After spending about a half a million gil on my chocobo, the damned thing was still level retarded.
It was poor in everything, was plain yellow, and ran about as fast as an obese Galka.
All in all, I was not impressed.
I decided to retire that chocobo and focus all of my efforts on a new one.
Rather than leaving it to chance, though, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I sought out two incredible parent chocobos.
The father was sleek, black chocobo. He was built for strength and endurance. I have no idea what kind of steroids the player was feeding this thing, but I really don't give a damn.
Also, this will prepare him should he want to be a baseball player.
The mother was a perfect blue chocobo. Her owner had raised her for speed and stamina.
Both owners charged me a hefty price for their cards. I honestly don't blame them, though. Given the amount of work both of them must have out in to their chocobos, they actually deserved it.
Still, I had cards from two of the best chocobos on the server.
Sounds perfect, right?
So, I get a card from each parent, book some "breeding time" for the two and sit back and wait for my egg. This is the beauty of the chocobo bredding system. I just tell them when and the two chocobos get right down to it and make me an egg.
Bow chikka wark wark.
The next day, I got my nice, new warm egg.
This egg would no doubt hatch and create the ultimate chocobo. It would be either black or blue, built to be strong and fast, and will be able to do the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.
What could go wrong?
The egg hatched and out popped my new baby chick. How cute.
And I care for the thing.
Oh, forget about leveling or Dynamis runs, or all that other silliness. I need to spend my time walking my chocobo.
But I did it. It sucked, but I did it.
And I waited.
Finally, today I log in to check on my baby chocobo. But, oh no, he's not a baby anymore.
He's finally reached adolesence.
And look at him. Look at those strong legs and black wing tips.
That black looks awfully white to me.
Must be something weird going on. White wing tips mean it's just a plain old yellow chocobo.
Obviously, there must be something wrong. There's no way my perfect creation could end up a normal yellow chocobo.
Okay, okay. Don't panic.
You didn't5 get a good color, but the traits on the thing must be spectacular.
Let's have a quick...
Did they redefine "substandard" to mean really freakin' good?
To recap: I obtain a useless yellow chocobo. So, I spent half a million gil raising a useless yellow chocobo.
I then spend a small fortune on chocobo breeding cards.
I then spend even more money raising a new baby chick.
And what do I get?
A useless yellow chocobo.
Man, that was so worth it.
On an unrelated note, I have to go run an electromagnet over all of the servers.