Bannable Offenses

A GM's Normal Day

Some people have asked me what it's like to be a GM. To play an RPG you love and get paid for it.

Yeah, it's pretty great. If it weren't for the players, this would be the greatest MMORPG ever.

Here's a breakdown of a normal 8 hour shift as a GM.

9:00 am

Log in and check GM call queue.

186 GM Calls Pending.

9:01 am

Logout and go get coffee until swearing stops.

Pop first two aspirin of day. Take with coffee.

9:05 am

Log back in and check GM call queue.

207 GM Calls Pending.

Start to wonder how hard it would be to do a server wipe.

9:06 am

Start first call.

9:15 am

Logout to smash head against wall.

Take sip of whisky from carefully hidden bottle in desk.

9:20 am

Log back in and start second call.

9:30 am

Logout and take a larger sip of whisky.

Start to mumble to self.

9:50 am

Log in again and take third call.

10:05 am

Logout and erase GM call queue.

Then erase it again just to ensure that no stupidity remains.

10:10 am

Lunch.

And by lunch, I mean drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.

1:00 pm

Log in and check GM call queue.

142 GM Calls Pending.

Giggle to self and send all accused and accusers to Mordion Gaol.

Warp Tiamat to Mordion Gaol.

More whisky.

2:00 pm

Drinking openly at my desk.

2:30 pm

Check GM call queue.

229 GM Calls Pending.

Take two more aspirin. With whisky.

2:31 pm

Start answering calls.

3:00 pm

Logout of GM character.

Log in as main character. Farm for two hours or until the throbbing headache subsides.

Consider ending own life.

5:00 pm

Finished working. Go home to play for 8 hours.


And there you have it. That's a standard GM day.

Note to self: buy more whisky

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 4:25 AM