Our WorldI had an epiphany a few minutes ago that I just wanted to share with you.
We run shit.
I know that I've talked about our internet culture running the entire world, but it was always in a sort of half-joking, comical sarcasm. While I do believe we are the driving force in the background of modern life, you could argue that we still have not taken the forefront.
You could have argued that.
Then... Then something interesting happened.
I was watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with Susan. You know, sitting there criticizing all of the girls about how silly they looked.
Totally not thinking about licking chocolate syrup off of them.
And then something amazing took place: a commercial came on.
I know. Commercials come on all of the time. This isn't exactly cracking the Da Vinci Code or anything here. You're watching an hour long commercial that is interrupted briefly for other commercials.
Big deal, right?
No, it was what the commercial was about.
The parade of beautiful women wearing entirely uncomfortable looking undergarments was paused ever so briefly for a commercial about...
That's when it struck me. Holy freaking shit, I was right. The internet does run everything.
Tits, ass, and bacon. That's what we do.
Throw in Chuck Norris wearing a Three Wolf Moon shirt with Rick Astley singing in the background and that's the entire internet.
Sure, you could say it was just a coincidence. You could say that it was just a random occurrence.
You could say that a bacon producing company paid an obscene amount of money to get their advertisement played during a popular television event.
That was us.
That was us telling the rest of the world that we got this. This is our world now.
Sit back and watch your football and your reality TV. Sit back and watch your made for TV movies and your daytime talk shows.
We're the ones controlling that shit.
And when we get around to getting rid of all of that inane garbage, they'll thank us. They'll stand up in their living rooms and give thanks for their new internet overlords for we will usher in a new era of prosperity for humanity.
Except replace "prosperity" with "tits, ass , and bacon".
It's a brave new world.