Theme Week - Jormy Redux 2
A Day In The Life of Jormy6:00 am
Alarm clock rings indicating it's time to get up and start working.
6:01 am
Destroy alarm clock.
9:00 am
Woken by a bunch of Kindred demons arguing about whether or not the demon name indicates a religious reference or is a more secular term for monster.
9:01 am
Make note to horribly murder Kindred demons.
All of them.
Finally wake up and decide to go kill something.
9:02 am - 10:00 am
Walk in circles.
10:01 am - 11:00 am
Still walking in circles.
11:01 am - 12:00 pm
Again with the circles.
Seriously, where the hell is everyone? Starting to get hungry.
12:17 pm
That [GM] guy summons me to eat a Galka.
I'm not THAT hungry.
Still, if I don't eat him I'm going to be out of a job. Given the economy and my 87 children I have to feed, that really isn't an option.
12:18 pm
Ugh. I really hate Galkas.
With all the hair.
And the smell... Oh dear Altana, the smell.
I think I'm going to be sick.
12:19 pm
Back in Uleguerand Range. Still walking around in circles.
Try walking in a rhombus.
No one notices.
12:43 pm
[GM] guy summons me again.
This time I have to eat two tarus and a hume female.
No... Wait... That's a hume male.
Man, it's really hard to tell those things apart.
12:45 pm
Back in Uleguerand Range.
Seriously? Right back to the icy wasteland?
We couldn't hang out and chat for a while?
Make note to contact my union rep.
1:51 pm
Hey, someone is actually here to see me.
It's just one little Elvaan. Probably trying to get a screenshot or something.
I'll just use draw-in...
1:52 pm
A bajillion people just appear out of nowhere.
At first, I think it's a tour group or something, but I slowly start to wonder if they might have more violent intentions. Something about the way they're all milling around.
That and the stabbings and magical spells and whatnot.
Side note: Ouch.
2:16 pm
Still fighting when I notice a guy wearing a Barone Corazza.
That's in poor taste. You don't see me wearing armor made from one of his kidney stones.
Why the hell am I carrying all of this metal shit anyway? I'm a freaking dragon.
What the hell am I going to do with Molybdenum Ore?
Frankly, it's just a liability. People keep showing up trying to freaking gut me over a stupid chunk ofr ore that I don't even want.
They could have just asked. I think I would have been cool with that.
Wait... What was I doing?
Oh yeah... The fighting.
3:04 pm
These guys really aren't good at this.
Usually by this time, the battle's been over for a while and I'm off getting some coffee while I wait to respawn.
Maybe they're just a little slow.
4:35 pm
Really? Still with the fighting?
This is getting a little sad.
Actually, we passed a little sad a while ago.
4:58 pm
Get bored and fake my own death. I just fall over and drop some ores on the ground.
They don't seem to mind.
At least I can get some peace and quiet.
4:59 pm
[GM] guy summons me to eat an LS full of gil sellers.
Again.
I wouldn't mind so much, but I know I'm just going to be hungry again in an hour.
See what I did there?
5:30 pm
Dinner break.
I try not to think about the irony.
6:30 pm
Summoned to eat a guy whose name is a euphemism for penis.
Pray [GM] guy doesn't make a joke about eating cock.
6:31 pm
Die a little inside.
6:34 pm
Consider alternate careers.
Children's entertainer maybe.
7: 27 pm
Summoned to...
Honestly, I don't really care at this point. I'm going to eat someone because they did something wrong/evil/slightly annoying.
It really doesn't matter what they did.
I munna eat choo.
8:00 pm
I think... I think he's done for the day.
I'm safe.
Now, I just have to worry about passing thirty seven suits of armor and my day will be over.
...
Yay?
And tomorrow... Tomorrow, I get to do it all over again.
8:01 pm
Fall asleep weeping softly to self.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:54 PM
13 Comments:
Poor Jormy. Pooping metal must really hurt.
Still fighting when I notice a guy wearing a Barone Corazza.
That's in poor taste. You don't see me wearing armor made from one of his kidney stones.
Dave, I think you just justified an repeated RPG cliché; how minerals and metals grow inside dragons. I'm going to steal this, if you don't mind.
As much as I love Jormy, it does get old. I was expecting to the same old thing, this was quite a refreshing change. I haven't laughed so hard in awhile. Very nice change of pace.
i must say, i've been reading this blog for the past year or so, and i've never laughed so hard ever xD
*and i dont play FFXI
Hahahaha @ "hungry again in an hour" after eating all the gilsellers. Priceless as always, Dave.
Oh, and dig the rhombus thing, too.
I love chinese food.
Dave,
Great stuff as always. I loved how you changed it up and still kept it hilarious.
Keep up the good work!
Come to think of it, it's been a while since Jormy got in on the conversation whenever you summon him to eat someone. You should do that more often.
O.o did you interview Jormy's emo brother or something?
He's the pet dragon of GM dave...no way would GM dave keep a dragon who does not enthusiastically enjoy munching on people who annoy gm dave.
Feel sorry for jormy if he reads this =(
[i][GM] guy summons me to eat an LS full of gil sellers.
Again.
I wouldn't mind so much, but I know I'm just going to be hungry again in an hour.[/i]
Damned MSG...
Excellent read. Would definitely enjoy reading more blogs from Jormy's perspective.
awesomeness !!
its hard to be a big purple dragon after all ....
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