Sigh...So, Susan and I were walking through a mall yesterday.
Something about returning the pile of crap our relatives bought us and buying games with the money.
Damn, I love that woman.
As we were walking through the mall, I spotted one of those Stacker games where you stack colored blocks up to the top to win big prizes outside of an arcade.
One of the prizes was Wii Fit.
I, of course, assumed it was a watse of time and money, but my love of games overcame my sensibilities and I threw down a dollar.
Still, after playing it, I thought I should give it a second shot. Using my keen gamer reflexes and a new found understanding of the game mechanic, I was bound to win.
At this point, I no longer care about the prize. Now, it's me versus the game.
I'll see you in hell, Stacker game.
Did I say win?
On a side note, if you saw a crazy guy jumping up and down near a stacker machine and high fiving everyone in sight, that was me.
I managed to regain my composure before I started jamming on random buttons.
I pressed the Select Prize button until the Wii Fit was lit up.
Since I was selecting my prize, it seemed like the logical thing to do.
I hit the big red button and MY Wii Fit starts to move.
Then it fell...
And got stuck.
No, I'm not joking.
My brand new, three dollar Wii Fit was jammed in between the front glass and the back wall.
[GM]Dave does not handle adversity well.
I was just getting ready to give the machine a gentle nudge (read: flying spin kick), when some arcade employee came out.
Employee>> Oh, that sucks.
Apparently, he graduated from Moron University with a double major in "extreme understatement" and "ways to severely piss me off".
[GM]Dave>> Yes, it does.
[GM]Dave>> And what are we going to do about this?
Employee>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> Would you describe your head as being hard?
Employee>> ... I guess so.
[GM]Dave>> It would save me time going to get a rock.
Employee>> I don't understand.
[GM]Dave>> I'm not surprised.
[GM]Dave>> Okay... Let's think about this.
[GM]Dave>> How do they get the games in there?
Employee>> Through the glass door.
[GM]Dave>> Good, good.
[GM]Dave>> We're getting somewhere.
Employee>> But I don't have the key.
[GM]Dave>> Why would you?
[GM]Dave>> That'd make you even remotely helpful.
[GM]Dave>> Where is the key?
Employee>> My boss has it.
[GM]Dave>> Let me guess...
[GM]Dave>> It's your boss's day off.
Employee>> Yeah, it is.
Employee>> How did you know that?
[GM]Dave>> Wild freakin' guess.
Employee>> I suppose we could call him.
[GM]Dave>> Let's do that.
[GM]Dave>> I have several things I'd like to say.
The boss informed me that he wouldn't be in until the next day.
I informed the boss that a belligerent drunk man would be standing in front of his arcade and screaming at customers.
The boss informed me that he was on his way.
I spent the next hour standing directly in front of the machine ready to defend my prize to the death.
Preferably not my death.
The boss finally arrived and retrieved my Wii Fit from its precarious position. He handed it to me and I cradled it lovingly in my arms.
As I turned to walk away, the boss said...
Boss>> You're WELCOME.
It's a good thing he's a fast runner. I'd hate to break my new balance board over his head.
Though, it might have been worth the three dollars...