Thursday, October 05, 2006

If You Only Knew The Power...

As soon as I got home from work today, I knew something was wrong. Susan greeted me at the door, but the look on her face was not a happy one.

Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> We need to talk...

Immediately, my heart sank. There has never been a good conversation that started with the words "we need to talk".

You never "need" to talk about the good stuff.

It's never:

Person>> We need to talk...
Person>> You're getting a promotion.

Or:

Person>> We need to talk...
Person>> You just won a million dollars.

No, it's always:

Person>> We need to talk...
Person>> And by talk I mean I'm going to tear out your heart, show it to you, and then step on it.

Sigh.

Anyway, back to our story...

Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> We need to talk...
[GM]Dave>> Oh, crap.
Susan>> What?
Susan>> What's wrong?
[GM]Dave>> This is going to be bad.
Susan>> Why would you say that?
[GM]Dave>> Everytime you say that, something bad happens.
[GM]Dave>> It is the harbinger of my doom.
Susan>> That's not true.
[GM]Dave>> Well, is it good news?
Susan>> ...
Susan>> Not exactly...
[GM]Dave>> See? Told you.
[GM]Dave>> Harbinger, doom, me.
Susan>> It's just...
[GM]Dave>> What is it?
[GM]Dave>> It can't be that bad.

Silence.

[GM]Dave>> Or maybe it is.
[GM]Dave>> Crap.
Susan>> I don't know how to explain this.
Susan>> I did something terrible.

Good news: I'm not in trouble.

Bad news: When a woman admits to doing something terrible, it's very, very, very bad news.

[GM]Dave>> ... How terrible?

Silence.

[GM]Dave>> Crap.
Susan>> I didn't mean for this to...
Susan>> It just...
Susan>> It just happened.

Oh damn.

I knew what she was going to tell me. I could see it in her face, her eyes.

She had cheated on me.

I felt my heart lurch in my chest and wondered for a second if a man could die from a heart break.

There is no pain more agonizing, more terrible, more complete than knowing the person that you love has been with someone else. I cannot even begin to imagine anything as horrible as that.

She might as well have just reached in my chest and tore my heart out. It might have hurt less.

The fact that she could have cheated on me with another man was just... unimaginable. I don't think anything could have been worse than that.

But I had to hear it from her.

[GM]Dave>> What...
[GM]Dave>> What happened?
Susan>> I was out the other morning...
Susan>> You were at work...
Susan>> And...

She started to cry.

I wanted to.

[GM]Dave>> Go on.
[GM]Dave>> Tell me.
Susan>> I was shopping.
Susan>> Just picking up a few things and...
Susan>> I wasn't planning it, you know.
Susan>> I swear I wasn't planning for it to happen.
[GM]Dave>> What happened?
Susan>> I...
Susan>> I...
[GM]Dave>> Say it.

Here it was.

This was the moment when she would tear my heart out with just a few words.


Susan>> I tried Warcraft.

...

...

That's just freakin' wrong.

Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> Talk to me.
[GM]Dave>> How could you?
[GM]Dave>> HOW COULD YOU?!
Susan>> It just happened.
[GM]Dave>> NO IT DIDN'T!
[GM]Dave>> YOU WANTED IT TO HAPPEN!
Susan>> No, I didn't.
[GM]Dave>> YES, YOU DID!
[GM]Dave>> I...
[GM]Dave>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!
Susan>> Honey, calm down.
[GM]Dave>> DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!
Susan>> It didn't mean anything.
Susan>> It was just a free trial.
[GM]Dave>> Did you...
[GM]Dave>> Did you... go on a raid?
Susan>> ...
[GM]Dave>> OH GOD!!!
Susan>> Let me explain.
[GM]Dave>> I don't want to hear it.
[GM]Dave>> Just leave me alone.

I can't believe she could do something so terrible.

I mean couldn't she have just cheated on me or something?

Sleeping with another man would have been bad, but Warcraft?!

Now, that hurt.

65 Comments:

At 6:59 PM, Blogger Meshuggah said...

first post, epic win, etc.

