Sunday, May 04, 2008

A Promise

[GM]Dave does not make guarantees.

[GM]Dave does not make promises.

[GM]Dave's short attention span makes these things relatively useless.

But I am, just this once, going to make a promise.

I promise that if someone wins the Mog Bonanza and tries to sell the 100,000,000 gil, I will make it my mission in life to destroy that person.

I don't mean I'll ban you or feed you to a dragon or something.

That would be going easy on you.

A few days ago, I was browsing through a few FFXI forums and I was reading the usual Mog Bonanza threads.

This was to be expected as the lottery was kinda big news.

Then I saw an interesting post.

If I won the 100,000,000 gil, I'd probably sell it and make some cash.

You know, I thought I was an angry person.

Until I read that.

I thought my head was going to quite literally explode from sheer hatred.

Who the hell could be this monumentally stupid?

I hope this idiot wins the whole thing. I'll personally hand him the 100,000,000 gil and, when he sells it, I will personally end his pathetic existence.

Banning? That'll be an appetizer.

By the time I'm done, he'll be a broken shell of a man.

I may mean that figuratively.

My lawyer tells me that I should avoid making direct threats.

Like, I should definitely not say that I would fly to this person's house and smash them in the face with a sock full of nickels.

That would be wrong.

I would definitely never say that.

On an unrelated note, does anyone have fifty dollars worth of nickels?


At 8:21 PM, Blogger Sirus said...

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At 8:24 PM, Blogger Sirus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8:25 PM, Blogger Sirus said...

Sorry about the triple post, but i had to ask something else.

While you're at it, be sure and record it with frapps or something like that and post it up so we can see.

One question, What if it was Susan?

At 8:46 PM, Blogger Teelo said...

Good question.. Surely [GM]Dave would be above destroying his own wife... Right?

At 8:53 PM, Blogger jmccollum said...

Only $50 in nickels? I would personally use about $200 in change in general... in which case, I have just what you need.

At 10:14 PM, Blogger Locke said...

I really do hate to break it to you guys, but I really doubt [GM]Dave would even marry someone stupid enough to sell gil. Plus the fact from what we've last known Susan still plays the game a lot, so I think she'd rather swim in a pool of 100million gil with her character then sell it.

At 4:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tsk tsk.
Any more money's worth in nickles and he'd have trouble carrying it.
Best not to hurt yourself while doing something like that.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger Nymph said...

Even tho 100 million gil is approx worth 3-4 THOUSAND dollars, which yeah i can say i could use. Id think id much rather pimp it up virtually :D

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

Once again, we come to the point that buying/selling gil is one of the most retarded things you can do. If you want to earn in-game money so freaking easily, go play WoW, dammit! And as for the sellers, I can understand making money while playing a video game sounds like the perfect job, but really, you're ruining the economy of a game you supposedly enjoy playing. Are you REALLY helping anyone out? Go get a real goddamn job.

Anyways, if Susan won the 100 mil, there is NO WAY in hell she'd sell it. She'd keep it for all eternity, and tormenting Dave with it.
Susan>> Hey, Dave, could you lend me, oh, say, 99 million gil?
Susan>> Oh, wait, YOU DIDN'T WIN THE LOTTERY, I DID. My bad.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

THe correct amount of money to put in the sock, Dave, is the amount of money that selling that gil would net... better yet, steal his money, get his money changed to nickles and beat him to death with his own ill gotten gains~!

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Zombie said...

i think bannable offenses is a pretty cool guy, eh beats rmts and doesn't afraid of anything

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...


that comment has WIN. all the WIN ever.

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Brian said...

I don't play FFXI or any other online games so I'll freely admit I'm ignorant of most of the nuances; I'm just here to see people get fed to dragons. However, I was curious, and had to look it up, and unless my math is wrong that much "gil" is worth more than five grand, isn't it? Christ, you'd be crazy NOT to sell it!

What was that sound? Sounded like a throbbing blood vessel on someone's forehead bursting. Oh well, there's probably some finer point here I'm missing since I don't play.

Love your blog!

At 3:32 PM, Blogger quinn said...

it would be freaking sweet to win the gil, or get 5k$. but it would also suck horribly if they announce who won it. just imagine the amount of"PLZ JUST 2kk gil bro" or some other retarded way of begging.

At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think bannable offenses is a pretty cool guy, eh beats rmts and doesn't afraid of anything

gee.. where have i heard that particular style of speech before.. sounds much like somehing a g.faqs poster would say.

internet memes are so retarded.

Anyways... Where was this post you saw [GM]Dave? something that monumentally stupid sounds like an allatard.

At 10:34 PM, Blogger quinn said...

gee.. where have i heard that particular style of speech before.. sounds much like somehing a g.faqs poster would say.

internet memes are so retarded

can you explain that to the people like me who dont get it?

At 4:30 AM, Blogger Dilan said...


It basically goes like "i think (name of site/place and not person) is a pretty cool guy, eh (action) and doesn't afraid of anything"

It was first written by a guy who had bad grammar, and other people found it hilarious. Eventually spread to gamefaqs.

At 4:46 AM, Blogger Zombie said...



At 4:47 AM, Blogger Zombie said...

Also, @jhes

i think jhes is a pretty cool guy, eh hates memes and doesn't afraid of anything

At 5:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave, you missed one.

Seriously, Internet License, should be a law.

At 6:06 AM, Blogger Zombie said...


I sympathize, I really do. I hate it when people repeat the same joke over and over too. Oh crap, I forgot where I was.

Yes, Dave, ban me. I'm Phelan on Lakshmi.

At 5:13 PM, Blogger jason said...

sry... luv reading all your blogs. makes my life much easier... the one question is somewhere somehow i read a opinion u had on sch/rdm and for the life of me i cant fins it could u help me out ?

At 10:39 PM, Blogger quinn said...

ahhh, i think i get a south park joke now.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Butcherboy said...

I just have to say, this is why Chinese ring money is superior. I don't know why they don't use it anymore. Forget the sock, tie a few thousand yuan on a cord, and use it to beat the sucker to death. Oh, and the irony would be a nice touch.


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