[GM]Dave: Caring Partner
Many of my readers (particularly the females) have been asking how Susan is doing.Remember Susan?
Yeah, she's still pregnant.
No, I have not pushed her down any stairs.
Today, though, I got to experience one of the most amazing events of my life. I actually got to see my baby for the first time.
This was accomplished despite the fact that the baby is still inside Susan.
No, I did not shove a camera in there to look at the baby.
Susan said no.
Plus, I have no idea what that could do to my digital camera. The instructions say not to take it out in the rain. I really don't think it's designed to be inserted into the human uterus.
Still, I thought it might make for a cute picture.
[GM]Dave>> And here's another picture of you.
[GM]Dave>> This is you next to Mommy's kidney.
[GM]Dave>> How sweet.
We made it to the doctor's office (despite the morons that infest the highway) and sat down in the exam room.
Well... I was sat down. Susan was lying on a table with her feet up in stirrups.
Is it wrong that I got a little excited at that?
That's when a nice nurse walked in.
(Bow Chikka Wow Wow)
[GM]Dave>> Excuse me, nurse.
[GM]Dave>> Is the doctor going to be much longer?
You know something funny? Women doctors look a lot like women nurses.
You know who doesn't find that funny? Women doctors.
Man, she got angry. You'd think a woman in a professional position would be more understanding.
Must be that time of the month.
I kid, I kid.
Anyway, when we got that out of the way, the doctor rubbed some jelly onto Susan's abdomen (Bow Chikka Wow Wow) and then set up the sonogram machine. A little screen next to her lit up and there, in front of me, was a picture of my baby.
It was incredible.
It was amazing.
It was... blurry as all holy hell.
I had no freaking clue what I was looking at. It was gray with dark gray blotches and light gray blotches.
What a glorious age we live in.
Still, being me, I couldn't actually admit that I had no idea what I was looking at. Guys don't do that.
Instead, I decided to wing it.
[GM]Dave>> Oh wow.
[GM]Dave>> That's amazing.
Susan>> You see it?
[GM]Dave>> Sure, I do.
[GM]Dave>> It's right there.
Susan>> Where?
Uh oh.
Was she testing me or did she really not know where it was either?
Could I honestly keep deceiving her about such an important event in our lives?
[GM]Dave>> Right there toward the center of the screen.
Of course I could.
What are you, new?
Susan>> Can you show me?
Crap.
[GM]Dave>> ... Uhh...
[GM]Dave>> Maybe the doctor should explain.
Crisis averted.
Susan>> No, no, honey.
Susan>> I want you to show me.
[GM]Dave>> Oh...
[GM]Dave>> Oh... kay.
So, I stepped over to the screen to get a closer look at it.
Didn't help a bit.
[GM]Dave>> This is the... head.
Susan>> Really?
Susan>> Can you see anything else?
[GM]Dave>> Uhhh... Sure, I can.
[GM]Dave>> That's a leg right there.
Susan>> Can you tell if it's a boy or girl?
[GM]Dave>> The leg?
Susan>> The baby, silly.
[GM]Dave>> Let me check.
Now, I have no idea what I'm looking for/at.
[GM]Dave>> I can't tell.
Susan>> What do you mean you can't tell?
[GM]Dave>> There's stuff in the way.
[GM]Dave>> You know... The stuff.
Susan>> ...
Susan>> You don't see anything do you?
[GM]Dave>> Sure, I do.
[GM]Dave>> There's the baby's hand.
Susan>> You just said that was a leg.
[GM]Dave>> Whatever.
Susan>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Fine.
[GM]Dave>> I don't see anything.
[GM]Dave>> I mean, look at that picture.
[GM]Dave>> What kind of video card does this thing have?
Susan>> Why didn't you say something?
[GM]Dave>> Same reason I do most other things.
[GM]Dave>> I have no friggin' clue.
Susan>> I can't believe you lied.
Doctor>> Excuse me.
Susan>> You could have just said something.
[GM]Dave>> Where's the fun in that?
Doctor>> Excuse me.
Susan>> You're ridiculous.
Doctor>> Knock it off!
Doctor>> I'm trying to talk here.
Whoops. Forgot she was here.
After that, the doctor went through the picture with us. It was really interesting.
And by "interesting," I mean "boring as hell."
Still, I finally got to see my baby. My beautiful, beautiful baby.
At least... I think I saw my baby.
Honestly, that gray blotch could have been anything.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 8:01 PM
10 Comments:
yoyoyo in color dat mess would be str8 up gross looking yo! mad azz pink everwhere n shid! gross yo!
What?! I can't believe you can't see it. I have no problem making out those images. Maybe I have an untapped talent or maybe it's just part of my womanly instincts to be able to decipher those things. Idk but I love the baby talk.
hmmm, i think it's probably still to soon to tell yet what the baby is. (is she at the end of the first trimeseter?) congratulations on being able to see your baby, even if you didn't "see" it.
They need to sharpen the image. Its like they're running on 98 or something with a 64 mb card. I hated my pictures. Rawr.
Are you going to get a miniature GM helmet made for the little tyke? ^^
Congratulations Dave. I have to wonder, with your Hollywood star-like appeal (at least to me), are you going give your child a name like Sean or maybe Liz? Or will you lean more towards fruit-like names and word combinations like Apple, Dweezil or Moon Unit?
On a seperate note, I love this blog.
Awesome blog! Congratulations with 'seeing' the baby!
[GM]Dave>> I mean, look at that picture.
[GM]Dave>> What kind of video card does this thing have?
Rofl. Great sentence. <3 the blog!
Hi, i'm just here to defend James and his friend. No, i'm not james, anyways, it's not funny to say such things and waste ur time reading about him, sure go and enjoy yourself, by the way, by saying that someone is a retard, means he really sucks at english. And anyways, the people that keep saying you fail at life! ya sure, you havn't meeted them yet. My brother gave me this adress, and i went in on it, and readed about the things James said. I can't really understand how you can defend [GM]Dave, you all know it's not for real, seriously. I think he's just a stupid fag never reached level 75 and kept bragging that he's a GM, i bet you heard a Gm's problem and decided to start a blogg about it, you can't say people fail at life, i mean wtf. Your working in a game for god sake. You're the one that fail at life. I bet most will defend [Newbie]Dave, and say that i fail at life etc. Sure say that, but it's not true. I have a wonderful life. By the way i'm from sweden, make up something about that, please. I mean you keep making up things, just make up something else about this post.
By the way Dave, you sir, fail at life. That ain't a lie anyways, sorry.
Gl with your thief or whatever class you're playing, james.
Be happy that you got so many comments, liar. Hope a girl rapes you, loser.
By the way, Jennifer, yes you, you look like shit, seriously, i bet you lost your virganity with a loser like dave.
yeah i had a 3d one. my insurance covered it..(prolly cuz i had complications ; ;) but i had a 3d every week... and the ugly grey one >.< for a pic they charged me like 10 buck :) i got two. CONGRATULATIONS!! on yur lil girl :) i had a lil girl too ^^
be good and keep feeding the dragon. or he'll run away :D
-Payyn
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