Thursday, April 06, 2006

[GM]Dave the Punisher

Last night, I received a very important GM call. A call about the most heinous of crimes in Final Fantasy XI.

GM Call Description: Will you come and solve the RMT problem in Castle Oztroja for me?

I mean, this had me jazzed. Help me, Davi Wan, you're my only hope.

But I was sort of busy last night (watching our complaint manager "handle" another fish botter), so I decided to put the call off until today.

I mean they'll still be there. And the day after.

And the day after.

Sigh.

So, I head on over to Castle O. Things look pretty normal. A few campers hanging out. Their heads are moving a little faster than one might call normal, but I let that slide.

For now.

Checking the timer, I see Mee Deggi is about to pop. A quick check shows three campers in the immediate vicinity (two of which have a record).

Then Deggi pops and instead of three campers, there's eight of them. All magically managed to locate the exact point Deggi was going to appear and instantly warp to that point.

We must have added another spell since I played.

Rather than simply watch, though, I decide to treat our incredibly efficient, and apparently psychic, players to a new event. An event called:

THE PUNISHING

A few simple key strokes and Mr. Deggi has nearly doubled in level. And... oh what's this? Apparently (I have no idea how this happened), I am now controlling his actions.

Game on, bitches.

I hit the first guy, a Thief, so hard he DCs. Hopefully, he will rethink his playing practices over the smouldering remains of his modem.

Next, I take on the Monk. He stood strong through two hits, and then he started to run.

I AM BECOME DEATH!

Oh, shut up. Let a guy be melodramatic. This is an RPG afterall.

The next two hits catch him in the kidneys and he goes down. I move on to his buddy, the White Mage.

It wasn't even close. He had time to say Cu- before I punched my feathered hand into his chest.

The rest all try to run, but I am a fan of irony.

I warp them all right back to Mee Deggi. The Punisher.

They don't last long.

Now, I'm sure they'll be back tomorrow. But tomorrow, they're going to shake just a little as they load up that warp program.

There are days I love this job.

5 Comments:

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Arwenne said...

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. Please don't ever stop. ^^

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger Nukapai said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the laughs! Excellent. Keep up the fun (a fellow FFXI player just pointed me to you; I will be back!).

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger Lae said...

[GM]Dave writes, "A few simple key strokes and Mr. Deggi has nearly doubled in level. And... oh what's this? Apparently (I have no idea how this happened), I am now controlling his actions.
Game on, bitches."

HAHAHA, this is my favortie post from you. [GM]Dave the PUNISHER.... HAHA

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Plague said...

That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard and I say keep up the fun! My only regret is my company only has campaign and multiplayer, but if we ever make an RPG... I swear to god I will name that move after you! I only wish you were on my server so I could have seen that!

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger TheUndivine said...

You are my hero.

 

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