Games I HATE - Vol. 4Okay... I'm about to piss off a metric F&%@ton of people, so I'm going to say the name of a game and then you can feel free to not continue reading. You can feel entirely free to not have me tear apart a game you love.
Are you ready?
I'll see you tomorrow.
If you're still reading this, then you are either:
a) willing to hear my opinion
b) just scrolling down so you can start bitching in the comments
Honestly, you can explain whatever you want. You can go on and on about how unique and revolutionary this game is.
I hate this game.
The basic premise of the game didn't seem that terrible. Roll a ball around and collect stuff. Fun.
It would have made a pretty good flash game. You know... Waste twenty minutes of your workday trying to roll some shit up.
Then they decided to put it out for the PS2.
Holy crap. Did you see how much space is on one of those PS2 discs? How the hell were they going to fill that up with a little flash game?
Hey, let's fill the rest of the disc with senseless, mindless poser Japanese bullshit.
Plot? Who needs a freaking plot?
Fine. Tack one on there. Something about remaking stars or something.
Let's get back to the important stuff. Does the game look like someone hit acid and then threw up on a Lite Brite?
People act like this game is the freaking Lord of the Rings of video games or something, as if it was some high art, ultra-deep, intellectual experience.
You're rolling a ball around picking up trash and trees and cows and shit. There is nothing deep about this game.
This game is the opposite of deep.
It is high.
I mean that in every sense of the world because the only way this game is going to transcend into the spiritual is if you are as high as balls and are playing the game before heading to White Castle.
Was it interesting? Sure.
In the same way you'd find a car accident "interesting".
When you get down to it, it was a mildly amusing game with mildly catchy music.
That is freaking it.
I F&%@ING hate this game because everyone acts like it is so much greater than it actually is, like all the neon colors and crazy graphics make it somehow worth my time.
Strip all that superfluous shit away and what do you have?
Not freaking much.
God, that felt good to say.