Saturday, February 14, 2009

Why?!

So...

I've been in contact with the top donator for the last fan pack. I sent what I considered a very nice e-mail extending the opportunity to take part in the blog in some fashion.

Maybe he wanted a story written.

Maybe he wanted a neighbors pet to not be alive anymore.

These are services I am willing to provide.

Of course this is not an exhaustive list. I do not limit my talents to either writing or pet elimination.

That would make a hell of an interesting business card, though.

No, I approached this kind, generous reader and offered him the chance to ask for anything within my power.

And how does he respond to this generous offer?

I'll give you a hint.

Oh, the humanity.

Yes, it looks like I'm going to be playing WoW for a week.

Or shooting myself in the head.

I'm still deciding.

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to (grudgingly) give WoW a fair shot. I have to play the game for a solid week and give my honest, unbiased impressions.

Have I done something wrong?

I thought we were friends.

Friends don't make friends play WoW.

You sonova bitch.

Still... A deal is a deal.

Spread the word, people. Looks like [GM]Dave is coming to Azeroth.

50 Comments:

At 8:15 PM, Blogger John said...

I'm so sorry.

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger Total Bastard said...

We.. the true believers, welcome you to the faith.

Um.. forgot, not allowed to say that any more. It doesn't matter though We are WoW we will assimilate you.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Celeste said...

Dave...Please, just remember your Dragoon and long wanted Valkyrie's Fork, but your mind is strong enough to cope, i had the same thing done by a friend of mine, "play the free-trial, i'm sure you'll like it better than FFXI". That was 2 years ago, i've been playing FFXI for 5 years come this year. I guess that tells you what i thought of WoW ^_^.

(First Post, been reading since the beginning o.o)

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Justin said...

[GM]Dave playing WoW?

THERE

IS

NO

GOD.

 
At 9:39 PM, Blogger TJ said...

This is going to be a *wonderful* week.

To whoever the top donor was: Thank you.

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

While i haven't played FFXI i have played several MMO's and i have to say the [GM]Dave hits on things that are common threads through pretty much all of them.

However MMO's are not equal. what one loves in FFXI probably won't be present in WoW. I played Lineage2 for 4 years and gave up playing it. Started playing WoW because my girlfriend wanted to get into an MMO and L2 didn't support Macs. Even after about 6 months playing WoW i still want to go back to L2 bcause the game aspects i liked were more abundant.

All things considered I wish the best of luck to Dave on his journey through Azeroth. I'd start with ya so that the initial shock isn't quite as bad, but i think it'll be funnier if you deal with it all on your own.

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

eew, i feel dirty just reading that... best of luck with the 12 y/o's. and remember, every minute logged into WoW your IQ drops 1 point.

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger Sean said...

If you feel the need, I would be happy to lend you my .44 revolver... Either to end the suffering or deal with the abundance of retards you're sure to find on WoW. Thought FFXI has a lot of idiots? You have no idea...

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger breakingthedawn said...

Play on the Uldum server and search for a Death Knight named Ziyun. I'll help you tread through.

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger Mali said...

Give the wife a message for me : I am so sorry for your loss.

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger Jesse said...

It would be interesting if Dave meets people he kicked off FFXI in WoW...

 
At 12:41 AM, Blogger Tyler said...

Oh yeah, have fun with that. I seriously played that game for about 3 days.

By that time I almost put my foot through to the other side of my PC tower because that would have been a faster way of uninstalling the game.

150 gil says he won't last the whole 7 days.

 
At 1:29 AM, Blogger Edwin said...

sir welcome to mmo easy mode

 
At 3:25 AM, Blogger MattAllan3184 said...

Oh good lord no! ... I've been reading this blog since day one, but this time i just had to post a reply (more like a lifeline) ... All I can say is good luck. I play the game on and off because real life friends just keep reeling me in, but in all reality, you're screwed. Just remember, if you don't want the retarded 12 year old children syphoning all of your brain matter out of your left ear, try not to pay any attention to the trade chats in the capital cities. They have been known to cause irreparable harm to intelligence, mood swings, and a condition known as "LOL-ism". Once again, good luck.

 
At 4:51 AM, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Oh my God, that's awful. Poor Dave!

Stay strong, Dave. I hope you don't encounter any WoW GMS.

I don't think playing World of Warcraft will suck as much for you as being powerless to kill all the stupid WoW players will...

 
At 5:28 AM, Blogger Robert said...

You should play it like you play FFXI, about 6 hours a day.

If you avoid trade chat and don't group up retards you will be fine.

I recommend skinning for easy money while leveling.

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Akamar said...

Heh. A day by day of that could be interesting. I doubt there will be anything to be concerned over. Between your bias against the game, and sheer typical mmorpger irritation, I'll wager you'll be hopping right back off in a week. :3

 
At 5:43 AM, Blogger Akamar said...

