Monday, January 22, 2007

From The Desk Of [GM]Dave

To the Devs of FFXI,

This letter is intended for those developers that worked on or planned the newest FFXI expansion, ToAU. I'll let the rest of you get back to killing the Black Mage job.

While I don't usually question acts of unmitigated evil against the general player population, I must ask if this expansion is cruel enough. Sure, we have colibri that steal food effects, steal TP, and reflect magic, but is that really evil enough?

Perhaps we should make enemies that are impossible to see until you're already dead. If you even notice them, it's already too late. You can just kiss your ass goodbye.

Oh...

We got those...

Right.


What about a monster that makes you forget all of your job abilities and weaponskills? You know, an enemy that would make it almost impossible to get exp without numerous deaths.

Sounds good, right?

Oh, yeah.

Got those, too.

Damn.

What about a new event that has awesome gear and rewards, but starts you out with no magic?

Or weapons.

Or even clothes.

Basically, the whole event sets you back to level retarded. I mean, how evil is that?

Wait... Wait...

Did that one, too.

No, I think you're good. I think this expansion is about as evil as we can get at this point.

For the next expansion, I'm working on a new accessory that will actually kick the player in the groin at random intervals.

It's just like what you've done with the current expansion only more subtle.

Anyway, I'll let you get back to work. Those jobs aren't going to nerf themselves, you know.

Sincerely,
[GM]Dave

P.S. Can we have just one quest where you get to kick Shantoto in the teeth? Please?

34 Comments:

At 4:49 PM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

you whiney little emo bastard

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger Heifong said...

lmao

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger Dez Posener said...

Well, you've got to earn that 5% EXP bonus somehow.

 
At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WB dave

 
At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you here. Poor black mages can't level off Colibri. I pay 20k for food that I can't use. One way for a PLD to hold hate is through job abilities but can't do that when some flying monkey takes them away from me. It is not much fun. Good to see ya back though Dave.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger Heath said...

www.nexon.net


Play maple story, 2-D side scroller =]

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger Darien said...

Hehe very nice.

I've been reading this blog since almost the very beginning, and this is my first comment, god I'm lazy. Well, I love you and your cynical/pessimistic/sadist posts Dave.

that is all.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

People hype up that damn sanction bonus so much. Its +5 xp for every 100 you earn. NOT THAT GREAT

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

Yes, they have screwed over all black mages ;_;

 
At 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao nice dave....theyre so mean to us, but yes we need a quest to kick her in the teeth! And the random groine kick item...cool stuff

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger codemasterda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger codemasterda said...

Now you ruined all mmy chances of going to aht urghan, I think I will stay on the main continent where I am safe from evil things that eat my abilities.

 
At 10:47 PM, Blogger Soren said...

Shantoto is evil...

Good one, [GM]Dave. Glad to see you've got your spark back! Always excited to see another post :)

 
At 5:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eating of abilities is bad. So bad.

Well atleast I'm still wearing some clothes.

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger shingui of cerberus said...

"P.S. Can we have just one quest where you get to kick Shantoto in the teeth? Please?"

don't we all just agree to this?

 
At 8:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back Dave.

And not just those damned flying monkeys, all the snake ladies have a maneuver that wipes out your job abilities ... and can turn you on your own party members to boot!

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Dragos_kai said...

Fretion: you say it like that is a bad thing, I PRAY that they charm a bad tank or a stupid DD, then I shoot a -ga spell ... mwahahaha

 
At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I lol'd =)

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger paduse said...

Well said, Dave... Well said. These guys are developing the fun out of your little game... and your readers wonder why I switched to WOW?

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger Julia said...

Well hey wait a second, you forgot to ask if we could have any more lag in Aht Urgahn Whitegate.

Of course, we really don't need it, but adding more would be very cruel indeed.

Glad to see you are back.

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

LOL good to see you are back Dave. I may be taking a break from FFXI, I can stll appreciate a good Shantoto teeth-kicking.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Taomage said...

Its not often that I post.

