Thursday, June 01, 2006

And One For My Homies

Today's update is dedicated to one of my fellow GMs.

He was another fighter in our ongoing battle with stupidity and made great strides in ridding Vana'diel of oh so many retards.

Unfortunately, he never quite grasped the concept of collateral damage and took down a few innocents with the rest of the hapless, brainless idiots.

I don't blame him, though.

Not everyone can be as people friendly as I am.

Sadly, this GM has moved on to new, better things.

Like unemployment.

So, with a heavy heart, we bid farewell to another GM who tried to make a difference.

We salute you.


Note: I was going to pour a forty on the curb in your memory, but that would be a waste of good whisky on the memory of someone too stupid to not get caught.



At 4:31 PM, Blogger AzzA said...

Im kinda surprised that you get away with it dave. Dont your superiors ever go online or get linked this blog has some kinda incriminating evidence.

But i wish you well in keeping it up, however harsh some of your penalties may be.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger High Hopes said...

Goodbye, Jcblue. It's about time.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Moggy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:38 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...


Some of us are smart enough to clean up after ourselves.

If you leave witnesses, you leave loose ends.

At 4:43 PM, Blogger High Hopes said...

Note to Self: Stop Reading Blog. You're becoming a witness...

At 4:56 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Note to self: kill High Hopes.

At 5:03 PM, Blogger Lankist said...

"Note to self: kill High Hopes."

Ha ha ha!

Wait...Oh damn.

At 5:40 PM, Blogger Mike said...

oh teh noes :O

I don't think there will ever be a crusade large enough to stop the wave of stupidity.


And crap, we are all witnesses, /flee.

crap i'm on my DRK!


At 7:15 PM, Blogger Corby said...

Nice, you should put more screenshots of your awesomeness. >.>

At 7:22 PM, Blogger dickkead said...

I'd like to know what kind of whiskey comes in a 40oz bottle?

All I know of is beer and malt liquor, bitch. Isn't most whiskey measured in ML?

I'd think you to know this, being a fan of the Old #7...

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

The stupidity took a victim? Today is a dark day ;_;

At 8:19 PM, Blogger MelkorTheStrong said...

I don't know how I stumbled upon this blog, as I do not play FFXI. This page is good for laughs though. [GM]Dave, rock on.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger lithpiperpilot said...


Great work, keep it up, but us witness es should lay low and pledge our alliegence to [GM]DAVE by giving him money ;) (wink wink)
Just helping you out there!


At 9:03 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

The crusade to stop stupidity is large enough, we just lack the massive # of incendiary devices we need to proceed full-scale.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger High Hopes said...

I just escaped from [GM]Dave's basement! It smells of whiskey and charred human flesh! Oh, the humanity!

At 9:18 PM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

He's the cocksucker that banned me.

Good riddance to JcBlue. He's responsible for a lot of questionable bannings, many of dedicated, good players.

At 9:20 PM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

@ Dickkead:

[GM]Dave is so hardcore that he empties the malt liquor out and fills his own bottles with whiskey.


At 10:10 PM, Blogger HTL2001 said...

One thing [GM]Dave has going is that no one knows his real name.

And a witness to a deserved banning (even if you did it... unusually) won't do anything, especially if the logs get cleared :)

At 10:13 PM, Blogger Jdrill1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:20 PM, Blogger Jsleigh1 said...

So [GM]Dave, what aspects of FFXI do you like? Not as a power-hungry/corrupt GM but as a player? What makes it fun? I play WoW and I really want to switch. So persuade me and tell me about FFXI. Now. Or I'll feed you to the Pickly, he's my carniverous pet kitty.

At 2:41 AM, Blogger Bastionus said...

come come now.. what did Dave say about fanboyism... take the pet kitty and shoot it in the head.. then come out of mommie's basement. fresh air take a nice gulp of it.. feels good dont it.. now go play in the street

At 3:32 AM, Blogger Feba said...

windexhamster: Try calling POL. If your banning really was unjust, they may reverse it (they are aware of Jcblue's abuse of power).

Jcblue had banned someone for something they hadn't been doing, they called POL, told them they were aware of the issue, and got their stuff back.

At 4:03 AM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

I was nailed using the Azaril Windower.

