Bannable Offenses

Return Home to Bana'diel

See what I did there?

As several readers and my lovely wife have pointed out, we're getting close to another fan pack and we haven't started a theme week yet.

I'd like to say that it's because I've been terribly, terribly busy.

I'd like to say that.

That'd be great.

Unfortunately, that would also be lying.

I've been trying to work out a theme week theme with last month's top donator. We've been going back and forth for almost a week now trying to figure this out.

Now, usually, this is because they can't decide on a theme.

Not this guy.

Oh, no. This guy was incredibly well prepared. He had a laundry list of potential themes ready and waiting for my e-mail.

This list was:

a) incredibly detailed

b) batshit crazy

Holy lord, you should have seen this thing. It looked like he'd been working on it for weeks.

You'd think this would make the process much easier.

I sure did.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

As detailed as the list was, these themes were WAY out of my league.

Here are some of my favorites:

-my thoughts on classic literature
-a seven day look at the economy
-writing in foreign languages
-home renovations projects
-obscure political trivia

I'm not even joking. Those are actual ideas.

As awesome as I am, I feel that perhaps I have given you an unrealistic opinion of my abilities and skills.

Basically, I am able to write about:

-video games
-playing video games
-relatively funny observations
-did I say video games? Crap.
-world domination
-dragons

I CAN write about other things, but those are my real strengths.

Yes, I'm sure you'd all love to hear my thoughts on impressionist painters, but let's stick to what I'm good at, k?

Luckily, at the end of the list, buried beneath thirty or forty doctorate thesis topics, was a beautiful little gem.

The games I hate the most.

No, it will not be seven days of me saying WoW and hitting publish.

Though that would be awesome.

No, I'll be doing 7 straight days of the games that I despise, the games that make me want to punch a cat in the face.

There'll be ranting and raving, cursing and swearing.

I may or may not use the word retarded.

Who knows?

And at the end of those seven rage-filled days, I will be sending out a fan pack chock full of [GM]Dave goodness.

Chock full.

I don't know what a chock is, but when I do, the fan pack will be filled to that specific level.

Damned metric system.

As usual, anyone who donates $5 or more to the blog during the month will become an automatic member of the [GM]Dave fan club and receive their very own fan pack.

But wait! There's more!

Act now and I'll double the offer! You can get two, TWO, copies of the fan pack for the price of one.

Just cut and paste. It's that easy!

I'm kidding. Calm down already.

Because I notice that some people can't donate every month, I've decided to run a little "Return Home to Bana'diel" campaign. If there's a specific fan pack you've missed, just let me know and I'll send them out shortly after the fan pack.

You know you can't feel complete while there's void in your soul the exact size of a missed fan pack.

It's time to heal.

Oh, and as usual, the person who donates the most will get to choose their very own theme for a week's worth of posts.

Anything.

Within reason.

I mean, I'll write about anything, but I'd appreciate it if it was something that could actually be funny.

That would help.

Let's keep the "funny" in mildly funny blog.

Am I right?

Anyway, theme week will start on Tuesday and the fan packs will be sent out next Wednesday.

Probably.

It's cute that I still pretend I can actually follow any sort of schedule.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:41 PM