Bannable Offenses

We'll Look Into The Matter...

We get a lot flack for the way we handle GM reports.

No, not just the reports where people get fed to a dragon. Normal reports.

Well... For me, someone getting fed to a dragon is a normal report, but you know what I'm getting at.

See, we're kind of bound by certain rules that determine how we have to react to any given situation.

Well... Most GMs are bound by those rules. I'm not a rule kind of guy.

Let's just say that all of the above rules apply to every GM except me.

These rules, however, create a bit of friction between the GM staff and the player base.

Players always expect us to just jump up and go ban whoever in the hell is annoying them. They can't be bothered to wait for such trivial things as investigations.

Or evidence.

I'm here today to convey a message from the GM staff to you.

Stop whining, you impatient bitches!

I'm paraphrasing.

If you made a call to the police over every little thing, do you think they'd show up right away with their sirens blaring?

Hell, no.

They'd tell you they'll look into it and maybe, just maybe, investigate it if they have the time.

When we tell you "we'll look into the matter," that means exactly that. We'll look into it.

It doesn't mean screw you.

It doesn't mean we don't care.

We don't care, but that's not why we say that.

We say that because IT'S OUR FREAKIN' JOB!!!

We tell you we're going to investigate the matter further and then we go and investigate the matter further.

These investigations may not lead to a suspension or a banning for several reasons:

a) insufficient evidence keeps us from making a definite judgement in a complex case

b) many transgressions warrant a warning, not an all out ban

c) we're too freakin' busy investigating reports written by every moron who is too stupid to know how the game works.

Yeah, sure. You're positive that guy over there is a gil seller.

He has bad gear.

He's higher in level than you.

He doesn't speak english.

Hell, let's just skip the investigation and shoot the guy in the middle of the street.

But you know what? We kind of have to have proof of that shit before we send our special forces team to his house to whack the guy.

I know it gets frustrating to make a GM call in a fit of rage only to hear "we'll look into the matter." Unfortunately, we do occasionally like to look through the logs to see just which one of you is actually retarded.

It's kind of like flipping a coin. One of you is bound to be retarded. We just like to figure out which one first.

Let's look at a situation, shall we?

GM Call Description: Cheated by a casino.

Now, this kind of thing happens all the time. There's an old saying: "A fool and his money are soon parted."

And damn if there aren't a few fools born every day in Vana'diel.

But which one is the idiot here?

Did the casino actually rip the guy off when he won?

Or is a sore loser accusing a casino of cheating just because he lost?

These are the kind of things a GM has to grapple with in order to make those hard decisions.

Most GMs work really hard to make the right decision in these kinds of situations.

Honestly, it's not a hard decision for me.

I just ban everybody and let WoW sort them out.

Ban the casino, ban the player, and then ban everyone in a six foot radius just to be safe.

Seriously, guys. GMs are working their hardest to make the game better for everyone. These guys work day and night to make Vana'diel a better place.

Well... most of the GMs.

I might help you if I'm not too busy drinking.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 12:52 PM