Mama Said Knock You OutMany of you have e-mailed me asking how my mother is doing. I'm pleased to report she is doing just fine and is back in the game.
What? How did she return you may ask?
Well... I unbanned her.
Now, before you start to think that I did it because she's my mom, you are very, very wrong.
I banned her in the first place because she was my mom.
No, I reinstated her account for two very good reasons:
1) It was her birthday and I had to choose between unbanning her or actually having to go to the mall and interact with people.
As much as my mom pisses me off, that is so not worth having to talk to the unwashed masses that infest our shopping establishments.
2) My father was going crazy.
Mom was hard enough to live with when she was playing FFXI. Now, she's very angry and has a hell of a lot of time on her hands.
Not a good combination.
So, given these mitigating factors, I decided to give her another chance.
[GM]Dave>> Hey, mom.
Mom>> Mom? Who's that?
Mom>> You can't mean me. I have no children.
[GM]Dave>> Knock it off, Mom.
Mom>> I can't be your mother.
Mom>> No one would ban their own mother.
Mom>> Therefore, you cannot possibly be my son.
[GM]Dave>> Are you going to keep going with this?
[GM]Dave>> It's getting really old.
Mom>> Oh, I'm sorry.
Mom>> I did not mean to bother you. Please forgive me...
Mom>> You soulless monster.
[GM]Dave>> Mom, it's good news.
[GM]Dave>> I'm unbanning you.
Mom>> Well, goody goody gumdrops.
Mom>> That totally makes up for the first two times you banned me.
[GM]Dave>> Oh, stop it.
[GM]Dave>> I had to ban you those times.
[GM]Dave>> You are pure evil.
Mom>> You didn't have to ban me.
Mom>> You wanted to.
Mom>> You enjoyed it.
[GM]Dave>> That's completely unt...
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, I did like it a bit.
Mom>> I knew it.
[GM]Dave>> But I'm here to unban you.
[GM]Dave>> For your birthday.
Mom>> You're really going to do it?
[GM]Dave>> Yes, mom.
Mom>> That's great.
Mom>> This is like the best present ever.
[GM]Dave>> That makes me very sad.
Mom>> You know what I mean.
[GM]Dave>> Listen... Do you want to come back or not?
Mom>> Of course I do.
Mom>> I can't wait.
[GM]Dave>> Let me just clear your account...
[GM]Dave>> And... done.
[GM]Dave>> You're a free woman.
Mom>> This is amazing.
I have to admit, this actually made me smile a bit. She was so happy.
Unfortunately, that's when she got loud.
Mom>> I'M FREE!!!!
Mom>> ABOUT F$&ING TIME
[GM]Dave>> Oh, damn.
[GM Dave>> Mom...
Mom>> What'd I do that time?
[GM]Dave>> We have very strict rules about swearing.
Mom>> Oh Christ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid we have to ban you again.
Mom>> But I just got back!
Mom>> This is bullshit!
Mom>> I'M YOUR MOTHER!
[GM]Dave>> Justice has no mommy.
I felt a little bad at having to ban her again. And, if I had to guess, I'm pretty sure she wasn't too happy about it either.
Actually, I know she wasn't very happy about it.
About a half hour later, I got a call from my Dad. He didn't say anything.
He just cried into the phone.
Yeah, she's mad.