Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Our World

I had an epiphany a few minutes ago that I just wanted to share with you.

We run shit.

I know that I've talked about our internet culture running the entire world, but it was always in a sort of half-joking, comical sarcasm. While I do believe we are the driving force in the background of modern life, you could argue that we still have not taken the forefront.

You could have argued that.

Then... Then something interesting happened.

I was watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with Susan. You know, sitting there criticizing all of the girls about how silly they looked.

Totally not thinking about licking chocolate syrup off of them.

Totally not.

And then something amazing took place: a commercial came on.

I know. Commercials come on all of the time. This isn't exactly cracking the Da Vinci Code or anything here. You're watching an hour long commercial that is interrupted briefly for other commercials.

Big deal, right?

No, it was what the commercial was about.

The parade of beautiful women wearing entirely uncomfortable looking undergarments was paused ever so briefly for a commercial about...


Yes, bacon.

That's when it struck me. Holy freaking shit, I was right. The internet does run everything.

Tits, ass, and bacon. That's what we do.

Throw in Chuck Norris wearing a Three Wolf Moon shirt with Rick Astley singing in the background and that's the entire internet.

Sure, you could say it was just a coincidence. You could say that it was just a random occurrence.

You could say that a bacon producing company paid an obscene amount of money to get their advertisement played during a popular television event.

But no.

That was us.

That was us telling the rest of the world that we got this. This is our world now.

Sit back and watch your football and your reality TV. Sit back and watch your made for TV movies and your daytime talk shows.

We're the ones controlling that shit.

And when we get around to getting rid of all of that inane garbage, they'll thank us. They'll stand up in their living rooms and give thanks for their new internet overlords for we will usher in a new era of prosperity for humanity.

Except replace "prosperity" with "tits, ass , and bacon".

It's a brave new world.


At 8:39 PM, Blogger S.T.Penn said...

Hmm...quite an unusual post Dave. But in fact, I can see where you're coming from too.

Really makes you think...maybe, just maybe...

At 9:05 PM, Blogger phillip said...

Just one question? In this world of tits, ass, and bacon. Who will be king?

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

The chick dressed in bacon with a great rack and junk in her trunk?

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

"Just one question? In this world of tits, ass, and bacon. Who will be king?"

Rupert Murdoch

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Daniel said...


At 12:58 PM, Blogger mepsipax said...

MMMMM bacon

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Leut said...

You know what would go good with bacon?

Jack Daniels?

How about every-friggin-thing in the wurld.

Chuck Norris produces bacon from his sweat glands.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger Blueyez said...

I think this is an advertising company who knows it's market.
Naked women + bacon = millions of hetero male viewers.

At 9:00 AM, Blogger kirby said...

Don't forget about Vegeta and the ninja cat.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger Custom said...

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At 10:54 AM, Blogger Jaredu said...

I for one like helping being one to control the world.

I.E., I quit watching TV. I run adblock plus and need not see that tempting scrumptious bacon.

I post about more interesting things, not crap-related.

For example, I saw this today and Immediately came to this blog. It reminded me of you.


At 11:59 AM, Blogger Blog Editor said...


As this is the most recent bacon related post, I must direct you to Monday 12/14/09's blog of note. In that post, there was reference to a Bacon Cake.




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