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger redkinoko said...

1UP. Raid ROFLWOW

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

the trials are tempting. But everyone knows womenfolk lack the mental resolve to stay away from them.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger Almorille said...

I'm sorry Dave, I know you love her and she is carrying your child, but you have no choice in this matter.
Her FFXI character is dragon food.

LMAO

DJW

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Isaac1200 said...

O_O Was not expecting that. Sorry [GM]Dave...

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger Carrin said...

Wow, she just goes for the hurt doesn't she.

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

NUOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

MR. BEEINGTON!

Oh, what thats not right...

Let me try that again...

NUOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
SHE PLAYED WARCRAFT!

Wait a min. was it just Warcraft or WoW?

Warcraft is O.K. World or Warcraft... Bring out the torchs and pitchforks!

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger Kumaren said...

I lawled





Hey Dave, theres another GM like you!

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e391/Nazzul/img_0040.jpg

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Arkaine said...

WoW beats FFXI hands down, bizatches! >:D

I mean honestly, elves and orcs in FF is just so wrong. They fit Warcraft fine, but FF? Hell no.

Soz but that's just my own op.

At least she didn't cheat on you with another man. I think that's more important about what game she plays.

Ark

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Jollymike said...

Don't worry, she'll get bored of it once she finds out the game posses no actual challenge.

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Zlo said...

damnit I thought I was actually going to have to comfort dave,

Oh well it was sad but then I lol'd at it.

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

I love the turn of events.

*Chuckles* Warcraft. That's funny.

*Mumbles* Stupid first post, gotta have it people.

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger Exc said...

[GM]Dave>> Did you...
[GM]Dave>> Did you... go on a raid?
Susan>> ...
[GM]Dave>> OH GOD!!!

That was good^^ I saw the WoW thing comin, but still, another good post Dave.

lol! Kumaren, that's an awesome GM if that pic is real. I like that, "Poor baby. Thanks for your GM call."

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Turkeysurgeon said...

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!
PHUKING HALARIOUS!

 
At 11:42 PM, Blogger Music-chan said...

Bwa ha ha! Soon Warcraft will rule them ALL!

=p Whatever. They're all just MMOs. It's all good.

 
At 12:22 AM, Blogger Stocky said...

lolwow

 
At 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Warcraft ftw =)

Val.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Macros said...

Kumaren!? Daggerspine ftw!

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger Cyberdragon said...

"Sleeping with another man would have been bad, but Warcraft?!

Now, that hurt."

ROTFLMAO!

Poor Dave.
Hopefully it isn't a PK server (Sorry WOW fans but the pk servers are infamious for the mentality of several members)if so hopefully you can save her before the brain damage sets in.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger nano said...

OMG elves in FF! They should go back and change FF 1 to remove elfland so the WoW morons can feel better about their shitty game! Get rid of the goblins and dwarves in that too, what are they doing in a fantasy rpg setting anyway?

 
At 4:55 AM, Blogger Vaare Valentino said...

I laughed out loud at this. Then I remembered my own woman is sleeping with another man... then I started to cry.... but yeah, WoW, what a traitor.

 
At 6:56 AM, Blogger Iboughtafish said...

Lol, man. lol

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger VinnieThe(retired)Foot said...

Welcome to the Darkside.............

lol

I could just see Dave in a blue WoW GM robe.

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too funny!!!

You gotta feed her to Jormy!!!!

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger Absolutedoll said...

World of Warcraft isn't that bad! They even did a South Park episode on it the other night!!

 
At 8:03 AM, Blogger Cruven said...

Ugh...WoW is just Easy Prey compared to FFXI. Ive played it and for me it was more World of lagcraft then anything else. I have yet to figure out why i even bought it.

Dave you know what to do ;)

 
At 8:12 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

rofl..that's funny..i tried warcraft

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

[GM]Dave..it's the hormones.... they make us womanfolk do stupid things..like make our men watch HGTV or Oprah instead of playing FFXI. Just think of the freaky things she will do to beg your fogiveness.

