You've Got To Be KiddingYou probably know who PETA is. Just in case you don't, it stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
This is not a bad thing. Despite my intense hatred towards the majority of people, I don't really have a problem with animals.
Animals is good people.
So, you'd think I wouldn't have a problem with PETA.
You'd be wrong.
See, as much as their intentions seem good, they fall into the same problem that plagues so many other groups.
I understand the whole saving the animals thing.
Stopping animal cruelty.
Then they start with the whole vegetarian thing...
I don't think so.
If someone chooses to become a vegetarian, that's fine. It's their life and they can choose what they want to or don't want to eat.
But when someone starts telling me not to eat meat, that ain't right.
If I remove meat from my diet, I'd basically be eating potatoes and...
So, their whole "don't eat meat" thing kind of pisses me off.
Still, that's not really retarded.
A little, but not really.
No, these guys have set a new record for epic levels of retardedness.
Are you ready?
They want to rename fish.
I'm not kidding. They want to rename fish.
Their basic argument is that fish have been given a bad rap and a fresh, new name will help people realize that they are beautiful creatures that should be left alone.
Guess what they want to name them.
Go ahead and try.
Whatever you guessed, it wasn't retarded enough.
They want to rename fish...
Yes, sea kittens.
I told you. Retarded.
I know PETA has done some pretty messed up shit before, but this is crazy even for them.
Maybe when they're not eating plants, they're smoking them.
Apparently, if fish had a cute name like Sea kittens, people would be less likely to eat them.
Yeah... Nomenclature is the problem.
We could totally solve all of life's problems. We just have to give everything new names.
Not anymore. Now, you have funny bumps.
Don't you feel better about it?
Or AIDS... Yeah, that name is such a bring down.
We could call it "The Smilies!"
And you have to do jazz hands when you say it.
This is a great idea.
No, it's not.
I don't know about you, but I would totally eat a Sea kitten.
I don't even like fish.
But if they change the name to Sea kittens, I'm going to eat all of them.
I will be at the damned beach with a fork and knife the next day.
Sea kittens. Yum.
I don't know about cute, but it sure makes them sound delicious.
Hell, I'll probably eat a dolphin while I'm at it.
Don't worry though. I'll call it a Sea iguana or something first.
That makes it totally different.
Honestly, I think I just have to stop reading the news. Every time I start to think I couldn't think less of humanity, someone comes along and says "Wanna bet?"
And then we all lose.
Screw it. Tomorrow, I'm going to the aquarium and I'm going to punch a fish in the face.
Wait... Sorry... That was the anger talking.
I'm going to punch a Sea kitten in the face.