Just about any gathering skill, really...

... hells, were it possible I'd send him gold. XD

 
At 6:25 AM, Blogger Shadowdancer said...

So you are going to spend a week or two with the trial edition... That's actually a good thing, since elements like trading, the auction house, and the mail system are not available to trial players, which will cut you off from the complete "experience".

I also found it to take a month or two to get really boring, so maybe you can have a somewhat fun time.

But don't visit the forums.

Oh god the forums.

BRB, rinsing the brain with bleach.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger FairieTink said...

Welcome to the DarkSide Dave. I'm on Lightbringer, yes I am a girl and yes, I can be seen in public without people running in fear.

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Daniel said...

This is good, it'll give you way more fuel for the fire. Can't wait for all the posts you are going to make about idiots.

If you want to avoid most of them, though, then whenever you go into a major city, just type "/leave trade"

You'll thank me for it later.

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger Saifer said...

um, Ive been playing FFXI for 4 years, and played WoW for 2 months. Ppl really got the wrong idea here, WoW is a pretty awesome game and has alot of stuff FFXI could need (moving markers on the map ftw). Instances on WoW r really awesome and u dont need to be and endgame or have any experience to join them and have fun and win them. In general, WoW is an awesome game.

If Dave really gives WoW a chance, erase all those bad thoughts and stuff and really plays the game, im sure he will like it. Now, trial accounts REALLY sucks because they limit u so much. U cant trade, use AH, invite some 1 to a pt, invite some 1 to a pvp, U cant add friends to ur friend list, u cant talk in /t unless that person has u on their friend list, it blows, period, and lot of other stuff that got me to buy the game and give it a real chance.

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Skitzkitty said...

That's the one thing I have always loved about FFXI. If you didn't know how to play your job, people would boot your butt right out of the party. In WoW, you can be beyond sucking, and still get floated through the content. Reasons why WoW has so many high level idiots in my opinion.

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger Siegtaru said...

Wow, what an evil mother fucking bastard. xD

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Richard said...

You can bypass most of of the morons & 12 year olds by rolling Horde. Till you get to the barrens... Oh god, The barrens...

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger Dice said...

Well played, top donor. Well played, indeed.

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger Qauj said...

I have one word for you [GM] Dave...

Gnomes.

Very much like Taru. Short, talk funny, and so so annoying. But here is the plus side. You can kill them...over and over and over again. Remember that Taru BLM in your party who was a complete idiot? Kill a gnome. That Taru who always undercuts your stuff in the AH by 10 gil? Light a gnome on fire. That Taru in Whitegate that did nothing wrong in anyway? Mind Control a gnome off a cliff.

I have played both games for a number of years now, and there is nothing like sending those little mistakes of nature to their doom while imagining it's a Taru

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger Allison said...

Honestly, I play WoW, I like WoW, but [GM]Dave, you are going to die.

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger Phil said...

I knew this one guy that said WoW's trial ruined his computer. His friend said it was actually the cup of coffee he spilled on it that ruined it. I told him I blamed WoW too and he shook my hand.

Moral of the story is, FFXI is on Xbox360 if your computer happens to commit suicide.

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Korriban said...

Dave, I'm usually quite content just to read your posts but today I also have to reply.

I understand your bias and I realise that this is going to be hard for you. I know you are aware that the window lickers are everywhere and are very much present in WoW. But there are some some genuinely decent people who play Warcraft. Granted they are in a minority but they are there.

My recommendations to you (these ones are on the house):

1) Roll Horde. Just trust me.
2) Leave 'Barrens Chat' as soon as you enter the zone.
3) Better yet, avoid The Barrens altogether.
4) Try to play offpeak to avoid the kiddies.

Other than that, I will pray for your sanity. Enjoy!

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Blake said...

(in a very Cartman-esque way) Ahaha.. Ahahahahha.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Bufuman said...

All we need is the name of this top donor of yours, and we'll beat his ass. At the very least, WoW is much easier to solo in, so you don't have to spend too much time dealing with idiot party members. A bit of a plus there.

But I'm going to feel left out if you get addicted to this game, and apply to be a GM at WoW.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Estrid said...

The first five minutes I logged in as a night elf, I ran into a Priest fighting a level 2 mob. Mobs are very obviously underpowered at this stage in the game, this Priest had a full life bar and had nearly defeated this boar.

Out of nowhere, this Priest /shouts, "HELP ME!" I blink. I had rolled a Druid so thought maybe they need a heal? I check her lifebar. Nope, bitch is fine. I go to kill some Imps, minding my own business, and again "HELP!!" I look over, she's still fine. "PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!" At this point I've reconciled that there is no amount of help I can offer this person that would alleviate their needs, but figure what the hell. I drop a Healing Touch, and she runs over to me, "THANK YOU!! Hey let's dance!" ...she literally strips off her clothes and /dance.