How, I don't know. Either way, JcBlue told me I was using a "tick cheat" (I have no clue what the fuck that even is, I'd never once heard of it before then) on top of it, and banned me.

It was pretty gay. I sure as hell wasn't hacking, but I admit I was windowing.

I remain a strong advocate for the use of windowers, and I do not believe I was wrong in doing so, even if it did violate TOS, but that doesn't mean I didn't break the rules by having it.

Thus, the ban would probably stick. Besides, I don't want to come back now anyway. I spent far, far too much time and effort becoming elite to lose it all like that.

I'm enjoying real life now.

At 5:21 AM, Blogger Inia said...

I do not believe I was wrong in doing so, even if it did violate TOS, but that doesn't mean I didn't break the rules by having it.

Did Goblin Smithy just stab you in the head? "It did violate the TOS" means you did break the rules by having it.

Jcblue may have been stupid enough to get caught, but at least he got your idiotic ass out of the game before he left.

At 6:33 AM, Blogger StealthBomber said...

Dude ur a loser. GM dave eats punks like u for breastfast. As hes said before. You knew it was cheating the whole time, you downloaded it, you got busted, u do the time. If u download anything that would effect game mechanics (even windower) u broke the ToS and should await a swat team to break in and remind u of the ToS.

With bullets to the head and torso.

Dave, maybe u should let Jormy eat some windowers in ur next installment :D.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger StealthBomber said...

Maybe he did wrongfully accuse u, but u still deserved it.

At 6:44 AM, Blogger Uppercut said...

DEAR [GM]Dave,

It's funny you speak of not leaving witnesses, every person you BAN is a witness of your identity as a [GM]. I know a few things about the GM system, and ONE is that SE did not give you as much power as you claim, and two, that many people who you have banned (including me), know your true identity. At this point in time I have gathered over twelve people who know your identity as a [GM] and are planning to expose you. To the non beleivers; "GM" dave is real, so you were wrong. He is also more cruel than he even lets you know in his blog, banning innocent people frequently. He HAS been warned before and is hanging on a thin thread at SE, that is just waiting to break.

Dave, this time your going down, everyone has caught onto your sloppy antics, and your leaving more than a trail of breadcrumbs behind. I hope you have a backup job in mind...

We'll expose you when the time is right, and it may be sooner than you think. We may even have some allies in higher places than you....

Now it's your turn to get what you deserve, your actions will have reprocussions.

At 6:47 AM, Blogger Rathanel said...

Windower doesn't effect the game mechanics in and of itself. Other addons that are offered with it do change what information is available to you inside the game, and thus do.

I use Windower myself (but not any of the other addons, such as the TP tracking addon), and I do so knowing it violates the ToS. If I get banned for adding functionality that should have been built into the damn game in the first place, so be it.

Having played WoW, which allows players to freely change or add interfaces or information tracking addons, I can say the capability to do so adds a lot to the game. It's a shame FFXI doesn't (and will probably never) allow such things to happen.

At 6:48 AM, Blogger Lankist said...

Windex, did your mother drop you when you were young?

Did you even READ the TOS? That's THEIR rules, you abide by them, or you get banned. I don't give a damn how harmless you think it is. I could say yelling at a 3 year old, calling his mother a 'ho', is harmless, because he won't remember it in 5 years. Does that make it right?

By God, you whiney people need to get a grip.

At 6:51 AM, Blogger Feba said...

Did Goblin Smithy just stab you in the head? "It did violate the TOS" means you did break the rules by having it.

He says "Doesn't mean I didn't". That's a double negative. It means he did. Read some.

And uppercut, you're an idiot, SoE handles GMs, not SE.

At 7:56 AM, Blogger Lankist said...

And Uppercut, did you not look at the picture posted. If I'm not mistaken, that was a [GM] answering a ticket. Now, how many GMs are in this blog, hmm?

And "when the time is right"?

HA! More like "I'm lying about this 'evidence', and I feel like making myself look like a dumbass"

At 8:03 AM, Blogger Dramanue of Fenrir said...

Anyone else notice that the numbers in the HP/MP and Send/Receive fields look different than normal? I'm not sure, it just looks... well, shopped. :P
The pixels.
And having seen many shops in my day.

