Friday, May 30, 2008


Have you ever had one of those moments when something profound just strikes you and you spend the day thinking of nothing else?

You're sitting there, minding your own business, feeding morons to large lizards, when all of a sudden an idea just jumps up and punches you in the brain.

Guy>> Okay, just have to finish this paragraph.
Guy>> Then I'll fax it over to...


Guy>> Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Then you spend the rest of the day wishing you had a power drill to get the idea out of your brain.

Is a happy employee considered gruntled?

Why is the fear of long words called Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Do hot cakes sell particularly fast?

All it takes is one mind$&#@ of a question and your entire day is lost.

I was working (my way through a bottle of whiskey) this morning and not really thinking.

I try not to start shit with my brain. He just does his thing and I leave him alone.

We're cool like that.

Besides it really doesn't require a great deal of thought to feed players to dragons.

It's like two buttons.

I even painted them purple.

Push the purple buttons and the stupid people die.

Not too hard.

So, I didn't bring this on myself.

Then, all of a sudden, a thought occurred to me.

Actually, that's putting it mildly. An idea walked up and raped me in the brain.

[GM]Dave>> Why is the word 'Dictionary' in the Dictionary?

And that was my whole day gone.

[GM]Dave>> How would you know to look it up?
[GM]OtherGuy>> That's a good point.

[GM]Dave>> You wouldn't know what 'Dictionary' meant.
Guy>> Please pull up to the second window, sir.

[GM]Dave>> You wouldn't even know what the book was.
Susan>> SHUT UP!!!

And now I'm blogging about it.

I think this is what a brain tumor feels like.

Seriously. Why would it be in there?

If you're looking up the meaning in a dictionary, then you KNOW WHAT A DICTIONARY IS.

Suppose you were in a bookstore and saw a dictionary. You suddenly wonder what a dictionary is.

But you can't find a book full of words and their meanings.

You wouldn't think to look in the dictionary for the meaning of the word because you don't know that a dictionary is a book full of word meanings.

Even if you bothered to pick the book up and try to figure it out, by the time you found the page with dictionary on it, you'd have figured out the whole damned thing.

It's entirely pointless.

And yet, it's in there.



My head hurts.

I'm just going to go to bed before I ask myself another stupid question like why there aren't any synonyms for 'Thesaurus'.




At 4:42 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

Why does lisp have an S?

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Cypher said...

IRT: Is a happy employee considered gruntled?

Gruntled Employees

At 5:35 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Miguel R. said...

For the same reason most fast food restaurants in America have warnings on their coffee saying "Caution: Contents are hot." And the same reason M&Ms with peanuts say "Caution: Contains peanuts."

At 5:37 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

Why is their braille on the keypad at the drive though ATM?

(I have know idea if I spelled 'braille' right this time...)

At 6:18 PM, Blogger Aen said...

[GM]Dave>> You wouldn't know what 'Dictionary' meant.
Guy>> Please pull up to the second window, sir.


You can tell you're becoming a great writer, Dave, when you can make us laugh even without FFXI-related material.

At 11:12 PM, Blogger Koorii said...

Yes that is one of those momments isn't it? Kind of like when I asked "What if the bible's just someones idea of a novel?"

...Anyway, that thought has the possibility of being a rather nice joke if, when you looked it up, it said "You're holding one, retard."

At 11:53 PM, Blogger Drew said...

I think it would be more ironic if the definition of dictionary WASN'T in the dictionary.

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Yousuf said...

To be honest the purpose of a dictionary isn't just there to explain the meaning of a word, but to help people to spell the world correctly, so that could be the reason it is in there. Hope that placates the gnawing of a brain tumour.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger John Henry DeJong said...

Note well, O Feeder of Dragons:

There is no symbol


for "symbol."

At 4:16 PM, Blogger Jan R said...

ive made a group for [GM]Dave blog, come and join:)

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Aximus Lokar said...

The spelling theory doesnt work either, seeing as it's right on the front cover >_>

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Henry said...


also, screw you John Henry DeJong, I don't need more of these things messing with my head

At 12:49 AM, Blogger King of Solomon said...

I figure it's just in there for completion's sake.

At 1:36 AM, Blogger Tommy said...

I think the definition of dictionary should be wrong in a dictionary, just to screw with people.

At 5:44 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...


that's one's easy. If you look at the ATM, there's usually a earphone jack. The blind plug in earphones & listen to the instructions, and use braille to tell the keys apart.

it's the braille on the ones at DRIVE-THRU atms I don't get.

At 8:03 AM, Blogger Marcio said...

Well, i'd assume ATM's were invented in either Japan or Europe.
As we know ppl in Japan and UK drive on the other side of the road.) It would only make sense that in those countries the passenger would have access to drive through ATMs and not the driver. It is only known for them to drive on the other side of the ST, not to have ATM machines or Drive throughs opposite of hours.

(That would make sense, if you read it how it was written) :O

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Kyle said...

It's there for Scrabble. If someone played the word "dictionary" in scrabble and the other person challenged them on it and it wasn't in the dictionary, then the player would lose his turn and not get the points.

I agree with the comment about it being comprehensive.

and I lol'd at the "you're holding one, retard"

At 11:53 AM, Blogger Zetsubou Sensei said...

why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

the reason why there's the cautions on the coffee and M&M peanuts is becuase of lawsuits filed against certain companies

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Zetsubou Sensei said...

because people don't understand that coffee is hot and peanut m&m's have peanuts

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Stephen said...

If it really bothers you that much...

You know, 'dictionary' has more than one meaning. It can also mean a list of codes and such for computer programming.

And also, a dictionary also has word pronunciations. What if someone didn't know how to pronounce dictionary, and wanted to look it up?

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Jeremiah said...

The word dictionary is in the Dictionary so it will be a more complete collection of words.

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Jeremiah said...

The reason there is brail on the ATM buttons in the drive through ATM's is because it is more cost effective to make only one set of buttons over and over as apposed to two different types.

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Jakk Frost said...

The spelling theory never made any sense to me. If you don't know how to spell a word, how can you look it up? Especially words that start with silent letters.

Sure, someone will say "Well you look it up phonetically, sound out the word and look based on your best guess of the spelling in order to find the exact spelling, using spelling rules you're familiar with".

Ok let's see. "Cycleogicle"... nope, not in there.

"Sikologicle"... nope

"Sicologicle"... still nothing.

get my point?

Now, if there were a book that listed words phonetically, in various possibilities, then listed the correct spelling, that would make more sense.

Would that still be a dictionary then, or would it be given a new name?

At 11:00 AM, Blogger Jakk Frost said...

By the way, yes I know psychological ends in -cal, but following what I believe to be the most common spelling rule, someone would be looking for -cle.


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