Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The 2006 Stupids Continued!

Welcome back.

Today's award goes out to a personal favorite of mine. His irrepressable spirit and naturally low intelligence make him a joy (read: torment) to deal with.

No matter how hard you try, this person just cannot get it. A trained monkey could learn faster than this guy.

Have you guessed the winner, yet?

That's right.

Today's award goes out to the...

"I have no clue about anything whatsoever" guy.

*applause*

This plucky fellow has dove head first into a complex game filled with menu systems, multiple maps, and social interactions, but has not taken the time to learn the simplest of skills.

Even when given proper guidance, this player is unable to grasp even the most basic of game principles.

The fact that they could log in at all is astounding.

Manuals means nothing to this person. I'm fairly certain they chew on the corner, checking for nutritional content, and then throw the manual away without even glancing inside.

I mean glancing inside might take away from the wonder of this majestic new world.

It might also make you slightly less retarded.

Can't have that, now can we?

Apparently, the only menu that is easy enough for them to navigate on their own is the GM call menu.

I can only assume this because of the sheer number of GM calls we receive that indicate a player has no idea how the game even works.

I'm pretty sure half of them thought they were installing Firefox.

After finishing up last night's award, I had to take a short shift to cover for another GM.

Stupid, lazy, "I need dialysis" jerk. I mean, I had plans to level up goldsmithing, you conceited idiot.

Some people think only of themselves.

And their kidneys.

Anyway, I had resolved to just ignore all GM calls and level up crafting afterall, when a call I just couldn't let go popped up.

GM Call Description: What is a moghouse?

Now, before I actually talked to the player, I started to wonder how stupid he could possibly be.


a) he doesn't know what a moghouse is

He must not have read the manual.

Or a forum.

Or looked at his map.

Or asked anyone.


b) he somehow decided that this was an emergency

After reading the menu screen warning against making unnecessary GM calls, he still decided that not knowing what a moghouse is classifies as an emergency.

I suppose when the smoke detector goes off in his house, he just curls up into the fetal position and cries.


Because I consider myself an afficianado of morons, I decided I just had to talk to this person.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you're looking for a moghouse.

Silence.

[GM]Dave>> Do you need help or not?

Silence.

[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> To talk you type /t then a name and then your message.

Silence.

[GM]Dave>> Not your name. My name.

Tick tock tick tock.

Player>> Hello?
[GM]Dave>> Congratulations.
Player>> For what?
[GM]Dave>> You mastered the tell.
[GM]Dave>> You're practically 75 already.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> Cool then.
[GM]Dave>> Those commands are really tricky.
Player>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Someone should write a book about them.
[GM]Dave>> And then we could include it with the game.
[GM]Dave>> I should write that idea down somewhere.
Player>> Uh...
Player>> How do you get a moghouse?

Internal struggle.

Should I be nice and just tell him to read the manual or should I punish him for his crimes against intelligence.

Not so much a struggle, to be honest.

[GM]Dave>> Woah! Slow down there.
[GM]Dave>> You can't just get a moghouse right away.
Player>> You can't?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, HELL NO!
[GM]Dave>> That's like high level stuff.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> I thought you could get one when you started.
[GM]Dave>> I don't know where you heard that.
[GM]Dave>> Next thing, you'll want to use the AH.
Player>> What's an AH?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, that's a monster.
[GM]Dave>> If you see a monster named 'Auction House'
[GM]Dave>> You should totally run away.
Player>> Ok. Got it.
[GM]Dave>> I figured you would.
[GM]Dave>> You seem smart.
Player>> So where do I put my extra stuff when I get it?
[GM]Dave>> Well, you click on the item.
[GM]Dave>> And then select "drop" from the menu.
Player>> I drop my stuff?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. Just remember where you dropped it.
[GM]Dave>> You can come back and pick it up later.
Player>> That makes sense.
[GM]Dave>> It does, doesn't it?
Player>> Good thing.
Player>> My inventory is full of crystals.
[GM]Dave>> Make sure you write down where you drop stuff.
[GM]Dave>> I'd hate for you to lose it.
Player>> Thanks for the tip.
[GM]Dave>> I'm here to help.

Now, this is where I got really mean.

[GM]Dave>> Tell you what. You've been so nice...
[GM]Dave>> I have a gift for you.
Player>> Really?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.

[GM]Dave would like to trade with you.
Trade completed.

