Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Hard Decision

I spent a great deal of time this weekend reflecting on things and I've come to a conclusion.

I really haven't enjoyed writing this blog for some time now. It's becoming increasingly more frustrating having to try and crank out an update each and every night only to have people throw it back in my face and tell me it's not funny.

This blog was supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Something to make me laugh while giving you something to read.

Because of the way things have gone, it feels more like a job than a hobby and one that I honestly do not enjoy.

Thus, I have decided to stop writing this blog.

I will always appreciate those readers that took the time to drop me a line or make a comment to give me some support. I know I'm not the best writer (or even a good one according to some), but it was always nice to know someone liked it.

I hope you enjoyed reading these stories as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Goodbye.



Just kidding.

Oh, c'mon. That was funny.

Put the gun down.

As if I could let you guys wallow in an existence without [GM]Dave. That would just be inhumane.

Anyway, on with the show.

Seriously. Put the gun down.

After such a craptacular weekend, it was honestly nice to be able to sit down and play again.

Nothing can take care of your troubles like a nice, relaxing session of partying.

Unfortunately, my party today was neither nice nor relaxing.

Hmm... How would I describe my party today?

Oh, yes.

Retarded.

How many people saw that one coming?

I joined this party and right away, I had a feeling something was wrong. I did a quick check of my party members and was not surprised to find out I was right.

[GM]Dave>> Umm...
[GM]Dave>> Why don't we have a White Mage?
Leader>> It's okay.
Leader>> I've got a Summoner on the way.
[GM]Dave>> That's weird.
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember asking about a Summoner.
[GM]Dave>> I thought I asked about a White Mage.
Leader>> The Summoner is going to heal.

Oh lord.

We've all been in that party where the leader makes a decision like this. You have that feeling that you're going to die, but at the same time, it could possibly work.

So you stay.

At certain levels, a Summoner can actually be an adequate healer.

Just don't confuse the word "can" with the word "will".

I know a lot of Summoners hate to heal. I mean they decided to play Summoner, not White Mage.

I mean, White Mages usually sub Black Mage, but we don't ask them to stand in the back and nuke rather than healing.

And we don't ask the Dark Knights to tank just because they have Warrior subbed. That would take their attention away from standing in the front and missing.

Now, I can tell many of you think this is going to be a Summoner-healer rant about some retard who was too good to be a healer.

It's not.

Man, if a Summoner doesn't want to heal, that's cool by me. It's his choice.

[GM]Dave>> Does he know he's going to be main healing?
Leader>> Yeah.
Leader>> He said he would heal in his search comment.

No, no. Today's rant is about people who agree to heal and then do a shitty job of it.

And then bitch about it.

I don't know if a bunch of really crappy White Mages decided to become really crappy Summoners or if maybe becoming a Summoner may involve several blows to the head, but a lot of Summoners that CAN heal just DON'T heal well.

So, this Summoner gets to camp and I am surprisingly optimistic. His gear isn't great, but it is passable.

And he's wearing pants.

You may laugh, but I'm pretty sure every one of us has had a mage show up without pants before.

I started to think that this could actually work.

Five minutes later, I once again realize why I don't like people.

Let me set the stage for you. We have a Ninja tanking. For those of you who don't know, Ninjas tank by using magic.

Some of the mobs we're fighting like to cast Silence on players.

Now, let's do some math.

Silence + Ninja Tank = Dead Party

But even a terrible White Mage is smart enough to cast Silena to remove the Silence, right?

Right?

Of course they are.

Unfortunately, we didn't have a terrible White Mage.

We had a terrible Summoner.

Five minutes go by and my whole party is face down in the dirt.

Yay.

[GM]Dave>> What the hell is wrong with you?
[GM]Dave>> Why aren't you casting Silena?
Summoner>> I'm just supposed to heal.
[GM]Dave>> Do you have Silena?
Summoner>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> And don't you think using it might be...
[GM]Dave>> Oh, I don't know...
[GM]Dave>> HELPFUL?!
Summoner>> I'm not a White Mage.
Summoner>> I'm a Summoner.
[GM]Dave>> I don't care if you're a wood elf.
[GM]Dave>> If you have Silena, CAST SILENA!
Summoner>> This isn't my fault.
[GM]Dave>> How is this not your fault?
[GM]Dave>> Who's fault is it?
Summoner>> You should have picked up a White Mage.
Summoner>> I don't even like main healing.
[GM]Dave>> Then why did you agree to heal?
Summoner>> Well, I really wanted a party.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> This is what a tumor feels like.

After that, we sat down and had a long, serious discussion on the role of a Summoner as a main healer. We listened to each person's opinions and then came to a concensus and mutual resolution.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

As if I would do that!

Yeah, I just fed him to Jormy.

If you don't want to heal, then don't. That's cool.

But you can't agree to be main healer and then turn retarded.

That just doesn't work for me.

24 Comments:

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Before you even start, yes I realize I am completely evil.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger Naritori said...

That made me laugh in the inside
I would laugh outside but I'm sick at the momment keep up the good work.

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Louisa Gallie said...

