Qufim: Valkurm The Sequel
I manage somehow to survive the rampant stupidity of Valkurm Dunes and finally reach level 20.There was much rejoicing.
But then it was time for that first, long voyage to Jeuno.
When I finally got their, I felt so good. It was like I had made it through a terrible, terrible trial and had made it to safety.
Oh, how little I knew.
Just having hit 20, I quickly hit the Auction House and completely updated my gear and made sure I had all the spells I would require for the next few levels.
Feeling adequately prepared, I stepped into Qufim.
What's the first thing I see upon stepping into Qufim?
Was it a band of adventurers setting out on a quest?
Was it a ferocious monster waiting to take me out?
No.
It was a level 18 Thief.
With a level 7 subjob.
In a level 20 area.
Wearing level 10 scale mail armor.
It was right then that my head started to hurt.
Still, being the nice guy that I was, I thought I'd offer some constructive criticism.
Dave>> Hi there.
Thief>> Yeah.
Thief>> Hi.
Dave>> If you don't mind me saying...
Dave>> Your gear is a little out of date.
Thief>> STFU
Dave>> Wow.
Dave>> Great gear AND an amazing vocabulary.
Dave>> You must be a big hit with the ladies.
Note to self: Don't help people.
I just start pondering what level of head trauma would lead someone to being so stupid, when I get a party invite.
I start heading for our group's camp when I notice we only have five members.
Dave>> Do we have a sixth member?
Leader>> I think so.
Leader>> Just invited someone.
Dave>> Oh. Cool.
Dave>> What job are they?
Leader>> Thief.
...
There's no way I'm that unlucky.
Thief>> Hey, everybody.
Thief>> Where's camp?
Dave>> Oh good Christ.
Dave>> You invited the gimped wonder.
Thief>> STFU, n00b.
Dave>> Good comback there, genius.
Dave>> Ouch.
Dave>> That one really hurt.
Thief>> Why'd you invite this guy?
Dave>> Well... I'm a Red Mage with up to date gear and spells.
Dave>> You're a Thief wearing tinfoil and with a mental disability.
Leader>> Okay, knock it off.
Leader>> No one else is looking for a party right now.
Leader>> Deal with it.
We make our way carefully to camp and start exping. Right away, it's obvious that this guy is holding us back.
He's doing crap damage and just randomly fires off weaponskills whenever he wants.
Someone suggested a skillchain and he said "What the hell is that?"
Yeah.
We're starting to get the swing of things, though, and the exp starts rolling in despite him.
Things are just starting to get fun when...
Thief>> Okay, we need to ditch the Red Mage guy.
Dave>> Are you kidding?
Dave>> You must be kidding.
Thief>> He's not even meleeing.
Dave>> Of course not.
Dave>> I'm spending all of my time trying to keep you alive.
Dave>> Why I'm not sure.
Thief>> He's a n00b.
Thief>> Drop him.
Dave>> I think you actually discovered a new level of stupidity.
Leader>> Both of you just shut up.
Leader>> Nobody's getting booted.
So, we go back to fighting worms and I continue to keep the Thief alive.
To this day, I still don't know why.
Then, in the middle of the battle, I get aggroed from behind by another worm.
This is bad. The rest of our party is in the middle of a battle with their own worm and I'm getting my ass kicked.
Dave>> Thief, get over here and help.
Thief>> No, thanks.
Thief>> I'd rather not.
Dave>> Jesus, man.
Dave>> Get over here!
Thief>> I'd really prefer to just watch you die.
Thief>> Maybe that'll teach you something.
Dave>> You mean like the fact that you're a dick?
Dave>> I already knew that.
Thief>> Good luck with that worm.
I start throwing cures at myself, but it was looking bad. My HP was getting really low and I was starting to run out of mana.
Then fate smiled on me. The rest of the party finished up their fight and ran over to rescue me.
I survived with only a few HP left, but I survived.
Thief>> You deserved that.
Thief>> Maybe next time, you'll watch your back, n00b.
Seems the moron was so busy taunting me, he failed to notice the time.
Or the Wight walking up behind him.
I'm pretty sure he noticed when it decided to kick his ass.
I actually had to take a break for a minute I was laughing so hard.
You know... maybe Qufim wasn't all bad.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:41 PM
9 Comments:
I love it when all you have to do is sit back and relax, whilst someone else deals well deserved justice (or fucking up some impotent cocksucker, your choice of words).
Dimitry,
The first thing worms do usually is cast Bind on you so you can't run.
I assume you must not play FFXI.
Or, at least, not well.
[GM]Dave
What do you people want from me?
It was a long time ago and I'm fairly drunk right now.
He was wearing something and it was ugly. And the wrong level.
I can sympathize with you there Game Master Dave.
I often look back on games thinking about how much I wanted to use the biggest mallet I could find on their face and can't quite remember all the details.
Details don't usually matter though when you find a way to kick their ass.
I'm curious if you had a friendly chat with him after becoming a Game Master though.
By friendly I mean did you show him your pet dragon?
I've never played FFXI but if I ever get it I'll be sure to do my research before pissing people off.
i did see a DRG/WHM - 22 DRG 6 WHM - in full solid mail there once.
you'd think someone who'd been through Quifim at least once, and then had the patience to trudge through the DRG flag quest - would know that in party situations you owe it to your PT members to be the best you can.
i *like* qufim. i like being chased by undead on the way in and out, i like fighting worms and clippers, i even like parties on the stairs in Delkfutts.
i was still sure as shit glad when i hit 25 and could head back to the Jungles though...
Yeah, this was a good story, brought back memories of my own, red mage was actually my first job as well. I've seen people still wearing the lvl 7 leather armor series, i remember in jungles when i saw a lvl 28 blm..thats it..a lvl 28 blm, with no sub -.-
Then there is the one 26/7 whm/thf i saw once in kazham.
Seriously folks, quit nit picking over the story, we're talking about Valkurm and Quifim.. those places cause mental trauma that make you forget many things.. so what if he forgot the specific armor, i'd love to forget that the dooms existed, unfortunatly that will never happen.
Wait....you eman to say after i escape the rampant stupidity of Valk i have to walk straight into ANOTHER pit of pure idiocy?
SHOOT ME NOW!
sorry...ive been caught up in the game.
Im at Valkrum myself (never had a job higher then 15) and all i can say is when theres someone you don't like all praise goto low mana. and an agrroing mod always helps too
When I finally got their, I felt so good. It was like I had made it through a terrible, terrible trial and had made it to safety.
Har har har!
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