There are no bots that are acceptable by even the farthest stretch of the imagination. Any program you are running that performs game actions for you is evil.
And you are bad for using them.
Bad.
That's why I do not feel any remorse for dealing with (read: horribly mutilating) a botter/cheater.
And the excuses. Oh lord.
Here are just a few of the excuses I see every single day.
[GM]Dave>> You've been caught using a fishing bot.
Botter>> Uh, yeah... I had to use the bathroom
Botter>> So, I told my two year old to press the buttons
Botter>> But not answer any tells
[GM]Dave>> You've been caught using a Provoke script.
Botter>> Uh, yeah... I just tab through all the targets in the room
Botter>> At inhuman speeds.
Botter>> I'm just real fast is all.
[GM]Dave>> You've been caught using a speedhack.
Botter>> Uh, yeah... this isn't my computer
Botter>> This is my cousins computer
Botter>> And I totally didn't know that was there
Do you honestly expect anyone to believe you?
You just didn't notice that you were running at three times the normal speed. Surrrrrrre you didn't.
I would honestly prefer if a botter would just man up and tell me they were wrong and that they're sorry. That would be cool.
I might even not ban them.
Might being the operative word there.
But no. Every damned time, the stupid botter has to argue about how innocent they are.
Yesterday, I was called over to the Ga'Bhu Unvanquished spawn point in Beadeaux.
GM Call Description: Camping Valk Mask. Other player acting strange.
This I had to see.
I warp over and right away notice this guy absolutely losing it. It looked like he was having an epileptic seizure or something.
His head was snapping around so fast, I thought his neck was going to break or something.
[GM]Dave>> Hello there, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Are you okay?
Silence. Absolute silence.
*cricketcricket*
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you are having a seizure.
[GM]Dave>> I am going to evac you to a safer area.
So I warp him to Fafnir's spawn point.
[GM]Dave>> Don't worry. There's noone here.
*ROAR*
[GM]Dave>> 'Cept him.
A couple of key presses later and Fafnir has changed his name. To Ga'Bhu Unvanquished.
Do you see where this is going?
[GM]Dave>> Excuse me, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> But provoking Fafnir is counter productive.
Botter uses Provoke.
Fafnir hits Botter for 3,582 points of damage.
Botter was defeated by Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> I warned you.
[GM]Dave>> Here. Let me raise you.
[GM]Dave casts Raise on Botter.
Botter uses Provoke.
Fafnir hits Botter for 4,184 points of damage.
Botter was defeated by Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> Don't worry, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> We're going to do this until we get it right.
[GM]Dave casts Raise on Botter.
Botter uses Provoke.
Fafnir hits Botter for 3,881 points of damage.
Botter was defeated by Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> I can only do this four or five hundred more times.
Moral of the story: Botters get eaten by dragons.
So, later (approximately four hours later), the botter comes back from being AFK.
That was some bathroom break.
And he starts freaking out.
Botter>> OMG! Why am I level 30 again?
[GM]Dave>> It was weird.
[GM]Dave>> You kept on provoking Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> All 183 times I raised you.
Botter>> Why?
[GM]Dave>> Well, the legal reason is "Botters get eaten by Dragons."
Botter>> I wasn't botting.
[GM]Dave>> So you sat there and kept provoking Fafnir.
[GM]Dave>> For four hours.
[GM]Dave>> Solo.
Botter>> This isn't my computer...
Why are people so stupid?
Not regular people, mind you. Sadly, I usually only deal with the bottom of the remedial class, but damn.
If you bot, you are just asking to get fed to a dragon. You're asking for it.
Give a hoot. Don't bot.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:54 AM
3 Comments:
GM dave, please stfu, no one cares that you think your funny because you bust botters. Jesus, 40 old virgin much? go get laid, you obviously have too much time on your hands...lol...owned.
[GM] Dave, as far as I'm concerned, you bring justice to the stupidy in FFXI. You also do things like this, which almost made me laugh myself out of my desk at work. Honestly, everyone around me couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard... lol.
Great job!
Nice post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I'm impressed! Extremely helpful information particularly the closing phase :) I take care of such information much. I was looking for this certain information for a long time. Thanks and best of luck. νεκρά παιδιά Γερμανία
Post a Comment
<< Home