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Tigerlily said...

Ah...that explains why the Call GM feature had been down for a few days...w

At 8:19 AM, Blogger Daniel of Remora said...

I'd be inclined to agree. However, I'm not used to seeing the game in this low resolution.

The screenshot isn't from the GM's perspective, it's from the player who made the GM call.

And this particular player is using Windower or Fraps (or another application) to take the screen shot of the chat log. He also thinks he's Japanese (or maybe he is?).

Anyway, once again another fine update from [GM]Dave. The retards deserve it.

At 8:39 AM, Blogger Feba said...

Anyone else notice that the numbers in the HP/MP and Send/Receive fields look different than normal? I'm not sure, it just looks... well, shopped. :P
This is actually the "Classic GUI" Mod, it makes names/menus look like they would in, say, FFVII.

I saw it elsewhere without the names covered, i'm sure it's true. Dave just had the decency to censor it, or he came across it censored.

Wait, Dave has a sense of decency?

At 8:45 AM, Blogger Chronofantasy said...

Yeah, he had to censor the name so people wouldn't know his real GM name :P

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Uppercut said...

Umm this is supposed to be from dave's non GM character, talking to a different GM...he cencored the names to protect his real character's name, and whoever the GM hes talking to's name...

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Lankist said...

Or maybe he censored them so morons like you, Uppercut, wouldn't bother them.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Feba said...

Do you honestly think [GM]Dave would make a fake GM call? Oh, the hypocrasy that would be.

The original image can be found here.

I assure you, that isn't Dave's character. He wouldn't be dumb enough to take a screenshot, and let some silly forum user post it.

At 11:12 AM, Blogger Aretha said...

yeaaaah, [gm]dave is big and stwong and he'll beat chu daddies to death!! >o<
... XD
couldnt help it <3 fanboys act like dave's their father.. XD

At 11:45 AM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

Why doesnt dave post of pic of him answering a gm call, then I'll believe he is real. He could filter his name so it just says [GM]Filtered. He is fake, but he is indeed very funny.

At 1:06 PM, Blogger Sujaru said...

sorry bout your friend dude thats pretty shitty... but i wish all [G.M.]'s were cool like that... i got a warning from one because this moron was following me while i was fighting a hellmine in Garliage Shitadel and he got blown up.... well no shit dude.. bombs do that... but this kid followed me... hopefully youll get rid of these retards before i get banned -.-

At 3:04 PM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

Inia and Lankist and all the people like you are idiots.

Just because something violates a rule in a system doesn't mean it's wrong. It means that according to the views of the powers that be, it's wrong.

There are things in various countries around the world that are LEGAL, but unquestionably wrong or immoral. Laws don't dictate "right" or "wrong," only punishable and unpunishable.

Likewise, Windower being against the TOS is "illegal," but not necessarily "wrong." You can argue this all you want, it won't make you right.

The vast (read: vast) majority of high level players in FFXI that are on PCs use windowers along w/ PartyTP plugins, that's just the way it is.

If everyone using a windower were banned overnight, you'd find it interesting trying to build parties with half a linkshell to work with.

Keep your inane comments to yourselves. You don't know shit.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Ristle said...

WindexHamster said...

Likewise, Windower being against the TOS is "illegal," but not necessarily "wrong." You can argue this all you want, it won't make you right.

You fail at life. Stop arguing a lost cause. You got banned. Live with it. You break a rule, its wrong. The Rules are there for a reason. Stop posting on a blog where the author is the least likely person in the world to actaully give a shit.

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Lankist said...

Windex, I think you're the real Moses McBraveheart.

Follow the rules they give you, or you're banned. You aren't the boss, you have no day in the rules. Deal with it. Jackass.

At 9:27 PM, Blogger Riem said...

For those of you who dont appear to understand, Dave wasnt kidding (and im pretty sure he was being sarcastic when he mentioned him as "friend") when he said innocents were banned, JCblue banned multiple innocent accounts, and other non innocent accounts for crimes against the ToS they werent commiting. There was even a PS2 player banned for speedhacking, so no, you PS2 players werent safe from him either. I had to sign up just to say how happy i am to see this abuse of power gone, and not have to worry about being accused of flee hacking when i use flee.

