Seriously, people. We're not retarded.
We're really not.
If anyone, ANYONE, reading this works at Microsoft, I want you to call a staff meeting and tell everyone that we're not all a bunch of slack-jawed, mouth breathing f&%@tards.
I don't care if you work in the mail room. Get on it already.
Why does Microsoft have a mail department anyway? Have they not heard of e-mail?
You know what? Not my problem. Call the freaking staff meeting.
I am trying my best to give this whole project Natal thing a fair chance. I am trying my damnedest to not hate this thing from the outset and give it an actual chance at being good.
That's big for me. I hate everything from the outset.
I hate things that haven't even been invented yet.
But, because this thing COULD help the evolution of gaming as a whole, I'm trying to put my all consuming hatred to the side.
Then Microsoft comes out and tries to sell us a PILE OF ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!
I mean WHAT THE F&%@?!
The tl;dr version is that Microsoft is claiming that the Wii was NOT the inspiration for their new sensor bar.
ARE THEY F&%@ING KIDDING ME?!
I realize they have to try and put a good face on this whole thing, but there's good PR and then there's just saying whatever retarded ass bullshit pops into your freaking skull.
Not inspired by the Wii?!
It's a sensor bar that lets the player control their character through movement.
THAT'S THE ENTIRE PREMISE BEHIND THE WII!!!
You can try and spin this however you like, but at least give us the freaking credit to not be completely brain dead.
You're not fooling anyone. It's not like you just say that and we all go "Oh, really, Mr. Microsoft? Well, I guess we were wrong about it."
It's not even subtle.
Not at all.
You might as well try and get us to believe that I Can't Believe It's Not Butter wasn't inspired by BUTTER!
My favorite part of the whole thing:
“What Natal is, is a way of breaking down those barriers, making Xbox 360 accessible to everyone, and introducing the world to controller-free gaming,” Schappert added.
Man, if that guy gets paid by the buzzword, he's freaking rich. Throw in a few "dynamic"s and you're goddamned golden.
In case you don't speak Spin Doctor, allow me to translate:
Quote: What Natal is, is a way of breaking down those barriers
Translation: there are things standing between us and money. We intend to destroy those things.
Quote: making Xbox 360 accessible to everyone
Translation: the Wii has been raping us for years. Please buy your grandma an Xbox360.
Quote: and introducing the world to controller-free gaming
Translation: Yeah... Remember that other console with the sensor bar and the Wiimote? Well, we couldn't figure out the Wiimote thing.
Honestly, I find the whole thing very, very insulting. I realize most gaming companies see us as little more than walking piles of money, but they don't have to be mean about it.
Just say "Yeah, we totally copied the Wii."
We're cool with that.
We are totally fine with that.
Just don't stand there and pretend that you didn't, and then act like it is crazy for us to even suggest it.
The Wii is making a shit-ton of money.
I'm not sure if that's metric, but you get my point.
It is only natural for you to try and copy that. They happened on to a new aspect of gaming that many people thought was silly, but turned out to be incredibly popular.
There's no shame in copying their idea to try and expand your market.
Okay... There's a little shame in it.
Actually, there's a lot of shame in it, but that's beside the point.
Just stop treating us like a bunch of brain dead children who can't form rational thought. Stop throwing us this freaking bullshit about how original you are and tell us the truth.
Tell us you're trying to make a game system that people would like more.
Tell us you took the best ideas around to make one better console.
Tell us something more than how original and creative and just how plain awesome you are.
It's obvious you don't respect us. That much is pretty apparent.
But maybe you should worry about how much we respect you.
Also, if you could work motion control into Final Fantasy XIII, that'd be super. Thanks.
What? If I'm making demands that no one's ever going to listen to, I might as well ask.