[GM]Dave this is a good thing.....you now own her soul!! On those very rare occasion where she may disagree with you..bring this up!! GAME OVER...you win!!

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger schagg said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger schagg said...

oh no...she played another game. Big deal. grow the #!@$! up. FFXI isn't better than WoW, and WoW isn't better than FFXI.

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger Seranos said...

Well... I wish I could say I know what you're going through... but I can't. I'm sorry... very very sorry.

Hey it could be worse... she could have been playing Hello Kitty Roller Rescue...

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Shinkada said...

To the clown who stuck up for WoW, I have one thing to say to you:

Muscly. Elves.

Game, set, match.

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger luther349 said...

hahaha. but who chares what game she plays if she likes it then play it relly grow up on dissing wow. if she likes wow play wow if she likes ff11 then play ff11. i found ff11 to get old far quicker then wow but that just me.

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Scully said...

Welcome Susan... If you'd join the Thunderhorn server on the Alliance side and look up Deloessian in game, I'd be happy to give you a starter pack to get you rolling... =) Of course you'd need to get the full account for that.

Bwahahaha...

Don't get me wrong... Love ya [GM]Dave, but of course I'd like to welcome new players who aren't idiots... And from how you've described her, she's not an idiot. =)

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Kittos said...

Susan>> It just happened.
[GM]Dave>> NO IT DIDN'T!
[GM]Dave>> YOU WANTED IT TO HAPPEN!
Susan>> No, I didn't.
[GM]Dave>> YES, YOU DID!

POPOPO`!!!

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger RDMFire said...

Hahaha, that got my funny bone perfectly.

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger paduse said...

I agree with almorille. My advice: Feed the bitch to Jormy! Then climb into a bottle, Loop Cake's remix of "I will survive" over and over and over, and then take two asprin... to the temple... with a desert eagle 50 cal.

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Eirwen said...

So they did a South Park ep on WoW... big deal. It just shows how that game is of an other level. Sure, FFXI and WoW are both MMORPG's, but they both attract different kind of players.

I got friends who play WoW and friends who play FFXI (including me). I have seen what both games can do to people.

Like Susan, even I considered playing WoW last year, but eventually I gave up on it. The graphics, the races, the colors, they just weren't my kind of thing. Instead I went for the semi-realistic FFXI (my girlfriend who played it had nothing to do with it).

Every big Final Fatasy fan should at least try FFXI once. You can alway put on the [GM]Dave sign and wait to be fed to a dragon if you want to quit.

Good post Dave, didn't see that one coming~!

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger RDMFire said...

BTW. I wonder how many of you people knocking WoW have actually PLAYED WoW.

Each game has it's Pros and Cons.

FFXI = Great for person who has a lot of time and loves the system it uses and likes a slower style.

WoW = Great for the not so serious gamer, and for some serious gamers. Has a faster paced style and higher flow of movement.
Great for people who use LSD as well for it has a large array of color.

It really is all about preference. Shouldn't be something to fight and bitch about, saying what is better than what. Did YOU make the game? No? Then why the hell are you arguing?

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Para said...

You guys know that if Susan DOES play World of Warcraft, Dave will hold little power over her, right? :o

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger Arkaine said...

To the clown named Shinkada, I have one thing to say to you:

That was two words. :P

And both games are different, so how about you people who hate WoW so much but haven't even tried it stop dissing the game and focus on playing FFXI. I'm perfectly capable of seeing that any game can have fans, and FFXI is obviously no exception.

And if you have played WoW but still hate it, then yeah read what I said above. Not every player of a game is going to like it.

Ark

 
At 11:17 PM, Blogger Zarquon said...

I've tried both games, and I settled on FFXI. WoW is definitely for the more casual gamer. FFXI is for the person who likes to put a lot of work (ok, a TON of work) into their game.

