Saturday, December 19, 2009

How Not To Be Retarded - Vol. 2

Know How To Play Your Job

There are a wide variety of jobs in FFXI. Hell, pretty much every MMORPG is full of job classes that offer any sort of experience you may desire.

You want to be an Elvaan Warrior? Cool.

You want to be a cat girl black mage? Sure.

You want to be a half-vampire, half-werewolf, half-duck wizard?

... I'm sure it's out there somewhere.


Yes, that depresses me, too.

You are entirely free to choose any job, career, profession, and life that you want. You can carefully consider each class's strengths and roles and find the perfect job for you, one that matches your play style and personality.

Doesn't that sound nice?

That sounds nice.

And all we ask is that you figure out how to play that job.

It's not hard. A little bit of internet research, browse through a few forums, and boom! You're an expert.

Okay... Maybe not an expert. But you can probably not get your entire group horribly murdered by ugly monsters with pointy things.

Oh, the pointy things.

Just a little bit of work.

That's not so much to ask, is it?

And yet, it isn't the exception, but the norm that you run into people who are either:

a) too ignorant
b) too stupid
c) both a and b

pretty much every single time you join a group.

Yeah, sure. You had this group just the other day that ran beautifully. Everyone worked together and did their jobs. You made tons of exp and a fun time was had by all.


That didn't actually happen. That was a dream you had after you cried yourself to sleep. In reality, your party took four hours to get started because one guy had no idea what kind of gear or items he needed and then disbanded ten minutes later after two consecutive party wipes because of that guy.

Seriously. That's what happened.

Or you were that guy.

In that case, good job, champ. You're a credit to whatever trailer park you call home.

It's really not that hard to learn how to play your job properly. I'm not suggesting you devote your entire life to studying the arts of the Bard, but at least get the freaking basics down.

You know, you COULD devote your entire life to it. That is an option.

That would totally work for me.

Then, I wouldn't have to spend the majority of parties wondering exactly what the barrel of a gun would taste like.

Sure, your life would fall apart, the tattered pieces of your humanity burning in the fires of your gaming obsession, your entire existence reduced to being a puppet for my game playing needs.

Take one for the team.

The team being me.

When you log in and choose that job, even if you're only trying it out for shits and giggles, you are agreeing to learn that shit. You are agreeing to work your ass off until you are an ass-kicking machine.

That's why it's called a job.

Yeah, yeah. You're only playing a game. You only want to have fun.

Bullshit. You want fun, go play outside or something.

Or in traffic.



At 12:30 AM, Blogger Justin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:31 AM, Blogger Shinji said...

Back in the days (And maybe now still) the nightmares we pretended to change to positive may still live in Valkrum Dunes.

At 2:34 AM, Blogger dragonsvsvampires said...

urgh. Valkurm dunes? please don't talk to me about that.

I was happy to get BLM to 60. Now I have AM and can solo efficiently... And if I kill myself it is my own fault.

Of course meleeing the odd DC mob is fun too. But again, only on my own. And with the knowledge on how to do it it isn't that bad :)

At 5:27 AM, Blogger Jakk Frost said...

Of the people that this post refers to, 99% (give or take a % or two) of the blame for their lack of anything remotely resembling a clue can be laid directly at the feet of PL'ing.

Who needs to learn how to do their job when all they have to do is whack away at the mob with the closest branch, stick, or piece of driftwood at hand while that level 75 rdm tosses unlimited cure 2's at you.

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Costin said...

Players like the one you describe are not retarded ( that would be a insult to people who are really retarded ) they are far FAR worse then that...

I am still amazed by the fact people can stay they want to have fun when they fuck it seriously.

I REALLY don't understand how FUN for them translates to dieing, If that is fun for them then humanity should be killed.

I for one never took the game too seriously, I always played for fun ( A.K.A preferring not to wipe in parties ) in the end before I quit I had some of the best gear in game so ye....

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Costin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:05 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

Paladins provoke?

Why should I do that?


GTFO of my party ass!

At 9:38 PM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

You know Dave, if you got rid of all the morons in FFXI, you wouldn't have a job.

If you got rid of all the morons on Earth...society would collapse. we need those morons to do mediocre, and menial work retail.

We need these sheep provide for us all the necessities of our modern industrial lifestyle. And also to manage us appearantly. Managers aren't big on critical thinking...

At 2:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

instead of how not to be retarded maybe your next theme can be how not to be so ignorant. who uses the word retarded anyone? so wrong.

At 9:53 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

"You want fun, go play outside or something.

Or in traffic.


Best words of advice ever.

I think i agree with hannahj. there's ur next lesson dave. be humble. i don't care if you've played your job since ffxi launched. there are still some things i'm sure you could learn about it. even *gasp* from someone who's 60 levels below you. nobody likes a know-it-all. the moment you display your arrogance and condescend people, that's the moment that we tanks "forget" to voke when the mob attacks you, or the healers cast haste and "forget" to heal you before you're booted out of the party (or everyone gets the tell about dropping party JUST before the teleport to vahzl to leave your ass stranded there).

At 10:11 AM, Blogger Andi said...

I like how the above two posters felt like it was important to leave insulting comments on a blog that they read voluntarily in the first place. That's like sticking your finger in a light socket and getting MAD that you get electrocuted. No one made you do it. You didn't have to read it. You don't like the blog, you go somewhere else and we don't have to listen to your pointless ramble. And I can't count the number of parties I wind up in where I wish that one guy out of six (or two - or three in the most dire cases) wouldn't just shut the hell up. The pointless bitching in a party scenario NEVER helps. That's why I prefer to lead. My party members wind up with a bitching jackass? That group suddenly has a miraculous free slot open. I don't put up with much.


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