The Perfect Night
It was...It was beautiful.
First, we had maintenance. That's always a bright spot for us GMs.
It's not because we don't like you guys.
We don't, but that's not the reason.
The thing is that our days really never stop. It's call after call after drink after call and sometimes it can start to burn you out.
We had one guy... Well, let's just say he had a bad morning.
They tell me if you ring a bell anywhere near him, he'll spontaneously start to scream and wet himself.
Maintenance is the rare time for us to slow down and relax, to actually sit back and enjoy what we do.
Not to mention it's really easy to get crafting materials when the guilds are all empty.
It's our time to decompress and recharge our batteries. With alcohol.
So, we're doing our usual maintenance thing. There were various small parties going on around the office and there was a certain amount of liquid being ingested.
It may or may not have been alcohol. I'm not going to say.
One group of guys was sitting around a bank of computers. They were all logged into a server and were watching Mee Deggi the Punisher.
They just sat there and didn't attack it and giggled to themselves.
Another group of guys was doing some dat file swapping on one of the computers.
There is nothing funnier than seeing a Mandragora cast Meteor.
Now, things were fine that way. We were having a great time and were even content to go back to work when the maintenance ended.
That's when our supervisor came in and told us that they were shutting down the GM system for a brief time after the maintenance.
O_O
>_<
O_O
The crowd broke out into a riotous cheer and the supervisor left us to our partying.
Big mistake.
Not ten minutes later, the place was a total madhouse. Papers were being thrown about. Our semi-casual dress code had given way to a disturbing lack of pants.
One guy had a metal garbage bucket on his head and was just walking around pointing at people and screaming "BANNED! BANNED!"
I was sure someone was going to die.
Actually... We haven't seen Greg the copy boy this morning...
After a few hours of this (and some faxing of possibly nude body parts to the guys over at WoW), the party was just starting to wind down. Bodies were strewn haphazardly all over desks and chairs.
That's when the supervisor leaned in again and said
Supervisor>> Oh, by the way...
Supervisor>> We're banning 1,400 accounts today.
Supervisor>> Just FYI.
O_O
>_<
O_O
There are no words to describe what followed. An army of GMs swarmed to their computers, their tired fingers flying effortlessly over keys.
It would have brought tears to my eyes if it hadn't been for the still disturbing lack of pants.
Martial law fell over Vana'diel for a few hours there. Account after account after account were erased from existance.
I want to deal with each one personally, but there were just so many to handle.
Still, those that were online got a short message from me.
[GM]Dave>> You fail at life.
[GM]Dave>> kthxbai
When all 1,400 accounts were left in ruin, exhaustion swept through the crowd.
Our shift ended in a slow migration of people with half-lidded eyes looking for their pants so they could go home.
I think it was a good night for everyone.
Still... I'm starting to wonder about Greg.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 5:30 PM
12 Comments:
Wow Dave, that sounds like you were prematurely sent to heaven.
Or became qaulity control for hell.
Hee hee... Vehnd is silly.
You can't escape stupid people.
Don't worry about Greg. He's still faxing body parts to the WoW team at Blizzard.
Nice one you're back to the old ways. (BTW thanks for not ending the post with some crap like "and then i woke up")
yo stop dissin dave yo! who da fuk iz you G? dave is juz tryin to write n make it in diz world and u iz guinna hate??! damn nikka datz shady az hell yo..
I'll bet it felt like Christmas to you Dave!
Do any women work there?
[GM]Dave>> You fail at life.
[GM]Dave>> kthxbai
This more than made up for the lack of Jormy antics.
Shoot
We american programmers only drink Mountain Dew. And a late night party only involves ordering pizza.
Must find new job
Best. Post. EVER! XD
Never believe random, bad-spelling idiots online. They never have their facts straight.
I sometimes do wonder if the various GMs from different MMOs ever get together and talk. That would be interesting, I think. Imagine the horror stories!
Dude, I play WoW, and after reading this hilarious blog, I'm really glad we dont have GM's like dave, but at the same time, I share Dave's personality and joy in this kind of abuse of morons, so while I'm glad we at WoW dont have a GM Dave, Im really glad you guys do cause it makes me laugh.
I play both WoW and FFXI, and I have noticed the ratio of retard to normal people is slightly higher in WoW. As in typing /join trade automatically drains 30 points of IQ from the player. And anyone ever been on the losing team in a battleground? The retards screaming "U guyz suxorz" ..Yeah...
[GM]Dave makes me laugh. Nice to know retards somewhere are being fed to a dragon.
Post a Comment
<< Home