Thursday, November 02, 2006

Ba Dum Pssshhh

Okay, I'll admit it. Today was not my best day.

I was up all night playing FFXII and I was very, very tired this morning. I was not in the mood to listen to people bitch and moan.

Instead, I decided to just drive people insane.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Want to hear a joke?
Player>> No... Not really.
Player>> I kind of have a serious...
[GM]Dave>> A Dark Knight walks into a bar...
[GM]Dave>> And the bar defeats the Dark Knight.
Player>> ...
[GM]Dave>> What would you get if a Taru and a Galka could mate?
Player>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> A pretty sore Taru.
Player>> ...
Player>> That's not really funny.
[GM]Dave>> What's the only thing worse than a gil seller?
Player>> ... I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> I couldn't think of one either.
Player>> Please stop.
Player>> I need help with som...
[GM]Dave>> Did you know I used to work at a slaughterhouse?
Player>> ... No.
[GM]Dave>> I learned to use a hammer.
Player>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Moo... Thunk.
Player>> That's... That's disgusting.
[GM]Dave>> Eh, it wasn't that bad.
[GM]Dave>> I always felt bad for the guy who made the chicken nuggets.
[GM]Dave>> Those baby chicks just won't sit still.
Player>> ...
Player>> Stop.
Player>> Please stop.
[GM]Dave>> I had a magic kit when I was a kid.
[GM]Dave>> It had all of these cool tricks and a door with a lock.
[GM]Dave>> Unfortunately, I lost the key.
[GM]Dave>> That poor, poor bunny.
Player>> I'm going to go now.
[GM]Dave>> A DRG, a PLD, and a BLM are in Garlaige.
[GM]Dave>> They come up to a locked door, but can't get it open.
Player>> You can stop now.
Player>> I'm logging out.
[GM]Dave>> They try to find a way to open it with no luck.
[GM]Dave>> Suddenly, the DRG picks up the BLM...
[GM]Dave>> And smashes him into the door.
[GM]Dave>> The DRG says "Isn't that what we do? Just throw BLMs at any problem?"
[GM]Dave>> Funny, huh?
[GM]Dave>> Hello?

Your tell could not be received. The other player has logged out, uninstalled the game and is right now using a power drill to purge their brain.

That was oddly satisfying.


At 11:49 AM, Blogger token black guy said...

word up dogz!! i got first post yoall can lick mah ballz wewt!! holla back wodies!!!!

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Xan said...

That was the most random thing I've read all morning.

At 11:53 AM, Blogger Angelsilver said...

try the vealkabob!

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Shayde said...




[GM]Dave needs a nap.

/em hands [GM]Dave a blanky & a teddy bear

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Dandruffshampoo said...

The DRG PLD BLM joke was awesome. One of the few "job job job" jokes I've heard that wasn't just an ethnic joke with search & replace. Love your work, keep it up. :D

At 1:11 PM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

{Sleep} {Do you need it?}

At 1:27 PM, Blogger Canadibrit said...

Much love for the DRG/PLD/BLM joke. Though it makes me really not want to party in Garlaige, me with my eminently ballistic and highly throwable Taru BLM...

I dunno. Some players have no patience. I'd have stuck around for the random GM jokes alone.

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At 1:58 PM, Blogger Esined said...

Moo.. thunk.

I lol'd at that!

At 3:09 PM, Blogger paduse said...

A few years back I saw a pretty odd photoshop... your taru/galka joke brought back the mental picture like a charm. It depicted Andre the Giant and rather distressed little dwarf girl. He was sitting on a sofa facing the camera with one of those waterhead grins of his. She was suspended in mid air on his "hoohoodilly", her legs were straight and her feet still had 3-5 inches before touching down. I'm pretty sure this is what it would be like.

Hugs and Kisses!


At 3:41 PM, Blogger Scott Reed said...

I have a bad feeling that something bad is going to happen to bad people everywhere.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Vehnd said...

Hmmm, thats the name of the most recent Penny-Arcade strip too...

At 4:22 PM, Blogger Hutea said...

word up dogz!! i got first post yoall can lick mah ballz wewt!! holla back wodies!!!!

No one cares. Really.

[GM]Dave>> The DRG says "Isn't that what we do? Just throw BLMs at any problem?"

Ok, I laughed out loud. And I will probably use the RMT joke at least once. ^^

Keep up the good work [GM]Dave. :)

At 4:24 PM, Blogger shelby said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:25 PM, Blogger shelby said...


you're my hero.

At 5:46 PM, Blogger NooBStudenT said...

[GM]Dave>> That poor, poor bunny.

Hell yes!

Now I know why we run into mental rabbits all through the game.

Keep up the great work [GM]Dave!

At 7:20 PM, Blogger Ryuusuke said...

OMG that was just to funny im still laughing now umm back to ffXII :P

At 10:32 PM, Blogger Ichiroson said...


At 11:32 PM, Blogger Taeryunn said...

Wow.. random..

I was going to copy/paste some quote to point out the genius, but the entire post had my laughing this time.. each crack more classic than the next..


At 4:20 AM, Blogger token black guy said...

yo! fer real doh holla at me. aight? holla at me.

At 6:54 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

[GM]Dave>> The DRG says "Isn't that what we do? Just throw BLMs at any problem?"


At 5:08 PM, Blogger Demon420 said...

This is possibly your funniest post ever.

/em rolls.

"Isn't that what we do? Throw BLMs at our problems??"
My BLM friend and I lol'd.

"That poor, poor bunny."


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