Also, all those arguing about windower, why are you arguing about windower? I dont care if anyone uses it since it doesnt affect anything unless your using certain plugins. If you just keep your mouths closed no one will know your using it, and no one will make it thier duty in life to complain about ppl like you ruining the game for them.

At 3:15 AM, Blogger Boobeedoo said...

Hmm "Dave"... this isn't even funny hahaha. Where did your personality go?

At 3:36 AM, Blogger Stocky said...

To all flamers: Go back to KI

At 9:37 AM, Blogger Butcherboy said...

Here's the problem with the Windower:

It gives the person using the Windower an unfair advantage over everyone who ISN'T playing on a PC. That would be, right there, the classic definition of 'cheating.'

If I want to look up a quest while I play, I have to take my eyes off the screen. Many bad things can and do happen while I am quickly checking my laptop, including me getting yelled at by my leader for not paying attention. Why? Because the leader has the Windower and doesn't have to look away to check a map or the monster's stats.

That's unfair. It's also annoying, as it means that people who don't have my skills can still make a good show of it because they can cheat their way to having all that information at their fingertips.

At 11:54 AM, Blogger Riem said...

With windower you still end up having to look away from FFXI if your going to look something up. But my post wasnt saying windower is ok, if you get caught with it yes your guilty, if you play the game you may have to pay the price etc. etc.

I was just mentioning, how an argument over it got started. Even if you are using windower, no one else could tell, so if everyone who used it just kept quiet about thier slight if any advantage over certain other players, no one would know and no one would care. Its like .dat mods or the semi-gui mod thats shown in the picture that dave posted about JCblue. No one complains about those, because no one talks about those. And truth be told, theres alot worse things on FFXI that could be complained about.

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

Butcherboy... you're joking, right? Do you seriously feel that the ability to look up information without needing to turn your head is somehow game-breaking? If you get yelled at for not paying attention during a fight, here's a tip for you. Don't. Look. Away.

There's absolutely no information you need that you can't look up beforehand or find out afterwards. If you are looking at something other than FFXI when you are doing something that demands all of your attention, be it a laptop, a TV, or a differnet portion of your computer screen (or how about those total cheaters who have dual monitors?), then you deserve to be yelled at. FFXI gameplay is not so frenzied that you can't look up information during downtime instead of in the middle of something important.

And what about these people using this new Memory hack? Seriously, they can access information without even needing to do so much as shift the focus of their retinas! Now that's blatant cheating.

I've also got a magic phrase I'll teach you, free of charge, for those moments when you need to shift your attention elsewhere to look up info. Ready? "AFK a sec"

Incredulously Yours,

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

In other news, they should really add the option to edit your posts. Having to delete and repost makes Rath a sad Taru.

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Riem said...

I just dont get how ppl can get so worked up over something like this. There is one thing ill agree with rath on 100% though, not being able to edit these does suck. Especially on my computer where the message box goes screwy and misses letters when theyre not really missing.

At 6:51 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

Oh believe me, this is not me worked up.

At 12:54 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

"Windower being against the TOS is "illegal," but not necessarily "wrong." You can argue this all you want, it won't make you right."

Roughly translated: I am a tard and don't understand why it's against tos so don't bother trying to explain, I am too dumb to understand short sentences let alone a full explanation. Therefore because I am ignorant I am exempt from the rules, my cloak of ignorance +10 will protect me! (It cost 10 mil in the AH but thats ok cos I bought some gil and got it)

"The vast (read: vast) majority of high level players in FFXI that are on PCs use windowers along w/ PartyTP plugins, that's just the way it is. "

Roughly translated: I am incapable of playing without help from outside sources and so are my friends. Please ban my entire linkshell.

"If everyone using a windower were banned overnight, you'd find it interesting trying to build parties with half a linkshell to work with."

Roughly translated: I am a tard and only know other tards and have lost all ability to recognise true players anymore, therefore they do not exist.


You are too stupid to play FFXI. Delete your account. Sell the game on eBay.

In {GM}Daves words. You are a retard.

At 6:35 AM, Blogger Reasons said...

