Bannable Offenses

Theme Week - Jormy Redux 5

Betrayal At Uleguerand

... This has been a long time coming.

I get asked one question about Jormy more than any other.

No, not what color he is.

Purple, stupid.

No, the one thing that most readers / Jormy lovers want to know is whether or not I have ever, ever, EVER help my linkshell kill Jormy.

... I suppose "no comment" won't really cut it, huh?

See, besides being my ultimate weapon of retard destruction, Jormy does still have a day job causing mayhem and murder in Uleguerand Range. For a long time, he was an incredibly popular target for end game linkshells.

It would, therefore, only make sense that I would take part in killing him at some point. Given the amount of time I spend playing and the number of active characters I have at any one time, it could be pretty much expected that this would come up.

What do you even think of me?

Do you really think I could do that to Jormy?

Jormy is my best friend. Of course I could never even consider killing him. I could never, in good conscience, raise a weapon against him.

Luckily, my linkshell usually has me go as a Black Mage.

What? Don't even act like you're surprised.

You wouldn't be surprised if I started out tonight post with "So, I punched a baby today..." I don't really think that it's that big a jump for me to help my linkshell kill Jormy for fun and profit.

If you remember correctly, my main job is Dragoon.

You may also recall that for a while there, a Barone Corazza was a really kick ass piece of gear to own.

So, it was really only a matter of time before my own self-interest won out over my loyalty.

Actual time: 3 minutes.

Oh, c'mon. Things were different back then. We didn't have eleventy million nice pieces of body armor to choose from.

You kids these days... You don't know how rough it used to be.

Sacrifices had to be made.

And not by me.

I still remember my first Jormy run after I started working as a GM. Someone in my LS started organizing the run and I found myself struggling with a moral dilemma. Could I really kill Jormy for some stupid, shiny piece of equipment?

A really shiny piece of equipment?

Like super shiny...

Seriously. 3 minutes.

My LS started looking for people to come as mages and I volunteered because:

a) I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye and hit him with my lance

b) Jormy will severely F&%@ up a melee

So, I went and sat back with the mages.

It's nice back there. While the rest of the group is up front getting their asses handed to them, we get to sit back and relax.

Occasionally, we'd throw out a spell.

Between naps.

As the fight raged on, I couldn't help but feel bad.

I mean that. I really couldn't help it. My usually carefully contained (read: ignored) human emotions started to well up.

Poor, poor Jormy.

MY poor, poor Jormy.

Could I really stand there and watch this happen? Could I help it happen?

All for some stupid, shiny Corazza (read: word that I can only assume means shirt).

Was this really what it felt like to experience... Guilt?

I spent much of the battle wrestling with the morality of killing a virtual, non-existant creature in order to obtain a virtual, non-existant shirt.

It was a virtual, non-existant dilemma.

I was virtually, non-existentially fraught.

Then I started to get virtually, non-existentially hungry.

That... That was confusing, to say the least.

I was so caught up in my philosphical debates that I didn't notice how terrible the battle was actually going.

I certainly didn't notice them drag Jormy over to where we were standing.

And then, I couldn't help but notice when someone behind him got hate.

You'd be surprised how easily a nice Spike Flail will wrap up a moral dilemma, virtual or not. Once we reraised, I felt much less guilty about killing him.

I still have that Barone Corazza. I wear it just to remind him who the boss is.

I just have to make sure I don't stand behind him while I wear it.

That shit can get messy.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:22 PM