Player>> What's a Haubergeon?
[GM]Dave>> It's a really amazing piece of high level armor.
[GM]Dave>> It's worth millions.
Player>> SERIOUSLY?!
Player>> Thanks.
[GM]Dave>> No problem.
[GM]Dave>> You won't be able to wear it for a long time.
Player>> I know, but I'll keep it until I can wear it.
[GM]Dave>> Won't it take up inventory space?
Player>> No.
Player>> I'll just drop it and pick it up later.

Can I really let him throw away a Haubergeon?

[GM]Dave>> Remember to write down where you drop it.

So, yes apparently.

Player>> I just dropped it and wrote down the location.
Player>> Thanks again.
[GM]Dave>> Anything for a player like you.

Now, if we were to fast forward a little while when he finally figures out what he just did, I'm pretty sure he's going to have a heart attack.

And when he places a GM call for help...

He gets fed to a dragon.

Isn't helping new players fun?

63 Comments:

At 8:36 AM, Blogger Slaneyder said...

player>> How do I sort my AH menu?
>>player: Click an item like you're buying it.
Player>> Then /sort?
>>player: No. It's a button.
player>> Ok.
player>> I can't find the button on my keyboard.
>>player: It's in the MENU.
player>> I told you, it's not on my keyboard!

It's a shame there's no /killself command.

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Master Dingo said...

I'm guessing that a Haubergeon is like an epic in WoW. If so, that's pretty damn funny. If he can remember to type /t [target] to ask another player where he dropped the item the ensuing conversation might be pretty damn funny to record. :)

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Master Dingo said...

I just reread my post, and realised that I said, "pretty damn funny" twice, which isn't, so replace the term with a term of your own.

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger -liam- said...

[GM]Dave>> Someone should write a book about them.
[GM]Dave>> And then we could include it with the game.
[GM]Dave>> I should write that idea down somewhere.


I collapsed about there. Pure genious, I can't see how the player could miss that sarcasm.. :D

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Rixy said...

Priceless!

A question for you: while it is obvious to torment the invalids who can operate a keyboard with glee, I'd like to know what serious problems you DO like to deal with.

Granted, they won't be as fun to read but it would be a curisousity. :)

Keep up the good work!

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger weary samurai said...

too much funny shit to quote.

i gotta say though, its a whole new brand of funny when they actually have no idea what sad fate has become them.

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger Kaziel said...

master dingo:

To answer your question, the Haubergeon is honestly, better than an Epic. It's equippable around level 60 and can and will last you through endgame. Basically the best way to equate it would be a piece of armor that equippable at 45, and lasts you probably until your guild is raiding and doing at least BWL, and probably AQ. It's that good.

And yeah, great post [GM]Dave

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG!!!!!!! You had him throw away a Hauby!!!!!!!!

[faints]


Seriously, that was priceless!!!!
I can't wait for this kid to realize what he did, and then place another GM call. Wow [GM]Dave - you have outdone yourself! Bravo!!!!

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger Fadeproof M. Dazzle Sagan Kicks said...

Shit man. I'm a WoW player and we have to deal with that sort of thing all the time on the general chat channel. I'm glad somebody out there can wage an effective war against internet rpg stupidity. Fed to a dragon = genius. This site is definitely going on my links area.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger lesa said...

omg he threw away a hauby /shock

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Sphene the Paladin said...

*kneels befor [GM]Dave*
*signs her name in the book of the faithfull*

"I am yours to command my master"

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger Player1 said...

I don't know what you guys are talking about. I know for a fact you can drop stuff and pick it up later cause a GM once told.......

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

You hate n00bs just as much as I do!!!

You just show your hate for them in strange ways.

Wanna' go n00b aggroing, some time?

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Keilyn said...

First off i'm so happy! lol <3[GM]Dave

Secondly, When a person in game asks a question of a player that's okay. In WoW, they are usually told to look it up on allak or another site. In FF11, there's a wonderful guide provided.

It's the sheer ignorance of wanting to talk to a GM. They haven't looked it up or talked to another player in an mmo while they can type on the keyboard. That is punishable.

*bows to Dave*

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger Wickerbasket said...

What level can I take on the Auction House? I've been having a staring contest with it for sometime... and I know it'll make it's move soon.

Someone, please, help me before it's too late on the Remora server.

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger Avihai said...

