Tuesday, January 30, 2007


I'm going to let you in a little secret now, okay?

Just between you and me.

Are you ready?

Here it is.

I don't have a lot of faith in the intelligence of others.

I know. I'll give you a second to contain your shock.

As you may have been able to figure out, I basically see human beings as two types of people:

1) complete morons

2) me

You really can't blame me though. Given the number of times I've had to deal with idiots, you're lucky I'm as nice as I am.

Think about that.

Now, I've told you before that you can often tell when something bad is going to happen.

It's like a sixth sense.

The leader of your party suggests something and your first thought is "Oh damn. We are so dead."

And you're usually right.

A few nights ago, a party leader made an interesting (read: functionally retarded) suggestion.

He wanted me to tank.

As a DRG.

Yes, tank.

Yes, a DRG.

For those of you who don't play this game, this would be like asking a butcher to fix your car for you.

But I decided to give it a shot. I was extremely bored and figured it might be good for a laugh.

Also, I needed something to write about.

The things I do for you, oh loyal reader.

So, we gather in Mount Zhayolm and the leader points at a Magmatic Eruca. A Magmatic Eruca that spits fire and can wipe half your HP in a good shot.

At least I won't be in the party long.

So, we get to work and my finger is literally hovering over the summon Jormy button. The second I die, that leader gets an important lesson on proper party formation.

Also, dragon digestive tracts.

So, the first fight ends. And I'm alive.

I actually had to look at the screen and figure out if I was perhaps hallucinating.

But, no. There I was, burnt and battered, but no worse for the damage.

Must have been lucky.

So, we fight another.

And another.

And another.

Before I know it, three hours have gone by and I haven't died once.

We actually made a fairly decent amount of exp.

I don't think I can explain how life changing that moment was for me. I had gone into it assuming the worst of the leader and expecting to die. It wasn't even a question in my mind.

And I had been ready to feed him to Jormy and ban him.

Shame on me.

I learned a valuable lesson about trusting others and that not everyone I meet will turn out to be a total fu...

Leader>> loldrg

I made Jormy eat him twice.


At 3:28 PM, Blogger Eticket109 said...

wyvern burns have become a norm of sorts in ToAU. they're by far the best party experiences I have ever had in the game. sad... ain't it.

whoa... did I get in first?

At 3:46 PM, Blogger Sherry said...

Haha! Nice post :D Not as silly as usual, still nice though xD

At 3:50 PM, Blogger Somnia said...

I like dragoon, specially elvaan drgs. ;) I got a weakness for them. I believe in their strength and skills. Sometimes.

And grilled wyvern wings are just too tasty! I wonder why my wyvern Wuffi is still alive...


drgs! yay!

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Da Bai said...

After a month of levelling PUP I promise never to laugh at another job ever again. And what evil genius at SE decided that pup/drg would be the best DD combination at higher levels? How the hell to I get a party as that? ^^

At 4:25 PM, Blogger DonovanNightwing said...

loldrg. heheh. the things people say without realizing the consequences.

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Sorsha said...

Well, Jormy was prolly hungry ^^

At 6:49 PM, Blogger Soren said...

I hate the loldrg.

<3 Dragoon. A lot.

Stupid people. Good thing you made Jormy eat him twice.

I'd make it three times.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Dantaro said...

*snrf* wow.....that was possible the greatest one of yours yet. it atleast ranks up there for sure.

At 8:31 PM, Blogger gamergrrl said...

Your lack of faith in the intelligence of others is what keeps us well amused.
It is also what keeps Jormy well fed.
All i have to do now is somehow wrap my head around the idea of you as a DRG. Somehow, that is a bit harder to envision than a world full of fools.

Though you as a WHM would have me standing with gun in hand, ready to meet my maker. For then the world would have truly gone mad.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger Tracy said...

explain please. what's wrong with loldrg?

