I'm ConfusedToday's port could be considered political and/or controversial in nature.
It really isn't, but I allude to topics that some people might find political and/or controversial if they had nothing better to do with their time than try and start shit over things that aren't actually political and/or controversial.
Thus, I present to you a warning: if this does not seem like your cup of tea, feel free to leave and come back tomorrow. You could pretend I wrote something about retarded Dark Knights and the feeding of said retarded Dark Knights to Jormy.
Oh, that Jormy.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Okay, if you're reading this, then you've decided to take the red pill and see how far down the rabbit hole really goes.
Not really, but it means you're willing to not bitch in the comments.
I'm serious. This is a legally binding agreement that should you try and start some political shit in the comments, you are willing to have your ass kicked.
Do I need to go put my ass kicking shoes on?
Natalie Portman is retarded.
I don't mean that in the cute "oh, she does something slightly inane so I'll call her retarded" way I may ascribe to other people. This girl is full on, reduced mental ability, makes no goddamned sense retarded.
That's the bad kind of retarded.
That's the kind of retarded that makes [GM]Dave very, very angry.
It also makes him write blog posts with an excessive usage of the word "retarded."
And talk in the third person.
Now, what could make me say something like that about Ms. Portman? Surely, someone so freaking hot couldn't possibly be THAT retarded.
Yeah, they can.
They really, REALLY can.
And I'm not even talking about the new trilogy.
No, Ms. Portman decided to throw down about eating meat. Apparently, she is something of a vegetarian (perhaps related to her having the IQ of a carrot) and decided the best way to handle her feelings about eating meat was to pick a fight over it.
Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against vegetarians. By all means, you feel free to eat whatever the hell you want.
Broccoli? Sure. Why the hell not?
Just don't start shit with us about eating meat.
Those are your opinions. You are welcome to them.
You are also welcome to keep them to your freaking self.
And how did Ms. Portman pick a fight? Did she talk about the health benefits of vegetarianism versus meatitarianism?
No, she compared eating meat to rape.
Yeah. I'm not sure exactly how her parents tried to teach her how to eat meat, but I'm sure a social worker should look into that.
This... Well, this type of hyperbole would be reason enough to call her retarded. Frankly, I think it very clearly makes my case.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
Hyperbole doesn't bother me too much. I've kind of gotten used to stupid people saying things that border on monumentally idiotic.
Part of the job. You have no idea how many people tell me that they will tear SE to the ground if I ban them.
No, hyperbole doesn't bother me.
So, Ms. Portman thinks that eating meat is morally wrong. She thinks it is terrible and disgusting and even goes so far as to compare it to rape.
Do you know what she's oddly okay with? Actual rape.
It seems Natalie Portman is one of the many actors and celebrities that have come out in support of Roman Polanski, a man convicted of raping a child.
Yes, I said "in support of".
What's she really trying to say? Eating meat is like rape, but rape is okay?
Is she actually encouraging eating meat in possibly the worst method ever conceived?
I don't expect crazy people to not say crazy things. They are, after all, crazy. It kind of comes with the job.
The one thing I do expect is a certain consistency to the crazy.
If you're screaming crazy shit all over the place, you should at least make sure that what you're yelling actually works together.
Two wrong don't make a right, but two crazies sure can make a retarded.