And lest I forget (or get sidetracked) hilarious post, Dave. Didn't see the WoWBomb coming, thats for sure. I was expecting a shattered PC, not something as devastating as playing WoW :D

 
At 11:47 PM, Blogger luna_panshiel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:58 PM, Blogger luther349 said...

yea its 2 diffrent game in style of play not playing wow everyday doesent effect your gameplay as mutch as ff11. wow was made for pretty mutch any type of gamer people who prefer solo play is fine in that game but you can play partyed as well. it also has more features in the pvp area like a ctf and battlefield type of pvp match i havent played the 3rd type yet. not to metion thats cross server so finding a arena match takes seconds.

ff11 is a party type game and more socal then wow couse in wow you never need to speak to anyone witch would never work in ff11. but in the end its all prefrence of the gamer. ff11 is great for those who love partys and dealing with people from all over the world and the slower paced style of play.

wow is more talerd to the solo gamer who doesent whant to deal with the constent need of a party or dealing with people not to say its not in the game but its more a option then a need. and by the sheer number of people playing wow i would say the solo types outnumber the party lovers. what is it at right now 7 mil.

 
At 1:22 AM, Blogger E. Swartz said...

To the clown named Arkaine:

He said "things," not "words."

Not that I agree with him on muscly elves or anything.

 
At 4:34 AM, Blogger Morzrath said...

Brilliant blog entry. Hilarious!

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Lazarious said...

Tell her to come by Bloodhoof. I'll show her a good time.

P.S. I gave up on killing seafood a long time ago. Have fun in FFXI

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Idalia said...

i converted from ffxi to wow.

sucks to be me.

but i'm not wasting time lfp anymore.

i've got shit to do in real life. my patience ended a long time ago with ffxi =/

sorry, so disappointing.

feel free to bash my head in, all you religious ffxi players.

keep writing dave, still love the blog, even though i don't play anymore.

 
At 3:13 PM, Blogger Count D said...

Kumaren said...

I lawled





Hey Dave, theres another GM like you!

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e391/Nazzul/img_0040.jpg

Hahaha XD That's from my server! XD

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Darwin's Little Helper said...

I still play both FFXI and WoW

When I have a whole night to myself and a fair amount of vodka:

LFP for a few hours and exp a bit on FFXI.

If I have an hour or two to play:
WoW it is.

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Eirwen said...

The way Zarquon and luther349 put it, makes me see it in a new perspective and I totally agree with their opinions.

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger luther349 said...

yea people who bas wow or people who bash ff11 probly havent played eyther. or played 1 and not the other. i played almost every mmo there is pay and free types. i played ff1 for some time but evently i got cought with the masses in wow at the moment. not to say i whont ever come back to ff11 its a good game as well and sence once a year they do the return event where they undelete your char its defently a option but to be honest deleting them in the first place is kinda dumb wow never does that unless you delete it yourself.

its all prefrence and i am a solo type of player so wow was a beter option. to be honest i didnt like the fact ff11 didnt havea real ff battle system so it was a turn off for me from day one being a hardcore ff fan and seeing that kinda made me sick but they did it to 12 as well and well 12 sucks.

they need to go back to basics with 13 stop trying to make it hack and slash and back to turn based. and with sony riding the death wagen with there overpriced bluecrap ps3 and yes games have aruldy been cancled for it smackdon vs raw 2007 got cancled for the ps3 it will be a xbox title thats defently a first. screwing up there best serise of games as well is only just making the hole deeper. rats knoe when to jump ship you knoe.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Risky Safety said...

WoW > FFXI. And no, FFXI isn't harder than WoW, it's jsut more busy work to drag the bastard out.

 
At 5:33 AM, Blogger Taomage said...

For one, this is an FFXI-themed blog.

Comming on here and defending WoW is just going to get you flamed.


For two, the mentallity I've seen from WoW players is easily compared to that of a ten year old. Where most of the FFXI addicts are atleast mediocre with grammar or spelling, the WoW counterparts just butcher the language in some vain attempt to "be cool".


Yes, FFXI is a thousand times more challenging. You can solo a character to max level in WoW in about what, a month? Try soloing BST or SMN to 75 in a month.