He figured out signet but not mog house WTF?

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Witchy said...

OMG thats SO BAD DAVE!!!!

I'm just dying inside thinking OMG a Hauby!!!!

lol I got a laugh out of it, my husband was really upset.. lol He remembers when he was new.. but ya.. we asked and we read books etc..

Btw do you know when they are making an updated bible for the expansion?

Thanks

Witchy

Gilgamesh server

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Kage said...

A friend of mine introduced me to your blog, and after reading that, I have to say, even for a GM, I'm impressed. I have a habit of being cruel to idiots myself, I don't tolerate them well. Actually, that's kind of a lie. I don't like them. At all. I usually kill them any excuse I get, no matter what game.

However, I think it's more fun to a user and be a jerk. Sure, you don't have your uber cool GM powers, but there's just that feeling of accopmlishment when you send someone crying home to mommy.

Keep on ass kicking.

~Kage

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger Glitterngld said...

Im ummm..............
not impressed >.>

 
At 6:04 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

To make something clear:

I have no problem with newbs. It's n00bs I hate.

A newb is a new player willing to try and learn.

A n00b is any player who refuses to learn anything.

 
At 6:18 PM, Blogger -MrBlogger- said...

You pretentious prick! Instead of demeaning him in order to inflate your own ego, why not kindly explain to him where he can find these answers for himself. The so-called advice you offered him will no-doubt affect his enjoyment of the game. I ask, would you lie to a tourist asking directions on the street? Its exactly the same principle.

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Pyroelf said...

"I ask, would you lie to a tourist asking directions on the street?"

Do these tourists dial 911 before asking said directions?

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

"I have no problem with newbs. It's n00bs I hate."

Are you saying if you had the chance, you wouldn't feed a newb to Jormy, too?

 
At 7:13 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Actually, a better analogy would be a tourist calling 911 for directions while holding a map and having immediate access to countless online map resources.

GM calls are for emergencies only. They are not something you do when you are too:

a) lazy
b) stupid
c) a) & b)

to just do your own research.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger -MrBlogger- said...

I'll elaborate. The point Iis when protected by perceived sense of anonymity [GM]Dave found it was quite acceptable to lie to someone asking for help. The advice he offered would have adversely affected their game-play experience.

Would [GM]Dave also lie to someone face-to-face when they ask directions on the street, and give them false directions? I suspect not - It wouldn't serve his own over inflated ego, based on his indepth knowledge of an online game compared to an obviously new player.

If a tourist did call 911, I would expect the reply would be that the number is reserved for emergency calls. I would not expect an operator to lie or mock the caller.

 
At 7:24 PM, Blogger Nazzy said...

*pst* wickerbasket, I'm on remora :P not as this nick though, but the person on Remora who is called "Nazzy" is really nice lol

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

He did get that response. A big menu popped up and said "this is for emergencies" and he placed the call anyway.

And, yes, if a tourist in my analogy asked me for directions with all of those resources, I would lie to his face.

"3 miles down, take a left. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you went too far.

Can't miss it."

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger -MrBlogger- said...

I didn't think it was possible, but my opinion of you dropped even further.

So it's not the anonymity that has you griefing people? No doubt you find these, as you labelled "nOObs", in all facets of your life. News flash! maybe its you.

You may have an in-depth knowledge of the game, but you certainly don't have the character to be a GM.

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger HTL2001 said...

allow me to beat this analogy further.

suppose he was an EMS person attending a *real* emergency, and there were plenty of other 'normal' people the tourist could ask, also, map stands everywhere, and at every entrance to the town, they hand out maps to tourists.

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger The Grand Master said...

You Fail to grasp the point entirely, mrblogger.

The point is, GM's are for genuine emergencies. MEntors exist in the game, to help newcomers to the game learn things. There are many wonderful websites that exist to help people learn thinga about the game. Heck, the darn thin even comes with a thick detailed instruction guide.

Its like having a GPS Tell you where you are, and give you step by step directions on where you wanted to go and how to get there.

The Player had no excuse, and niether does the foreign tourist.

There exist many places in RL,that are willing to show tourists around. Heck, we have Global Positioning Systems (GPS) that provide Dynamic Maps of where we are, and even draw a line on the Map to our destination.