At 9:39 PM, Blogger Mike said...

loldrg is a term used basically to make fun on the Dragoon job and how 'gimped' it is. Very common on forums and whatnot.

Don't bitch at me, I'm a 75 DRG, only thing holding us back is modifiers from what I can remember.

At 11:07 PM, Blogger Jed said...

So if my understanding of this is correct:

1) You were tanking as what I assume is normally an offtank class.
2) That's normally retarded.
3) It somehow worked.
4) The leader wasn't retarded at all.
5) Oh wait, never mind.

Give or take, yeah?

At 12:09 AM, Blogger Thecolorblue said...

Pretty much. The Dragoon, or DRG, is a melee damage job, DoT job for you WoWers, or DD for the FFXIers. It can wear medium armor, and has absolutly no other form of damage reduction, not even a decent evasion. There is no reason to expect a drg to be a successful tank in any fight with more than two people.

In fact, the biggest strength of the job is that it can dish out damage and then reduce its hate to let the tank keep aggro. Actually trying to keep hate completly negates many of the drg's signature abilities.

So I have to congratulate [GM]Dave on making it work. It would take a superior player to succeed as a loldrg tank. (And yes, my nose is brown)

At 12:13 AM, Blogger Tarage said...

Hey Dave,

Since you are leveling lolDRG now... maybe it is time you took your game to the next level...

You heard me.

RMT? Bah, too small. What you need is a big dose of the more laughable and pathetic thing one can do on FFXI.

You need to level PUP.

I can hardly wait. *grin*

At 6:17 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Being a 75 DRG, i can say i know where dave was coming from with that one.. at lvl 33 i had to tank dahlmels as DRG. It took 2 whms and the rdm in my party to keep me alive through one 7 minute fight..

At 6:23 AM, Blogger Ender said...

Well, I'm a 73loldrk...so I feel your pain ^.^

You really good player if you could tank at Zhayolm with a DRG.

Would be interesting to know thw full pt setup tho.

Any PUP? :P

At 9:28 AM, Blogger Locketaru said...

the loldrg has been replaced by lolpup <.<

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Jed said...

Drg sounds like a hunter in wow terms more than a doter. Keep the damage per second up then stop to keep the threat down. Dare I ask what a pup is?

At 11:18 PM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

PUP is Pupeteer, one of the new ToAU jobs.
you fight unarmed like a monk (but do less damage) and have an automaton puppet thats halfway between a Summon (which have useful abilities) and a beastmaster's tamed pet (which only ever party in BST only parties)

PUP is fun for about 12 levels then you fail at {Getting Dunes Invites}

DRG is a fun job, espp when done right. my LS boasted two very good DRG/WHMs. both Galkas. both very scary.

At 12:59 AM, Blogger Duodenum said...

PUP=Puppetmaster...same dif as puppeteer I guess.

At 8:04 AM, Blogger John said...


At 1:06 PM, Blogger Zorafin said...

Nice to see that you got your writing legs back. I'll admit that this one got me to laugh, which is a rare occurrence for me.

At 11:49 PM, Blogger Shinkada said...

Wow, he ALMOST escaped that one unscathed. There you go folks: Yet more proof that the myths about class restrictions are ridiculous. When I played WoW, oh, for about two months when it first came out then realized how crap it was, I think I was the only person in EXISTANCE who realized that, shock horror, Fury Warriors were monsters, and NOT just in PvE.

2 years down the track, people are posting Fury Warrior PvP videos like it's some kind of holy miracle, that the idea of a Fury Warrior actually being good in PvP is just unbelievable!



At 10:58 AM, Blogger Gambler_Justice[GJIG] said...

Love your blog, please keep on writing!

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Breese said...

Ah nice. Your new stuff seems to have a bit of a new feel to it, but I like it. Every great Dave, keep it up. If anyone is interested, I've started a blog. It's more like a story than a blog. All fiction. Feel free to check it and comment it. http://kojimaitikaze.blogspot.com/

At 2:08 PM, Blogger Breese said...

