Sunday, June 01, 2008



300 posts.

This is a little epic for me.

What? I usually have an attention span that rivals a five year old with ADD on a sugar high.

Actually making it to 300 posts suggests that I'm either growing up or that I just really like laughing at my own jokes.

Did you hear the one about the gold fish that went broke?

Now, he's a bronze fish.


I guess that's a no on the growing up.

Good to know.

Anyway, I decided that I really needed to celebrate my 300th post in a special way.

I could have given 300,000,000 gil to a lucky player.

Nah. I don't like anyone that much.

I could have give MYSELF 300,000,000 gil.

Not necessary. By a strange coincidence, I won the mog bonanza.

Six times.

Sshhhh. Don't tell anyone.

I suppose I could give 1,000,000 gil to 300 people.

But if I could find 300 people that didn't piss me off, I probably wouldn't have this blog in the first place.

Decisions, decisions.

In the end, I decided I had to do something totally unique and creative. Something no one had ever done before.

I decided to go with a bunch of 300 jokes.

Creative, I know.

[GM]Dave>> SUSAN!
Susan>> We're having dinner at your mother's aga...
Susan>> What are you wearing?

Apparently, Susan does not have the appropriate respect for Spartan battle garb.

Now that I think about it... Neither did the guys in my carpool.

You show up for work in a black speedo and a red cape ONE TIME and suddenly you're the "weird guy".

What the hell?

It's not like we have a dress code or anything.

At least... I didn't think we had one.

This would turn out to be an error.

Supervisor>> Uh...
Supervisor>> Dave?
[GM]Dave>> You there, Arcadian!
[GM]Dave>> What is your profession?
Supervisor>> Dave, you know that I'm your supervisor.
[GM]Dave>> Stay your tongue, dog.
Supervisor>> Are you okay?
Supervisor>> You're acting a little strange.
[GM]Dave>> Madness?
Supervisor>> I didn't say madness.
[GM]Dave>> THIS!
[GM]Dave>> IS!
[GM]Dave>> SPARTA!

And then I kicked him.

Do you know that it's against the law to fire someone if they're having a nervous breakdown?

Neither did I.

Apparently, I have discovered an easy way of getting a one week paid vacation.

Step 1) find a black speedo and red cape...


At 9:22 PM, Blogger Jake Talahan said...

Weird. I went to go review the last post, an a new one was posted. Good job, LOL, funny *and* I didn't have to wait.

I so gotta own that movie!

At 9:26 PM, Blogger Jake Talahan said...

Oh, by the way, I missed the point. Congrats on 300 posts.

Now, if you hadn't missed like a few months, it would be 500, 600 posts.

Depressed now?

Or maybe you're feeling like we're ungrateful bastards with positively no respect for real life?

Heck, I work 12 hours days, I have respect for RL, I just try to ignore it as much as possible.

Keep posting! Heres to 300 more! Or 1200.. or.. a million? One could hope.

By the way, provide proof that you're a GM. I'm n the Rumah server, but I'm not gonna tell you who.. so just ban everyone. Ok? :)

At 10:44 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

Next time just dress up as a GM and when anyone asks you a question, tell them you'll look into it.

I think one of my biggest accomplishments in my 4-5 years playing this game is that I have never filed a GM call...

Now give me the 300,000,000.

At 12:11 AM, Blogger Tim said...

So thats how I get time off... Thanks Dave!

At 12:30 AM, Blogger Tommy said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:31 AM, Blogger Tommy said...

Congrats on the 300 points. Great reference to Frank Miller's movie. You could ways give someone 300g.

At 4:13 AM, Blogger L.C.W. said...

"And then I kicked him."

Classic, funny and mean. Nothing says respect like tossing your boss into the giant pit of death.

At 7:51 AM, Blogger jason said...

DAVE .... /raise hand high into the air

your my kind of person

At 7:52 AM, Blogger jason said...

i wish i was on your server [GM]Dave

At 8:07 AM, Blogger Marcio said...

You can also be sent home and not be fired if you pass out at work from temporary blindness (caused by mal nutrition).

The bonus in this segment is start walking somewhere, crash into something and destroy 20%-60% of your surroundings, fall on your ass and sit there confused. Someone is bound to come and ask you in a really loud voice "WTF ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU BLIND?" you can easily make them feel like crap and get their 210% attention by replying. "I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING! Everything is... black..."

Some might even offer you a glass of water. Others a chair. Next thing you know you might be home relaxing.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Miguel R. said...

I knew it. Soon as I saw "300 posts" I was thinkin "SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I'm still lol'ing. This was win.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Ben said...

I love a good old 300 joke!

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Ricardo said...

And here I though I wouldn't be able to laugh at another 300 reference anymore.

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Aen said...

(Congratulations!) (Gamemaster) Dave!

I'm glad the blog has kept going this far. It always brightens my day and keeps me believing in the stupidity of others.

The good thing about the 300 reference is that it's hard not to get something good out of it. There was enough in there to make a slapstick movie out of it.

Have fun on your vacation, Dave. Oh, and that little puke at the beginning of this comment section who asked you for proof of your [GM]-hood? Give him a taste of Dave-style irony and run an IP trace on him and include him in Jormy's banquet.


At 6:43 PM, Blogger Sorvina said...

Congratulations on 300! Heres to countless more!

I'm with Aen on the comment Jake Talahan made.

Is that Jormy's stomach grumbling I hear?

At 9:42 PM, Blogger Nik said...

That was gold, Dave. Now all you need to do is continuously play this in the background when you go out in your spartan garb.


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