Well althought I agree that using all the plug ins for Windower is unfair and in my opinion cheating on many levels, I am guilty of using windower but hear me out. I disable all the plug ins and only use it to solve a serious problem I had with full game mode: random disconnections every 10-15 mintues.

I had contacted SE over it and had dobe everything they had suggested, from disabling my firewall / sound cards to changing internet company and nothing was working, my friend told me that they got windower and they never dc'd anymore and I tried it and I haven't dc'd randomly in over 6-7 months. My game time is more enjoyable now and although I know "Windower" is not supported by the ToS while using the plug-ins, I use it without any plug ins to allow me to play without disconnecting.

Windower alone isn't a cheat, it's the plugins players add to it that makes it a cheating tool. I don;t even have the TP thing, I completely disabled everything and play at the same level as the other "non-using windower players". I'm no cheater but I do use windower to prevent the unpleasant business of dc'ing every 10-15 minutes =/

At 3:26 PM, Blogger amiantos said...

GM's can be such tards too, my friends friends got banned for awhile cause he said he was botting to a total newb 8 mnk no sj who was camping him too. and when the GM warped him he said he was joking and the noob just went on saying he was using speed hacks the gm believed him and guess what? he was using thf at 51 26 lvls past when you get flee and he was running the normal flee speed. the newb kept saying he was using 3rd party programs too.

At 11:03 PM, Blogger The Answer said...

mmmm... well, i don't contact GMs often, mostly because I don't think that social issues are neccesarily things that GMs need to be contacted about. let me just put that out there right now.

if there's one thing i'd like to say, its that if you do actually read the legal articles available on the playonline website, it reads that any third party programs that assist in helping you in ways that disadvantage others is a clear violation. That can apply very much to windower, from what i've seen of the program (i'm ps2, mind you). however, other 3rd party programs, such as "fraps," or whatever it is, the thing that records video and stuff, can't possibly violate the ToS, as it offers no advantage besides recording footage. If anything, that could potentially be violating copyright should the video be openly distributed and whatnot for showing in-game footage that may cause loss of content secrecy in the name of marketing. However, that is a situation that lies much later in the series of such events, but as the programs sits by itself, it can't possibly be something that infringes on gameplay mechanics, therefore not infringing on the ToS. To say that something like that infringes would be like saying having something like mIRC or Firefox running while playing (since they're 3rd party programs) infringes on the ToS, and that's obviously not true.

As for the GM jcblue, never knew ya, don't really care either. If he really did do stuff like dave here, more power to SE.

At 1:46 PM, Blogger THE REAL THING said...


Guess what????? I wasn't fired. Neither were alot other GMs. We didn't want to relocate from a great place of living to a shitty one. So we found better jobs not hearing whining and bitching little kids. Yes thats right. There are other jobs out there where we don't have to hear about people whining about japanese or chinese or what ever else you want to whine about. I had fun banning you all that I banned. And yes you all did deserve it. So peace out. oh and GM dave is a fake. He ain't a real GM.. He is just making shit up..

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Blue said...

Ok...I love reading this blog because it reminds me of my favorite job. FFXI GM :)

Sadly, I had to leave last November, but thanks to this blog, every day I get a little dose of the lovely antics I used to put up with daily.

Now, I don't like commenting on the stuffs Mr. GM Dave has to say, mostly because he takes certian creative liberties and I'd hate to spoil the humor, but I will comment here so you all get an important idea through your heads.

GMs are never fired because you want them to be. Ever. Period. Jcblue was not fired for banning people he shouldn't have. Trust me when I say that cannot happen given the nature of steps necessary to actually ban a player.

When a GM gets a reputation that is unsuitable, they don't get fired. They get a new GM Name.

OMG...stop the presses.

SGM Jhanaka? SGM Cademon? Still there, promoted even :P

Am I gonna tell you who they are? HELL NO!

Learn to deal. If you got banned, you deserved to be banned. Whining about it only makes the GMs laugh at you as they /kick your ass.

At 9:35 PM, Blogger Lindsey said...

Ps2: $199.99
Laptop: $1,399.99
Ps2 purpose: Playing games
Computer purpose: Too many to list.

Playing on PS2 you're getting your money's worth. Playing on PC and losing the ability to make full use of what you paid for... Computer > FFXI so Windower:O


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