Damn, wrong link >< The blog is here . . . http://kojima-itikaze.blogspot.com/

At 11:47 PM, Blogger Argentos of Windurst said...

Damn, he almost made it...

At 9:32 PM, Blogger Zartavion said...

Yes Dave there are very few intellectually intelligent people left out there.....these days I'm surprised to find someone who isn't a complete moron....and I approve of your workings with Jormy my commendations...anyways I enjoy reading your blog to see just how dumb some people can be....and the consequences for a irrefutable action

At 4:44 AM, Blogger Hatcher said...

Dave its good to see you back... kinda had me worried for a minute there...

have a look at my blog guys and girls... i would appreciate your comments.


At 12:47 PM, Blogger k4emic said...

Why only twice? Jormy is starving you know.. Besides, seting the retard back to the level he is meant to be, which is level.. well.. retarded, he's probably soon gonna learn to shut the hell up.

Dave, don't listen to the nice voices, they're bad. There's no such things as civiliced and intelligent people. :3

At 6:48 PM, Blogger zerombr said...

he's got a point, I have yet to meet a civilized person on the internet

At 11:54 PM, Blogger Squirt said...

I LOVE Dragoons! They wear pretty purple armor. I LOVE purple!

Reeree says it's not nice to say things like loldrg and lolipup and that anyone who says lol should try self trepanation or something, but I'm not really sure what that means.

One time I met a guy who actually sounded like "lol lol lol" when he was laughing, so I said "Ha ha ha ha!" because that's how I laugh, only he wasn't really laughing, he was choking to death and it wasn't supposed to be funny.

Happy Valentione's Day, Dave. Reeree says she hopes you and Susan are still no wait I can't repeat those words! Anyway, don't be one of the crazy Singles standing around waiting to have adventurers deliver chocolates for moogles to spit on for you, Bye!

At 3:49 AM, Blogger Pyrolol said...

Squirt: 'Self trepanation' is drilling a hole in your own skull basically...

At 7:41 AM, Blogger Einhard said...

lolDRG my ass!
I've pt'd w/ some DRGs and they rock. I'm a DRG42 and i gave up due to lack of invites. DRG is an overlooked job and it's unfortunate.

But in any case, good to see that the Jormy is being well fed.

Still, i need a wyvern burn static or a duoing partner w/ my DRG. ^^

Keep up w/ this blog.

At 12:51 AM, Blogger Gatsu said...

How awesome lol. Ok get this I'm on my 48 DRG/War and we get to altepa it was an all jap party except the tank and I well the tank got sick of all the translations and characters so he bailed right as we got there. There was no one on at all. Now I have done alot of gaming but I was 2k from leveling. I suggested that I tank. There was some silence but it worked without a hitch no one died I tanked well the downside is you can't use your HJ or SJ but damn if you can dish out mad damage and have you finger on he provoke macro you can kick ass as a tank.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Mrdeath said...

loved the last part

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cevin Soling, perhaps better know as the leader of NY-based alternative punk, rock band The Love Kills Theory, announced the release of 'A Hole In The Head,' a documentary about trepanation - the process of boring a hole in the skull. Cevin Soling is the producer of the hour-long film, which won the Best Documentary Award at both the Atlantic City Film Festival and the Brooklyn International Film Festival. A Hole In The Head was broadcast on the Discovery and Learning Channels and is now available on DVD.

"I first became aware of trepanation through an interview with Paul McCartney who mentioned that John Lennon wanted to have it done and suggested that the two of them have the operation," recounted Cevin. "I later learned more from a book by author Donna Kossy who indicated the procedure might actually work to expand consciousness. It was the fact that it might have beneficial effects to enhance one's state of mind that intrigued me. Amazingly, no one had done a proper study to find out the veracity of the claims, so I decided to make the film to find an answer."


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