Tough LoveA lot of people ask me why I'm so mean to people.
And then I hit them.
The simple reason for my meanness is that you need me to be mean.
It's the only way you're going to learn anything.
Here's a quick look at what the world would be like if [GM]Dave started being nice to people.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> What can I help you with today?
Player>> I have a problem.
[GM]Dave>> No problem, sir.
[GM]Dave>> I'll get right on it.
Player>> Thank you.
[GM]Dave>> You're welcome.
Isn't that just plain sick?
I mean, what in the hell did that player just learn?
Did they learn self-reliance? No.
Did they learn to handle adversity? No.
Did they learn to cope with disappointment? No.
Did they learn to leave me the hell alone? No.
That was a complete waste of time.
Our relationship is a good one. We're there for each other. We both care about what the other person thinks.
That's a healthy relationship.
(Disclaimer: [GM]Dave is neither there for you nor does he care what you think.)
Occasionally, I have to smack you around. I don't like doing it, but sometimes I have no choice.
Actually... I do like doing it. A lot. And I usually do have a choice, but go with the smacking around anyway. Sometimes I even have to go out of my way to initiate the smacking around.
But it's all for your own good.
And by "your own good", I mean "my own good".
And isn't that what we really care about?
Some people will only learn to become contributing members of society through my complex system of random acts of cruelty and dragon-related violence.
Also, it makes me giggle.
Just this afternoon, I had to have a serious discussion with a player about our relationship. He was getting a little clingy and I needed some space.
GM Call Description: Want to report a fish botter.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> We need to talk.
Player>> I know.
Player>> I called you.
[GM]Dave>> Good, good.
[GM]Dave>> At least we both know there's a problem.
Player>> Of course we do.
Player>> What's the matter with you?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, so now it's my fault?
Player>> What are you talking about?
[GM]Dave>> I'm talking about us.
[GM]Dave>> We have a serious problem.
[GM]Dave>> You don't validate my role in our relationship.
Player>> Our relationship?
[GM]Dave>> You take me for granted.
Player>> Can I speak with another GM please?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, that's how it is?
[GM]Dave>> You want to see other people.
Player>> I just want to report a fish botter.
Player>> That's it.
[GM]Dave>> What did you call me?
Player>> Dear lord.
[GM]Dave>> I think we need some time apart.
Player>> What does that mean?
Player>> Oh shi...
Jormungand hits Player for 15,774 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> Why do you make me hit you?
After that, we decided it would be best if we didn't see each other for a while.
That shouldn't be too hard to accomplish though as I deleted all of his characters, closed his account, reported his credit card stolen, and forwarded his name to a credit agency.
Still, though, it was for his own good.
I'm not sure why, but it's the thought that counts.