Games I HATE - Vol. 6DDR Games
This game/post is probably going to require some sort of asterisk because I really don't hate the game at its most basic level. While I can't say I'm a big fan of the series, I can at least see why someone else might find it fun.
But here comes the asterisk...
I hate this freaking series because of the players.
I know. [GM]Dave hates people? Somebody call Ripley's.
DDR players take all the fun out of actually playing the game. They stand there, faces blank and legs flying haphazardly, watching arrows scroll up the screen and their humanity slowly drain away.
They're the human equivalent of fishing bots.
I have actually seen people at arcades watching these cold robots dance and turn away from the game almost afraid to even try playing it, fearing for their mortal souls.
As they should lest they end up another DDR automaton, a meat puppet dancing to obscure techno music.
I'm sure the game requires a great deal of talent. You probably need an incredible sense of rhythm and timing.
That still doesn't keep people from looking absolutely retarded when they play.
DDR is a fun game. It was meant to be a fun game.
Unfortunately, people do what people always do with shit like this. They take it too damned far.
A game becomes a distraction.
A distraction becomes a hobby.
A hobby becomes an obsession.
An obsession becomes you standing in your living room with your legs flailing like you were Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance memorizing arrow patterns until your eyes bleed.
The worst part is there's really no winning the game. There's nothing to show for your hours and hours of work other than legs the size of tree trunks.
Oh, oh. You got letter grades.
That'll impress people.
There's no career mode, no band. You didn't save a princess or defeat a bunch of other people. You didn't save the world from unfathomable evil or even solve a freaking puzzle. There was no strategy, no technique.
You just stepped on some arrows.
You don't even have some cool snazzy gear to show for it.
I mean, come on.
What's the point? What is the freaking point of this game?
Even Tetris, goddamned Tetris, had a point. At least you had to think and strategize even the smallest amount.
Imagine if you simply had to push down as soon as the block appeared.
DDR is basically Simon set to bad music.
Red, Blue, Yellow, Red, Red, Green.