GM's are busy people who should be left alone to do their jobs, and help people in genuine Emergencies. In RL, Emergency services are there for Life Threatening emergencies, not lost Tourists who are too stupid to pick up a Map. I do not pity either Party, and I do not pity any other NOOB, who refuses to crack open a book, and Learn how to do things like the rest of us.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Jirizo Reborn said...

Well at least in oblivion you can drop your stuff and pick it up again...

heh-heh, to think... Someone saw him drop a hauby and must've gone crazy in confusion..

Player drops a Haubergeon.
Warrior>> OMFG YOU FUKING NOOB WTF! I HATE YOU!
Dark Knight>> I will slit my wrist and condem my soul for your actions...


He must be getting spamed with tells.. I cant see anyone giving him any help after a stunt like that..

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger Akana-san said...

[GM]Dave, I couldn't care less if you're a real GM or not but your post is really hillarious and I enjoy reading them.

I would like to say to -mrblogger- that GMs don't exist to hand hold new players. They are there for game emergencies such as when your character got stuck, or something bad has happened to you because of programming flaws (items suddenly disappearing etc etc.)

Granted their job is theoritically a fun one, but because a lot of different variety of people can choose to pick up and play the game (i.e. slow, ignorant people) the GM job has become a nightmare.

Sure if someone made an unnecessary GM call, someone like [GM]Dave can always choose to ignore it and move on to the next (real) problem. But that wouldn't be fun for us who enjoy reading this blog, would it? ^_^

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger -MrBlogger- said...

No The Grand Master, you have missed my point. I concede that GM's are busy, and are only reserved for emergencies. I also concede that given numerous visual queue's this player still elected to page a GM.

Nevertheless, this player still did seek help. The player had no excuse? Perhaps he did have an excuse, but that is not the point.

The point is how [GM]Dave responded. At no time did [GM]Dave point out that GM's are busy and only reserved for emergencies.

He could have simply replied that GM's are not available to answer these type of queries. Instead seek answers from your in-game Mentor, forums, manuals, etc.

Instead [GM]Dave elected to elaborately demean and mock this player. Further, he even gave advice that would inhibit the players ability to enjoy the game. All this took alot more time than educating this customer where they can find answers.

A GM is a representative of the company. At times, they may even be the only human-contact a player will have with this company. As such, this type of behaviour is inexcusable. Simply put, [GM]Dave should not be a GM.

 
At 9:10 PM, Blogger Inia said...

Wow, yet another person who totally fails at having a sense of humor.

If you are not amused by mocking the stupid, this is not the blog for you.

I'd have no sympathy for this idiot. Even with management breathing down my neck, I'd have told this person to read the manual, suggested several online sites, and reminded him calling a GM was for ToS violations or getting their character stuck.

GMs ARE NOT THERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. Not intelligent ones, and certainly not idiotic ones. I realize this requires reading, but it actually does say something to that effect when you go to the Help Desk menu.

 
At 10:30 PM, Blogger Fufet of Lakshmi said...

Dave; I love your Blog, it's most excellent! I'll put my faith in, and say that you're actually a GM, in hopes that this terrible, terrible sense of justice is being Issued. A couple of questions, though...

Perhaps you could explain why GM's cannot watch a situation until it happens, and after it happens they cannot take action because they weren't there? (Ex; Pre-Patch RMT's gather to Train. a GM Call is placed, and the GM explains they cannot help unless an action is happening. RMT Train onto the party, party is killed. Afterwards, more GM calls are placed, and the GM explains that they cannot take action because they were not there.)

Also, I know this is far off, but for Halloween this year, just to prove you exist to everyone else, you should Masquerade as Jormungand.

Also, if you have any relation to Jcblue, tell him i'm Dissapointed. ;-)

 
At 10:38 PM, Blogger Ronin said...

First it will be ok inia just think this ...mrblogger is proving our entire point.

Second [GM]Dave your are not a god ...you are THE god so keep it up you thin out the stupid $#!+$ making the game easier for everyone else, I'm sure in your mind that would just be an adverse side effect of your job but we thank you none the less. Honestly if I ran into this person I would have one of those "why the hell am I playing this" moments. /suicide
where "player" went wrong
1. he didn't look at the book that he got free with the game, the same type who will go out and buy the first FFXI guide he could find.

