Bannable Offenses

Customer Satisfaction

As a GM, my first concern is always maintaining a high level of customer service.

Well... amusing myself usually comes first. Then customer service.

Wait... revenge is also very important. I do so love getting back at all of those RMT bastards.

So, it's revenge, then amusing myself, and then customer service. You guys are up near the top, at the very least.

To boost customer satisfaction, I decided to work through the pending GM call queue and try to find the problem that required the most assistance.

Call 1 was:

GM Call Description: I mailed myself something and it isn't here yet.

Not bad, but not life threatening. Maybe later.

Call 2:

GM Call Description: Still not here yet. Worried.

O... kay. He's upset. I get that. But it'll have to wait.

Call 3:

GM Call Description: Someone shouting in Jeuno.

Shouting in Jeuno? Well, will wonders never cease. Next thing you know, they'll have lag too.

Moving on.

Call 4:

GM Call Description: Item still has not yet arrived. Where is it?

Apparently, he is unable to wait. I'll handle this quick then.

[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry your item is taking time to arrive.
[GM]Dave>> There can be lag between sending and arrival.
[GM]Dave>> To make up for this, we are sending you a special promotional item.

Note to self: send incendiary device to player 839964.

I like solving problems.

Then Call 5:

GM Call Description: 北アメリカの馬鹿はお金を盗んだ

Must... resist...

[GM]Dave>> (( I'm Sorry. )) NA PT Only.

Note to self: work on self control.

On to Call 6:

GM Call Description: Problem with [GM]Dave

Let me read that again.

GM Call Description: Problem with [GM]Dave

Someone up there must really like me.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer.
Player>> ... uh... Hi.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you filed a GM call.
Player>> Yeah, I did.
[GM]Dave>> Quick question:
[GM]Dave>> Do you know the definition of irony?
Player>> I want to file a complaint against you.
[GM]Dave>> Would you like me to direct you to our complaints manager?

*GLEE*

Player>> No.

*unglee*

Player>> I want to speak with a Senior GM.
[GM]Dave>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> How senior?
Player>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Well, Fred here is like 85.
[GM]Dave>> But he mostly mumbles to himself.
Player>> I want to speak to a supervisor.
[GM]Dave>> Oh. Hold on.

Logout. Create character. Log in.

[SGM]Dave>> Can I help you?
Player>> I don't want to talk to you. Get someone else.
Player>> Get me YOUR supervisor.
[SGM]Dave>> No problem. Let me get him.

Logout. Create character. Log in.

[SGM]Evad>> Hi there. I'm not [GM]Dave.
[SGM]Evad>> I'm someone else.
Player>> ...
Player>> You're not going to get a supervisor are you?
[SGM]Evad>> What do you mean?
[SGM]Evad>> /em is not [GM]Dave.
[SGM]Evad>> Can I help you?

Tell cannot be sent. Recipient has logged out, uninstalled the game, disassembled their computer, and has moved to another country.

Now, this may just be me talking, but he seemed satisfied didn't he?

I'm all about customer service.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 2:34 PM