This was on a PVE NON-RP SERVER.

...I logged and deleted my nelf. I've tried Alliance a couple of times since, trying to find *something* I enjoyed about this game, and every time I've logged in to a barrage of this utter inexplicable stupidity. Naked humans dancing on the mailbox in Goldshire etc.

Horde was superior in damn near every way. We had our raging morons sure, but the sheer level of stupidity that graces the Alliance is unparalleled.

Yeah, I for one, am never going back. I mean it this time. Really.

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger Music-chan said...

Oh god, DAVE'S COMING! RUN FOR THE HILLS! HIDE THE GNOMES! Save yourselves while there's still time!

Fleeeeeeeeee

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Triss said...

GM Dave don't do it ;_;

Think of the children... ;_;

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Donny Walnuts said...

[GM]Dave -- what server are you on????

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Angelique said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
haha
ah ha
Really though, it'll be a new experience. And in the end, if you don't like it *at all* then you'll be more thankful for what you have =]
Until then...
AHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHA

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

Welcome to the fold...
grab the Jack
ignore all players

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Gero said...

Had to make an account for this.

If you want something to write about in the blog.
A: roll alliance
B: not only read the trade chats but try and join in
C: visit the barrens
D: play at peak times and get into as many groups as u possibly can.
E: make stupid gm calls for shits and giggles

If you want to at least enjoy a little bit of the experience and leave with some sanity intact.
A: roll horde
B: play at offpeak times
C: stay away from the barrens
D: group with no one, not even the top donor.
E: make stupid gm calls for shits and giggles.

Enjoy, also well played top donor :p

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger Sierra/Artemus said...

I'm sorry. XDD This should be entertaining.

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger Edwin said...

y'know i just thought about this.... imagine the first ffxi player to incure Dave's wrath after day one of WoW

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Matthew said...

allys are tards, that and what server do you play on? i will buy an account just to have the chance to follow gm dave around like an apostle!!!!

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger matt said...

while I don't blindly hate the game, I do question any MMORPG that has a jump button...

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger Adrian said...

Ooh, let me guess what our intrepid GM is going to say:

WoW sucks, the graphics suck, it's lame, he has to drink alchohol to play it, the people are lame, etc.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger T.Z said...

Are you sure someone dumb enough to ask you to play WoW is smart enough to figure out the internet?

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Top donor: That's a hillarious idea!

WoW and especially PvP servers are a neverending well og blog material.

 
At 5:54 AM, Blogger Vibrato said...

Do yourself a favor and start with a Horde character. I started with alliance and it damn near drove me back to Lineage2. A game that was so awesome you had to run at least 3 accounts so your "main" can get .10% of a level in one day.
Been playing WoW for just over a year and i'm working on my 4th lvl 80 >_> Although a good friend ingame has been pestering me to try FFXI - maybe since you're spending a week in WoW i'll spend a week in FFXI.

Lok'tar ogar!

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

Friends don't make friends play WoW?

Sure they do - that's how you get a zhevra mount. :D

God, I want a zhevra mount.

Anyway... Gnomes blow, play Horde, ignore trade chat (they're almost ALL morons there). That should get you through most of it relatively unscathed.

And yes, you won't need to party much (or maybe at all) to get through a week long trial. Cuts down on the idiot factor quite a bit.

I had never thought of mind controlling a gnome off a cliff. I must try that.

Go Horde! :D

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger katsgone said...

Dave - be thankful.
Barrens chat alone will give you weeks of material to write about.
Advice:
1.)Roll horde
2.) Do NOT under any circumstances, for the love of all that is holy, say anything at all about Chuck Norris in Barrens Chat. Trust me on this. I still have flashbacks....
3.) For serious fun - roll on a PvP server - kill the people who annoy you, its a nice change of pace. I personally recommend rogue gnomes....they are very yummy when cooked correctly.
4.) Druids are awesome fun - I seriously recommend that for a character. Just don't ask me why cows live up a mountain and travel around town in a tree staircase, just go with it.

Just a few thoughts from a lady who has played both MMO's.

Have a blast.....
bring alcohol.....
do not right click on enemy players when you cannot read their level (they like it when you do that)....
drink more alcohol and soon it will all make sense....even as your cow is climbing stairs in a tree.

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger Dirtyfinger said...

[GM] Dave..

World Of Warcrap? seriously? Get a grip on yourself man and pull yourself together.

I am a big fan of your blogs especially the on about the Bonanza, you have a FFXI reputation to protectra, don't lose it by abusing it please.

 

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