Friday, March 05, 2010

And Then Susan Got Mad... - Vol. 7

This one... This one happened not too long ago.

I've still got the bruises.

Susan and I were up and getting ready for work. We'd both been working really hard lately and we were very tired. Our daughter was all packed up and ready to go to the babysitter's, when the phone rang.

It was Susan's work. There was some sort of water problem and they were going to be closed for the day.

She, of course knowing that I would have killed to have the day off, tried to be as nice as possible.

Susan>> You've got to work and I don't.
Susan>> You've got to work and I don't.
Susan>> You've got to work and I don't.

The entire rest of the time I was getting ready, she just walked around and told me all of the stuff she was going to do that day. Since our daughter had to go to the babysitter's anyway, she had planned an entire day of gaming and television.

I handled it maturely.

[GM]Dave>> I hate you.
[GM]Dave>> I really F&%@ing hate you.

It wasn't the day off that bothered me.

Okay... That bothered me a little.

What bothered me the most, though, is the way she was rubbing it in my face, constantly reminding me that she got the whole day off and I had to go back to the spice mines.

That wasn't like Susan.

That was like me.

And, because I'm a giant freaking hypocrite whenever it suits me, she would have to pay dearly.

I left for the day and quickly rushed to the office after dropping the little girl off. When I got to my desk, I set down my stuff, logged into my account, and then sent Susan's character to Mordion Gaol.

For no reason.

Maybe she wouldn't figure out what happened.

Susan>> Dave...
Susan>> This isn't funny.

So, she knows it was me. So what? I'm not scared of my wife.

She isn't behind me, is she?

Now, I'd like to say that I only kept her in jail for a little while as a sort of practical joke.

Not really.

Actually, I kept her there for roughly 8 hours.

Hey! That's how long my shift was. Isn't that a funny coincidence?

She probably went to watch some TV during those 8 hours.

Did I mention I put a password on the television so that it won't change channels?

From the e-mails I got from her that day, I assume she figured that out.

Eventually, after an entire 8 hour work day was behind me, I hopped in my car and drove home. Oh, how we'd laugh about it, my little practical joke.

Susan had a joke, too.

Her joke went something like "I'm going to punch you in your face."

Right as I opened the door, boom, right in the nose.

Luckily, she hits like a girl.

Oh, she didn't talk to me for days afterward and, even then, it was only long enough to tell me how much she wanted to murder me.

[GM]Dave>> Morning, honey.
Susan>> I'm going to kill you.

You could feel the love.

She got over it eventually. I guess she decided that it wasn't such a big deal and that, just maybe, she blew it out of proportion. It was totally forgiven.

Until the next time I did it.


At 9:42 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Oh c'mon Dave, thats HARSH

At 1:49 AM, Blogger Andrew said...

Harsh... but funny!

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Leut said...

I'd have left the channel locked on something like porn. Never know...she might have learned some new tricks.

As far as the game goes, I'd have left a copy of WoW in the computer for her to entertain herself with since she wouldn't be able to play a good game.

At 6:23 AM, Blogger Thomas William said...

"She got over it eventually. I guess she decided that it wasn't such a big deal and that, just maybe, she blew it out of proportion. It was totally forgiven.

Until the next time I did it."

Instant WIN!

My life in short....

GM Dave for President!

At 12:48 AM, Blogger E+G said...

I'm not so sure he survived those posts...

At 6:04 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

Jeez Dave, I wonder how far this argument would go: "hey, you saw what i did to my mother... right? be thankful. i was merciful... but only because you're my wife."

and if you're feeling bold, you could always throw the "now get in the kitchen and make me some brownies" line in there...

hell that could be your line from now on. "susan... one word: brownies."

still though dave, you keep blocking her from playing ffxi, and she might cheat on you again with mister WoW... and we wouldn't want THAT now would we?

At 9:14 AM, Blogger Poseidon said...

Hey I have an FFXIV blog so I was wondering if you wanted to cross promote. Here is the link:

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Lorthic said...


New tricks like... How to make his dick disappear.

For good.

At 3:09 AM, Blogger Bairdos said...

I get the feeling Dave has been killed...

Too many terrible feelings were stirred to Susan's surface, causing her to explode in a fit of rage...

RIP Dave, you'll be missed :(

At 6:30 AM, Blogger Duncan7 said...

Uh, Dave... Did you remember to pick up your daughter on the way home?

At 12:02 AM, Blogger Shade said...

If he indeed was killed, then the twisted murderer is sending out fanpacks in his name!

what a sick bastard^^

At 10:40 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Twelve days without Dave!
-head explodes-
You're supposed to punish people so I can live through you, and not kill people on my end ; ;

At 5:03 AM, Blogger Zaol said...

Day 13 since the dissapearance of Dave.things is starting to look grim. the moral of the camp is sinking ever faster, and if this continues i fear i might be forced to look for an other form of entertainment. dark legacy comics seems more and more tempting by each passing day...

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Kimberly-Ann said...

He musta pissed her off good this time by posting all this >_<

At 6:31 PM, Blogger Lorthic said...

Come on, Dave... 2 weeks? I'm going NUTS here.

At 7:41 PM, Blogger Nite_Lite said...

Heh heh. I enjoy these.

But hey, has Susan ever made you mad about something?

At 6:49 AM, Blogger GG. said...

The article has a lot of interesting information.
Dentist near me


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