Its EXTREMELY not often that I post a correction on a popular blog.

But I am sick and tired of every single fucker out there saying Colibri Reflect magic.

Now, this may be a mundane detail, but it doesn't mean I should it back and let people bask in ignorance.

Reflect is a spell that, when cast, it reflects all magic cast upon it back at the caster (attacker). The defended take no damage, and it does not require him to cast the spell back at the attacker.

Mimicing, however, is a skill or ability that allows you to take an attack/spell and MIME it. You still get hit by said spell, but you have the ability to use that spell.


So, an example

Full party. PLD, WHM, BLM, THF, DRG, and BLU (just for an example). Lets say the PLD has full hate. BLM casts Blizzard. If it were TRUE reflect, the blizzard spell would not hurt the colibri, it would bounce back and hit the black mage without the colibri having to cast anything. Instead, what happens, as we all have seen, is that the BLM casts, the colibri takes damage, and he then MIMICS the spell, casting it on the person who has the most hate (in this case, the Paladin).


Thus ends my argument, and anyone who clings to the definition of Reflect concerning colibri is obviously incapable of intelligent thought.


And why does this matter, some of you will ask? Why do I waste my time trying to give these people knowledge? Because no improvement has ever been made without trying. If I sit back and let people act in ignorance, I am perpetuating stupidity. And I'm not about that.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

wow your a nerd.

Girlfriend Do you need it?

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Julia said...

^^ LOL.

Technicalities ... it's still annoying as shit to fight Colibri.

 
At 11:47 PM, Blogger Taomage said...

A girlfriend, you say?

Let me run it by my wife, she what she thinks.


Insulting me doesn't change the fact that what I said needed to be said. Now that I have attempted to show the facts to people, their inability to call it by what it is no longer falls under the category of ignorance. It falls under stupidity.

And I never claimed NOT to be a nerd.

 
At 12:09 AM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

I choked on my own spit while laughing at the following lines:

"For the next expansion, I'm working on a new accessory that will actually kick the player in the groin at random intervals.

It's just like what you've done with the current expansion only more subtle."

Genius! {Welcome back.}

 
At 12:19 AM, Blogger AJ said...

Hahaaa - quality.

 
At 7:18 AM, Blogger Amyalfrodo said...

Welcome back, Dave! Nice to see you. As for the black mage "nerf"...pshh ok. What other job can go solo wamoura princes for 5k xp an hour? (if not more, my numbers may be wrong) I don't feel bad for the black mages in the least. Although those JA stealing monkeys ARE quite annoying to we plds.

 
At 7:36 AM, Blogger shingui of cerberus said...

'Taomage said...
Mimicing, however, is a skill or ability that allows you to take an attack/spell and MIME it. You still get hit by said spell, but you have the ability to use that spell.'

First Miming is a FORM of reflecting a weaker form but still a form and its not a sill or ability its a TRAIT which the colibris happily have passivly on them.

dude don't get bogged down by technicalities

 
At 8:09 AM, Blogger Kerensky said...

Kerensky: 75 rdm 75 blm.... exc

So far I have been unhappy with ffxi, how unhappy? enough that even my computer isn't working with it right now. (that is my computer is so very unhappy with ffxi it won't run)

What hav I don't to combat this force of evil.. Played city of vilans.. now it's

Kerensky 75 rdm 75 blm 50 ninja master mind 50 robot master mind..

now if only I could take my charictor from cov and bring it to ffxi...

yes yes, welcome back gm dave..

and ps: shouldn't blm's have reflect?

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

[GM]Dave..I am waiting for them to give all female WHM's "PMS" job ability...be afraid...be very afraid. At last people will fear the WHITE MAGE of DEATH

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Shinkada said...

Fucking AWESOME welcome-back-post. This is going up there with the first mother-related post as one of my favourites. You really are at your best when you just feel like it.

 
At 1:46 AM, Blogger Robin said...

You rule, welcome back

 
At 12:41 AM, Blogger Forg said...

Kicking Shantoto isn't enough - I want the blasted triplets from CoP as well.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home