Bannable Offenses

GM Stands For...

Game Master.

Say it with me. GAME MASTER.

Now, anyone with half an IQ point would probably be able to figure out that I am here for gameplay emergencies. I mean, it just makes sense.

Even if it didn't make perfect sense, it's spelled out in the agreement you signed as well as they GM help screen. I'm here for emergencies. Whatever your current problem, I'm 99.9% sure that it isn't an emergency.

There's two people in this world who care about your problem:

a) you
b) not me

Basically, just don't call me.

Ever.

There may be dragon related violence if you do.

You should especially not call me for something so monumentally stupid that I want to drive to your house and beat you with your own keyboard.

But no. Every now and then (read: every third call), is so fundamentally idiotic that I must respond.

GM Call Description: How do I get to Kuftal Tunnel?

Seriously. Good lord. Does this sound like something that can be classified as an emergency?

I could have just banned this poor fool, but decided that that was too good for him.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand yu're having trouble finding Kuftal Tunnel.
Player>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> What's your highest level job?
Player>> Lvl 50 DRK
[GM]Dave>> Perfect.
Player>> Why?
[GM]Dave>> No reason.

Now anyone can just torture someone. I should know. But nothing is more painful than getting yourself into trouble.

[GM]Dave>> Well, there's one little problem.
Player>> What's that?
[GM]Dave>> I can only send people to their Homepoint.
[GM]Dave>> And your Homepoint is nowhere near Kuftal.

Wait for it.

Player>> Could you reset my hp near Kuftal.

Jackpot.

[GM]Dave>> I suppose I could try.
[GM]Dave>> That's a good idea.
Player>> Thanks, man.

I love irony.

[GM]Dave>> No problem.
[GM]Dave>> Okay, I've set your homepoint near Kuftal.
Player>> Thank you.
[GM]Dave>> Would you like me to warp you?
Player>> Yes, please.

*WARP*

Area: Cape Terrigan

Player>> How do I get to Kuftal from here?
[GM]Dave>> The zoneline is just over there a little ways.
Player>> Umm... everything here checks as incredibly tough.
[GM]Dave>> Well, they would.
[GM]Dave>> They're all way above your level.
Player>> But they'll kill me.
[GM]Dave>> Most likely, yes.
[GM]Dave>> But your hp is right here so you can try again.
[GM]Dave>> And again.
[GM]Dave>> And again.
Player>> Are you serious?
[GM]Dave>> Of course I am.
Player>> How am I supposed to get out of here?
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> GMs cannot answer gameplay related questions.
Player>> But you just did.
[GM]Dave>> I've also removed your ability to send tells.
[GM]Dave>> Good luck with that.
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?

I like helping people.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 4:06 AM