Where were we?Oh, yeah... Private servers and Wow and shit.
Let's start with the whole private server thing. Pretty much since I started the blog, people have been sending me e-mails about the dreaded private servers.
Well, that and asking for nude pics of Susan.
Also, spam for male enhancement and watches.
My inbox is a comedy cavalcade, people.
I never really put a lot of time into the whole private server thing. It's just one of those things that we all know about, but nobody really cares about.
The basic premise is that you get to play a game for free on a server run by a private individual. This system has certain pros:
a) it's free
b) it doesn't cost anything
c) what else do you need, you cheap bastard?
d) did I mention it's free?
e) oh, they might make the game easier or give you free armor or something
That's about it. Seems really great, right?
Not so much.
I mean, I was totally on board with the whole playing a game that costs money for free thing. I like free. I enjoy free. It really seemed like a great idea.
Unfortunately, private servers are an idea that seem great in theory.
Or women's rights.
Oh, I'm going to get some e-mails for that one. My inbox is going to be even funnier than usual.
See, private servers are run by an individual with no vested interest in providing you a service. They are doing it simply for the joy of helping others.
... You can imagine how well that might work.
Let me explain this to you. I would not want to live in a town with a volunteer fire department. I would not want to be trapped inside my house, flames engulfing everything I own, with a bunch of people outside who aren't getting paid.
Fireman1>> Okay, guys. We're going in!
Fireman2>> Umm... Really?
Fireman2>> We're going in there?
Fireman1>> Of course we are.
Fireman2>> Are you crazy?
Fireman2>> That place is on fire!
Fireman1>> People are trapped in there.
Fireman2>> Yeah... See, I thought we could stay out here.
Fireman2>> Kind of see how the situation unfolds.
Fireman1>> How it unfolds?!
Fireman1>> It's going to unfold with that family burning to death.
Fireman2>> True... True.
Fireman2>> That could happen.
Fireman2>> Or... OR it could go out on its own.
Fireman1>> It's not going to go out on its own!
Fireman1>> We need to help them!
Fireman2>> I've kind of got this Softball game tomorrow...
Fireman1>> What the hell is the matter with you?
Fireman3>> Hey, guys.
Fireman3>> What's going on?
Fireman1>> We have to get in there!
Fireman3>> Are you crazy?
Fireman3>> That place is on fire!
I'm sure they're nice guys. I'm sure they WANT to help. But when I'm minutes away from burning to death, I want to know that the people in charge of saving my ass are being well paid.
With a private server, those same people in charge of saving your ass have the very real option of not giving a shit.
As much as I talk about terrorizing the general populace of Vana'diel, I do occasionally help people. And the people all around me every day, freaking love helping players. They earn their paycheck.
If we weren't getting paid, I really don't think we'd all get together every day and just help people out of the goodness of our hearts.
Now, don't get me wrong. Most of the guys running private servers are cool. They're providing a great service to people who don't actually want to pay for the official service.
But this is a server they are running as a hobby. Running someone else's game as a hobby.
Shit is bound to go wrong.
Here's your average experience on a private server:
Okay, you're in the world.
Talk to an NPC.
Half of the NPCs don't work.
Umm... Start a quest.
Most of the quests are bugged.
Join a party/raid/whatever.
There are three tanks on the whole server and they're all busy.
Oh, we got a tank. Now, we just...
Shit, the healer had to go.
Only two of those on the server.
Alright. Got a healer.
Start your event/dungeon/instance/whatever.
Bosses aren't properly scripted.
Find a boss that isn't bugged and kill it.
Get great drop.
Oops, your item is gone.
Throw computer out window.
I'm not kidding. This happens multiple times a day on private servers.
This may or may not sound like fun to you. Then again, some people like having people beat the crap out of them.
Whatever floats your boat.
My personal boat enjoys a server where shit like that is INCREDIBLY rare. And, assuming something like that ever did happen, someone would go out of their way to help you.
Or you might get me. That would be less than optimal.
I get that private servers are free. Trust me when I tell you that I get that part. I am quite possibly the cheapest man on the planet.
If Susan needed a special medicine to survive, I'd probably ask if it came in a generic brand.
Oh c'mon. Love is priceless, but saving three dollars is a big deal.
I also get the whole 10x rate, high drop rate, armor vendor thing. They're making the game easier and, in turn, more fun.
More fun assuming you enjoy less challenge.
Will the WoW fans please stop nodding?
While I understand these things, I still don't get why someone would choose an amateur service over the official one. You are choosing a substandard product with substandard service just to save a little money.
This isn't medicine. This is a video game.
Where are your freaking priorities?