2. he goes past people who he could ask without having to wait for GM to get around to his call

3. (after figuring out the menu) he goes PAST his map button and follows all the steps to get to a GM ...i believe it is many to stump the stupid people

4. he stares at the Emergencies disclaimer and still hits [OK]

5. he still has time to ask while he waits for GM to answer where he could say "sorry i figured it out, thank you for answering my call though" ... which of course would be written "sry got it thx"

 
At 12:01 AM, Blogger Kylin said...

[GM]Dave, I praise you for your work. You make these calls hillarious to see. You give us insight on how stupid people can get.

As for mrblogger, it's the own users fault for ruining his/her own game experience. He/she should try to LEARN what things are and how to work them. That's what makes the game exciting. If they cannot figure out what things are or how to use them, then there is the "Mentor" button. There are also alot of other people in the game that have played longer and actually took the time to figure out what things do and how to use them. He/she should not waste the GM's time on stupid things like these. They have other, more important, matters to deal with. But n00bs are n00bs, they won't learn fast enough to actually enjoy the game. Most likely they'll get peeved and throw their PC/PS2/XBox360 across the room and quit.

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Stocky said...

Let round 837204823704 of stupidity commence!

Oh and Mrblogger, I found this picture for you, I thought somehow it was appropriate.

http://116.photobucket.com/albums/b36/Advent_Nebula/fail.gif

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

For those who were wondering (maybe you placed a GM call asking?) the comments prove it:

Tards link.

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger Nu-Hir said...

MrBlogger, you're missing the entire point of this blog. Hell, the title of this is Bannable Offenses.

For every single thing he's posted about, he could have banned each and every player. But instead of take the game away from these poor, unfortunate souls, he has given them another option. He has given them the chance to continue playing, but for a price.

In this particular case, he could have just banned the player for violating the ToS/EULA. He is not paid to dictiate the user manual in verbatim to every idiot who doesn't bother to read it. Granted, he isn't paid to torment users, but hey, some of these people need it.

Now Dave had to make a choice. Take the game from this person, or allow them to keep playing, but teach them a valuable lesson to go with it. Dave is a compassionate man. He allowed the user to continue to play the game.

If you don't like what he's doing, don't read the blog. After man years of customer service and putting up to similar crap that Dave has, I congratulate him for finding a way to make his job enjoyable for himself. Eventually these people will be making the game not enjoyable for us, so he's doing everyone else a favor.

 
At 1:27 AM, Blogger weary samurai said...

i got an idea: mrblogger, you win.

now get the fuck outta here before you make yourself look like even more of an idiot. no one is on your side here and you will not win.

i told you what you want to hear. there, i gave you some helpful advice.

hmm, i should be a gm too. dave, where is that gm app?

 
At 1:33 AM, Blogger kitty monk said...

"He could have simply replied that GM's are not available to answer these type of queries."

But then it wouldn't be funny, now would it?

 
At 2:20 AM, Blogger Itatchi_Bahamut said...

Gimme Fuel! Gimme Fire! Give me that which I desire! OOOO!

 
At 2:25 AM, Blogger Itatchi_Bahamut said...

I have nothing intelligent to say really, nor any witty comments, I just wanted to leave my mark.


/wave

 
At 3:26 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

Ok Fiercefairy's 2 cents...People learn buy experince,meaning you get your ass out there and DO whatever it takes to learn or get the job accomplished! Sure I had help *growing up* in the game! But I used the resorces I had available to me and IMO am a better player because of it.
Playes that sit around waiting for everyone to *hand* them things and whine because they do not know something are foolish.
Ask questions of fellow players,friends,go online look it up!This game is based on players working together,and too DAMN many times I get stuck in a party with a person that bought an account and couldnt pull off a MB if you put a gun to his head!So the TRULY experienced players are then working their asses off to make up for a poor players ineptness.
Why are they experienced? Because they worked and died for it...that is why!I love new players,I am a Mentor ,I answer questions and lead people to places they need.
What I can NOT stand is a level 75 that asks me *after we are at location mind you* ~ok Fierce...when should I Skill Chain*
If they do not know by then I start wondering just how damn many times i am going to die in this party >.>

 
At 3:37 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:47 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

-mrblogger-
I'm glad i'm first to say this.
.
Wait for it..
.
You fail at life!
.
OMG what a retard, is he self labotomised with a spoon? FFS
Send the tard to Smithty to get his cerebelum stabbed some more, cant do much harm, and we need to feed the Smithy's evil rage.