Maybe some people don't WANT a challenge. Maybe some people WANT a game that looks like it was designed by RetardedInc. And that's fine.


But don't come on to an FFXI-themed blog, and defend something that shouts its retardation through its title alone.

Wow, WoW makes me sick to my stomache.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger Mrpringle said...

WoW in all honesty, despite it's lack of regular updates and expansions, is actually better that FFXI. And yes, i play both...

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger Erik said...

Huzzah! Hey susan, come to dragonblight server, make a horde toon, then talk to anybody you see in the guild Maelstrom, I can hook ya up!

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger Erik said...

By the way Taomage, please don't paint us all with the same brush. It's just the alliance that has the ten year olds. I haven't played FFXI, just for the record, so no bashing from me. WoW also is not for only "casual/solo" players. You can get in guilds which do 40-man raids nightly. Thats right, nightly. For 5+ hours per night in some cases, we have no lives, it's true. Thats 39 other people to deal with, all the time, takes a lot of persistance to learn bosses etc. My 2 cents.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger Taomage said...

Sorry to generalize. Its just I've yet to meet a well articulated WoW player, so I do stand corrected.

I will also admit that Raids do seem to be impressive.

I only have three answers for these raids.

Kirin, Absolute Virtue, and Besieged.

Let's break them down.

Kirin: A huge manticore, that summons GODS as pets. It easily takes 36+ people for this ONE MONSTER. A single monster.


Absolute Virtue: No one has been able to beat this monster without "getting it stuck on the wall of Justice" or whatever its called. Has it been beaten? Yes. I think three times in the history of its existance. I could be wrong. It could be less.


Besieged: HUNDREDS of FFXI endgame players fight a massive amount of extremely hard enemies in an attempt to keep the "Astral Candesence" from their capture. Almost impossible, if it weren't for the sheer number of poeple we lob at this invading HORDE.

So I don't doubt that Wow can be challenging, and again I apologize for generalizing. But I've seen WoW, I've sat and watched a friend play it for hours, and I wasn't impressed. I don't think it can ever be as challenging as FFXI.

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger Idalia said...

taomage said...

"For two, the mentallity I've seen from WoW players is easily compared to that of a ten year old. Where most of the FFXI addicts are atleast mediocre with grammar or spelling, the WoW counterparts just butcher the language in some vain attempt to "be cool"."

Actually, I, as a long time player of FFXI, and being a new player to WoW, I have noticed that players of both games have the maturity and grammar of a 10 year old.

Just because you choose to play a game over another doesn't make you a better person.

People are retarded to bitch about another choice, especially in an MMORPG.

Woopiedoo, you play a game. Wow, you spend endless hours farming/partying/missions. People in the real world don't care. And it won't exactly look good on a resume.

"Employment history: NIN BLM SAM BRD 75 FTW!!!!"

You're gaurenteed as a Walmart door greeter at most.

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Idalia said...

Sorry, I meant they both have an equal share of players with that mentality.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger catwho said...

The big differential between the two that I noticed in my experiments with WoW is that FFXI has backbone stories and WoW doesn't. That makes a huge difference because there is another standard of measurement for your character other than level. I've actually "completed" two of FFXI's expansion backs and I'm roughly halfway through the base game's three storylines. WoW gave me a racial backstory and expected me to figure out the rest of the story from quests and other WoW games. I *like* the fact that 50+ hours of content in each expansion includes lots of movies and challenging boss fights. WoW had a nice opening movie, and that was it.

 
At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Susan needs to play EVE. Once she gets out in 0.4 and below space, and gets her first podkill (or ransom), she'll be hooked.

Nothing quite like blowing up someone's multi-million ISK investment and then ransoming their escape pod.

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger DP-snapple said...

... I'm sorry. I know how it is to have someone you thought so highly of destroy all respect you have for them. My condolences.

 
At 3:25 PM, Blogger Psx said...

(revisited) i think you know the outcome of this post, oh boy...

 

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