Bannable Offenses

[GM]Dave Marathon - Vol. 3

Alternate Title: "Ninja Vanish!"

In my on-going quest to be Hokage, I decided it was time to camp for a Jujitsu Gi.

I knew this might take a while to get, so I figured I'd start nice and early and hopefully have it by the time I hit 40.

Shouldn't be too hard, though. It's not like anyone camps the Jujitsu Gi.

Ha.

Haha.

AHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm here all week, folks. Try the veal.

Seriously, this is a really nice piece of gear for a Ninja, so I knew I'd have to fight tooth and nail to get it.

I get to Davoi and do a quick search of the area. Only 6 other people.

All in a party together.

And all of their names are random combinations of letters.

Gee... I wonder who they might be.

Still, I might have a shot, so I ran over to Poisonhand's spawn area.

Poisonhand drops the Gi, by the way.

Go read a book or something. I can't keep explaining these things to you people.

So, I'm at his spawn point and I'm looking at five other players all standing in a circle. The sixth guy is standing over at Tigerbane's spawn.

As I am not in the market for a new axe, I chose to let him live.

Now, Poisonhand is a lottery spawn, so you have to kill orcs in the area to get him to appear. Strangely, the five "players" are not doing any killing.

How odd.

I go to work and start killing placeholder orcs. That's when I notice them starting to follow me.

Great. Not only do I find gil sellers, I find lazy gil sellers.

Perfect.

So, while I got about killing all of the placeholders, these bastards start to spread out to grab the NM if he spawns. Even if my timing were perfect, I'd still be facing off against five other people.

This did not look good.

But does [GM]Dave admit defeat?

Oh.

Hell.

No.

When the going gets tough, [GM]Dave feeds people to a dragon.

First, though, I decided to have a little fun.

I quickly log out and log back in on my GM account. A quick warp to Davoi and we're ready to play our game.

I check and find Poisonhand is about to spawn.

Excellent.

So, I turn myself perma-invis and head on over to the spawn point.

Poisonhand appears and all five of the gil sellers go batshit crazy. For a bunch of guys who couldn't be bothered to kill the placeholders, they sure can run fast.

Just as one of them draws their weapon to claim, I make a few key presses...

And Poisonhand warps to the other side of the clearing.

They stopped for a second, obviously confused, and then turned to chase him down.

Warp.

Again with the chasing.

Warp.

Man, those guys just don't give up. As a matter of fact, they seem to be getting a little closer each time.

Warp.

Almost had it that time. I'll give them credit. They were trying damned hard to get claim.

Warp.

Uh oh. Where's he gone now?

There he is!

Warp.

Nope. Gone.

Each time I warped him around the area, they seemed to get a little faster. Pretty soon, they'd probably get claim anyway.

Oh deary me. What is [GM]Dave to do?

I press a few keys and warp Poisonhand again.

Unfortunately, they were too quick for me. Poisonhand spawns right in the middle of the clearing and their Paladin grabs him with voke before I can warp him again.

I guess they won this round.

Wait...

That doesn't look like Poisonhand.

That looks more like Jormungand.

Huh...

My bad.

Their little party gets torn to shreds. And then the shreds get torn into smaller shreds.

And then those smaller shreds get torn into...

You know what? They got torn up a lot.

Let's just leave it at that.

After that, I really didn't have that much trouble getting claim.

It's pretty easy when your main source of competition is home crying our the burnt ruins of a modem.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:29 AM