Long live [GM]Dave

 
At 4:35 AM, Blogger Mordos said...

I'd just like to say something to
-mrblogger-, if [GM]Dave's blogs bother you so much, then why spend the time of your day to come here and read them? So you can try to point out that he is a bad person, so others will join in on your opinion? The beauty of the blog is freedom of speech, he can write whatever he wants, we're all still going to read it...Obviously you do not think that it's funny so why read it? He's doing it for our entertainment...He did nothing to harm that player, the player will figure it out eventually if he decided to keep playing, which I assume he will not, because he doesnt have the intelligence for such a game.

 
At 5:42 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

So, I started out a GM.

Then, people thought I was a jerk.

Then, I became a hero.

And now, I'm a civil rights leader.

Tomorrow, KING!

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

Idiocy can be found in all facets of life. The game world just so happens to be the only place that you can actually do anything about it.

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Kage said...

One step at a time, Dave. Communist party leader first. THEN king.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Kouk said...

MrBlogger, please send in a GM call asking stupid questions and let us know how it turns out ;)

Anyone else willing to bet that MrBlogger is one of those people who doesnt read the game manual and got offended?

Keep up the good work [GM]Dave! Reading these peoples posts that get mad at you make this Blog that much better! Im still curious to see if that asshat can get you fired since he has all his "proof" that hes mailing in.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

To hell with that, just jump straight to friggin' Grand Emperor.

Oh, and -mr-blogger-, I *constantly* run into n00bs in my day-to-day life: on the highway, in the supermarket, at the gas station. It's a shame there isn't a way to introduce chlorine into the gene pool, or that breeding doesn't require a license. If I have to stand behind another morbidly obese woman buying eight tons of cream-puffs and Cheesy-Poofs for her twelve squalling brats in the friggin' EXPRESS CHECKOUT LANE...

Yes, unfortunately, n00bs are very, very real. Newbs are as well, but newbs can at least read signposts. It isn't just [GM]Dave, I could bet safely that everyone who reads this and laughs has *met* a n00b and been so completely frustrated and fed up with their complete lack of - well... brains, to be quite honest - that they have silently wished to kill, maim, hurt, destroy, harm, butcher, dismember, disembowel, decapitate or defenestrate the individual.

Goodness knows I've wanted to do that to idiots on the road before.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Reeree said...

Silently wished?

oh HELL NO. Here's a scene from grocery shopping:

LifeTard>> Hey, you've got a lot of stuff, mind if I go ahead of you? I've only got these 15 things.
Reeree>> Get cancer and die.
LifeTard>> Thx.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

WOW i just read all this blog, and GM Dave you are truly are a savior saving us from pure idiots that make this game so damn intolerable... I won't to know how to become a GM, and help you in your purging of retards... Now i am truly terrified of calling a GM... and if one ever talks to me i will freak out... So i want to become a GM to not be afraid, and i need $$$ that i can make while getting plastered

be the way i definetely won't say my character name cuz i could picture this

GM Dave>> Hail Adventure, I bid thee goodday (or some shit)
ME>> hey
GM Dave>> so u think u know fear, watch this...

Warped to mordion surrounded by tiamat, jormungand, vrtra (what kind of name is that, can u even pronounce it?), and u setting them so they can do 5 points of damage a hit for a slow painful death...

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Scolas said...

Hurray King [GM]Dave!
I personally think this -MrBlogger- is just jealous that you thought of being this awesome first. Anywho, Love the blogs and will continue coming back everyday!

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger Scolas said...

Kevin... say it like "vertra" sounds pronouncible to me =/

 
At 5:47 AM, Blogger Inia said...

gm-dave:

You fail at life, humor and, most importantly, originality.

As Reeree so eloquently put it, "get cancer and die." kthxbai

Long live Emperor [GM]Dave!

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger BobTehBuilder said...

/em buys nwe copy of the game for $40.00
/em loggs in using worldpass from olc char.
/em places GM call: ey, where do i get a Mog House!!`1~11!!?/
/em sits back and waits for his sparliking new $40.00 Habby ;)

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger higashi said...

hahaha he threw away a Hauby! -points and laughs at the random idiot- XD

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Fallenkinght said...

Beautiful... just beautiful man... a work of art. Youre the best.

-FallenkINght-

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Aniero said...

very very funny!

 
At 1:53 AM, Blogger virocana said...

Signature

 

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