You know, as much as it is your life and your right to quit whenever the hell you like, and though I'd be quite capable of surviving without this blog...I have to say I thanked God - um, you. You - out loud when I saw it was a joke. I've never found it unfunny, but even if you were having an off-day, it's also smart and interesting and those are rare qualities in a blog!

Besides, my brother's sense of humour has improved in leaps and bounds since I started making him read it. He's almost funny now.

Thanks for continuing, Your Evilness!

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger Cruven said...

lol. i choose to not really train my whitemage job because of the healing aspect. I know that healing is needed and all i just think id do a shitty job of it. And since i don't train Whitemage..my Blackmage seems stuck at level 13..and i think i could try to get Summoner upto level 10 at least. Hell Summoner was the reason i got FFXI..but im more addicted to Samurai and Dragoon.

Good job dave feedin him to jormy. I was in a party that had..a Summoner..a Black mage/whm..and a Rdm. The other two did more healing then the summoner did who was supposed to be main heal. Of course i was a Monk and somehow i ended up main tank. Im still tryin to work out how i managed it (i usually die as main tank)

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger Valle said...

Bwahahahahaha! Best post ever! Seriously!

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Kiwi said...

O_O .... that about sums it up... O_O.

well at least reading up to the /wave picture.

It would be a sad cold day if you quit writing this blog..

Keep up the evil work!

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

...dont scare me like that....

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Ark said...

'sif you would leave your loyal fansboys.

Ark

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger User Error said...

I almosted cried after the first bit.
oh well and thank you for yet another great story!

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Grenade71822 said...

I will go ahead and say it. You are a evil person. So what else is new. And since i dont play FFXI can you post a pic of jormy dealing 10,000+ damge to some poor little gilseller/retard.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Naritori said...

actually I wasn't fast I woke up then got on the computer then checked here and I got lucky.

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Slane said...

Ahahaha.

That was awesome.

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not funny! My heart broke thinking GM Dave would be no more. That's just mean. You're a bad bad man and I'm glad you're back.

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Seritle said...

Man, the only thing that keeps me staying with Final Fantasy XI is your blog, [GM]Dave. I mean seriously, I've been having some pretty harsh times not cancelling my account. I mean this was my first, and no one forgets their first. I'm hoping one day your blog pushes my drive into overdrive and that I start wanting to play again. In the meantime, I suppose SWG will have to be the one to pick up the pieces. *ouch*

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Esined said...

Well I ALWAYS knew I am the gullible type...

YOU have just confirmed it for me yet again. I cannot be in denial.

That being said when you duped me into thinking you where leaving, I had a sad, pathetic, ....retarted, look on my face (And I didnt even need a mirror to know this coz I felt how stupid I looked yea). I was thinking awww what would be words of farewell I could say to be worthy of THE [GM]Dave...

Then I saw below the pic...
...

AND YES!!! I actually Laughed at myself for being all of the above >.<

I however was retarded enuf to be duped by your BS, AT LEAST I am not the retard who says OMG first fucking post -.-t GAWD! STFU!

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger Kite said...

Healing can be either relaxing with a cure so now and then since the party goes so well, or a pain in the rear since everyone takes a shitload of damage and no-one is doing a skillchain making the battle last longer than it would WITH skillchains and Magic Bursts.

My WHM sub is good for another 10 BLM levels, so no need to level it for some time.

 
At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am actually quite curious, any chance you could sometimes write something about a good partying session? Like some sort of intermezzo on here, inbetween all the jormy-feedings? :) And I do get the feeling that Absolute Virtue is quite hungry too!

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Damn you got me!!!

BTW, your creative writing skills have always brought me a smile if not a guffaw per every posting.

Thanks for writing this.

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Ark said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Ark said...

*loads handgun*
































This is to shoot retards with. >:D

'sif I would ever kill myself over a mere blog, as funny as it can be. I'm not a fanboy like the rest of you.

Awwww you had a heart attack or got pretty scared shitless just reading above the pretty picture...

Now according to [GM]Dave's logic, and thus the logic you all go by, that would mean you are all pretty much guilty of retardation yourselves for being so emotionally attached to this blog. >:D

And then there's the guys who post the first comment with nothing but "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGFIRSTCOMMENTYAY!!!OMGOMGOMGOMFG!!!!!!!!I GOT FIRST COMMENT!!!!!"

Yeah.

Ark

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Meroduin said...

That was funny as hell, Dave.

Also, you seem to have some spammers on your blog. Might want to clean that out.

 
At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now you must feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes i do enjoy reading your blog very, and i mean *very* much. But after having read through all the comments to this post again it feels like you were secretly fishing for compliments ;) keep up the good work.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger dark_vyce said...

/me salutes

Your evilness is without equal. Teach me master!

As for the Summoner. What a moron, silena and other debuffs of that sort are considered part of 'healing' and therefore is part of the job the the main healer. If he didn't have the spell, that would a little more tolerable. Tolerable, but still stupid.

And... Did said party leader have any idea that the mobs had silence on them? I mean, do your damn research for crying out loud.

 
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