Sunday, December 20, 2009

How Not To Be Retarded - Vol. 3

Shut The F&%@ Up

Let me sum up one of the most important rules in not being a retarded player.


Shut your goddamned mouth.

See? That wasn't so hard. All you have to do is not talk ever and you will succeed admirably in not being retarded.

What? You don't think this is good advice?

You think that MMORPGs are supposed to be social games and you're supposed to talk?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, sure. They put the whole text chat thing in there. It was designed so that you could talk to other players.

Go ahead. Tell them what you had for lunch. Ask them if they saw that new movie. Whatever.

Just don't bitch.


If you're in a group, then you chose to be in that group. If you're not happy, you then choose to leave the group.

That's it. You don't bitch and moan and complain. You don't tell people how to do their jobs or how much better your last party was and how you got fifty jillion exp an hour with other groups.

You're in a party. You're in an alliance. You're in a mission group.

That means shut the F&%@ up.

You're not offering anything to the group. No one is going to thank you for your keen insight and helpful criticism. All you're going to do is piss people off.

Great. Now, your bad group is a bad, AWKWARD group.

Always fun.

Good job. You're still not getting 26,000 exp an hour, but now everyone knows just how terrible they are.

That'll motivate them.

I'm not sure what happens to people's brains when they join a party or group. It's like they lose the ability to leave that group of their own accord.

No, instead you have to bitch about everything. Like you're going to fix it or something.

You wouldn't do this in real life. If you were at a party that totally sucked, you wouldn't go around the room and tell people off.

Okay, I would, but I'm not you.

You'd get up and leave, right? You'd go find a better party or just go home.

That is exactly what non-retarded people do when confronted with a bad group. You find a better group or you go do your own thing.

It's like sex. Telling someone how bad they're doing isn't going to help the situation. At all. You're better off finding a new partner or just doing it yourself.

Also, it's better with six people.

Seriously. Just save everyone the headache and disband. Things didn't work out, but maybe you can salvage your day and find another party.

Or not.


Just as long as you're not bitching.


At 9:33 PM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

You know who's good at bitching? Managers.

They do all the things you just mentioned. Maybe when they go home they log in FFXI...

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Shinji said...

Well.. I still havent met a leader from a HNM LS, or NM LS, or Dynamis LS, or whatever event LS, that cant STFU when they are leveling out of their schedules.. Shit is irritading when you are leveling a new low level job, you invite em to your party, or someone else in your party invites em and its like you have a freakin' LS event coordinator telling EVERYONE in the party what to do, when to do it, how to do it, .... Its a freakin' EXP party man!... We still dont have many skills at level 11!!... Its alot worst when that person is your leader of whatever high level LS and you REALLY are trying to find nicer words then callin him a total douchebag..

At 10:38 PM, Blogger Sparf said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 10:39 PM, Blogger Sparf said...

I say extend this to life. Nothing bakes my clams faster than seeing someone yell at someone over a mistake.

Fast Food customers and low-level retail customers take note.

At 3:01 AM, Blogger Rob said...

It's not so much the bitching as the "experts" that get to me, especially in the low level areas.

When you're in Qufim Island, 5 well-geared people with at least 5 75s each to their names and that one RDM23/WAR05 telling everyone else how to do their jobs...

/pcmd leave
/ma "Warp"
/invite on

At 7:15 AM, Blogger nkelly1968 said...

People should especially shut up when a question doesn't apply to them. Every time my Dyna LS lead asks "who has BRD75" or "Who has Dyna-Tavnazia Acceess", half the freaking people in the linkshell have to say "I don't", or "I need Qufim win" or "I have 15 BRD, want me to change?". Just STFU; if no one says "Yes", the answer is clear.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

Ok, i think i got this down. if there's a jerk in the party who won't shut up, here's what you do: /tell everyone that you're about to teleport vahzl with the douchebag for a xarcabard exile and to be sure to disband before the spell completes. leave the bastard in xarcabard and warp back. does this waste time? yes. will your party gladly wait for you to come back because that was funny as hell? absolutely. can't that jerk warp back too? sure, but it's the principle of the matter. and with any luck, they'll call a GM. a certain bloodthirsty GM with a purple dragon pet. try not to think of it as making more work for dave. think of it as "you didn't follow dave's guide on how to NOT be retarded. therefore, you get the F-U from the players AS WELL AS the GMs." they'll never play again, and that's what it's all about isn't it? :)

At 10:27 PM, Blogger Shiroitsubasa said...

just thought i'll share something

A month back or so.. had a Mire party PLD DRK RNG COR BRD RDM

Everything started out great.. we were killing pretty fast. XP was flowing in for like the first 5 min. Then shit happens. The COR was the puller. (Happens to be my GF) Doing a fine job pulling the mobs.. but the one thing she didn't do was use Evoker on the RDM. She said that she'll give evoker roll when the RDM needs it, but the RDM get all pissy and goes on saying how he has other COR pulling and be able to give Evokers and such. (p.s my GF and I have made countless Mire party with her COR as puller and using Evoker when needed and nvr had a problem.) As a matter of fact, the RDM rarely ever goes below 200mp and had never once needed to convert yet. But he kept bitching in party chat, up to the point until he didnt cure the PLD and PLD died. And of course who does he blame? the COR.

So what do we do? We disband. I know we could have just given him Evoker and shut him up, but it's a matter of principle ;)


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