Games I HATE - Vol. 3Superman Games
What is so hard about this really?
He's freaking Superman.
We've got games about people who can fly. We've got games about people who are super strong. We've got games about people who shoot lasers out of their eyes.
Hell, we've got superhero games with people who can fly, are super strong, and can shoot lasers out of their eyes.
This would seem to be a no-brainer.
I could go buy a brand new copy of City of Heroes right this minute and make a character exactly like Superman.
Exactly like him.
And the game would work. I could fly around a generic city and beat up generic villains and have generic adventures.
But it would work.
For some freaking reason, they can't make this work with an actual Superman game.
WHY THE HELL NOT?!
I'm a big Superman fan. I think it has a lot to do with us being so similar.
Rugged good looks? Check.
Last surviving member of his species? Well, if those guys in R & D can get off their asses...
Wait... Forget I said anything.
Ever since my early days as a gamer, I have waited patiently for a good Superman game. I have watched consoles come and go, catridges give way to discs. And I have seen countless Superman games.
On a scale of one to ten, these games average somewhere between zero and crimes against humanity.
Dear God, Superman 64.
Playing that game is still a punishment for murder in some countries.
Now, I'll grant you. Past consoles may not have been able to capture the full Superman experience. What with all the flying around and the super speed and the robots with the biting of the metal teeth.
But come on. Give me a flying game where I beat the shit out of some licensed villains.
I don't want to fly through rings.
I don't want the generic "fly around and disarm all the bombs" levels.
Is that so much to freaking ask?
I mean Batman gets good games. He's got lots of them.
Yes, he's also got games that suck, but they're not even on the same level as the history of Superman games.
That's bullshit. Batman doesn't even have superpowers.
Ooooh, look out! He's got a belt and severe mother issues.
And he's got good games.
What the hell, guys?
Seriously, we need to get some guys on this. We need to get some developers and the DC guys in a room and then point guns at them until they make a game that doesn't make you want to die.
Yes, we will have to shoot some of them.
I'm okay with that.