The Impending UpdateWhat more could you want? Honestly, what the hell else could we do for you?
We increased solo xp.
We put a nomad moogle in Selbina.
Basically, we did everything that the players asked us to do.
And yet, people still complained about other things.
So, with a renewed sense of purpose and meaning (and an open bar), we went back to the drawing board and tried to figure out what else we could do for you, our players.
Okay... When I say "we", I don't mean "we".
I really didn't have shit to do with any of that. That's some guy in another country who I've never even met.
I don't even know if they use drawing boards.
But he/she/they went to work.
I stayed here to hold down the fort.
You would be surprised how much drinking is involved in holding down a fort.
So, the nameless, under-appreciated devs went to work to find out exactly what they could do to make the game even better.
That's friggin' commitment.
I mean, the game is already amazing. It is, without a doubt, the best MMORPG on the market today.
Oh, calm down. It's not like any WoW players will even read this for the next month.
They have to go kill some guy with a cold chair or something.
Just the idea that someone is working everyday to make a great game even better astounds me.
This is like the guy who invented candied bacon.
He took an amazing product, bacon, and said "what ELSE can we do to make it better?"
IT'S BACON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
Bacon is good. Bacon is delicious.
Bacon is damned near perfect.
And yet... Some guy worked to make it just a little better.
That's our devs.
Also, FFXI won't make your heart explode.
What did the devs come up with?
They made your whole game life easier.
No, they didn't turn down the difficulty on any enemies. Put your Kraken Clubs back in storage.
Instead, they said "let's just take away a lot of the hassle."
Remember having to go find a guard to recharge your exp rings?
Remember how hard it was to get from Jeuno to Whitegate?
Remember those f&%@ing idiots who kept taking your coffer when you're trying to do your damned Artifact Armor quests so you had to wait another freakin' half an hour for the coffer to repop just to watch ANOTHER moron take it?
... Not anymore.
They even removed the taxes from Jeuno.
C'mon. What more could you possibly want?
No, we will not be releasing an attachment that services you while you play.
I'm pretty sure we won't be doing that.
Oh God, I hope we don't do that.
Why do I even say things like this? When it happens, I'm going to get blamed for it.
Who the hell would want something like that?
Put your hands down.