Monday, April 19, 2010


No, I am not spending all of my time playing the Beta for an awesome new video game.

No, this game is not the most awesome thing in the entire universe, so much so that I am seriously thinking about giving up sleep entirely just so I don't have to miss anything.

No, I have not given up playing other games or even showering or the most basic of body maintenance.

No, I do not have an epic Beta Beard.

I have no idea where you could have gotten these ideas you silly, silly people.

I've been... Busy.

Very, very busy.

With... Stuff.

If I hadn't been so busy playing, I'd probably have come up with a better story. As it is, I'm working from some jot notes scrawled on a used KFC napkin.

The notes read:



Yeah, I'm loving this game so much that I can't even form coherent thoughts.

Or lies.

That's how you know a game is good. Forgetting about your school or work or those other people who live in your house and call you Dad or Husband or Hey, I'm Talking To You or If You Don't Listen, I'm leaving You... That's just normal gaming.

No, if a game is so good that you can't even construct adequate lies, then you know it's good.

But I'm not allowed to talk about it. I can't even tell you the name of the Final Fantasy XIV I'm playing.

I'll give you a minute to crack that code, Robert Langdon.

Now, if I can only give up my body's pathetic needs for food and oxygen, I can devote my entire being to playing.

Kind of like Lawnmower Man, but not a terrible movie.

Can we get science on this already? What the hell are we paying you guys for anyway?

Oh, oh. You cloned a sheep. You made a sheep that looks like another sheep.


Let's get on this virtual reality shit already. We've been talking about this for a bajillion years now. I think it's time we made some progress on it already.

Man, why the hell do I have to do everything?


At 3:08 PM, Blogger Absolutezero said...

Its too bad you aren't playing FFXIV, cause I'd really love to hear about it some more!

At 10:12 PM, Blogger Usage May Vary said...

rock the un-playing, Dave.

At 1:06 AM, Blogger tyranastrasz said...

I think he's trying to tell us something.

But what could it be?

It's so subtle. I don't think I can figure it out.

At 4:36 AM, Blogger Salt said...

Cool. It's has gone into BETA then.

We can expect to see it soon I suppose.

At 4:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's still in alpha. There are regular threads about it on /v/ with screenshots etc.

FYI even telling someone you are in the alpha is breaking the NDA and SE will ban both your FFXIV and FFXI accounts (which is why the anons on /v/ black out all text in their screencaps)

At 6:16 PM, Blogger Hala said...

No, they don't ban your FFXI account. That would be terrible for their finances and their collective wallet.

And they probably won't even ban your FFXIV account, unless you do something stupid like stream a live video of you playing the alpha.

Lots of people have bragged about being in the alpha, and some people have even emailed SE with proof, but they haven't done anything about them.

At 12:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They banned that person who did a live stream and not just from FFXIV. They banned his entire SE account including his FFXI account with over 900 days playtime.

At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2:22 AM, Blogger Beniki said...

I think... I think I hate you a little today, GM Dave.

Damn this jealous rage.

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Salt said...

It's still in alpha.

Damn, looks like it going to take a while. ><

At 8:08 PM, Blogger Hala said...


No, he didn't. You can read about it here:

At 12:11 AM, Blogger Shade said...

Yeah, you shouldn't actually believe every rumor you hear... Hala is right, and anyway, FFXI and FFXIV are two totally different games. They can't ban you for something in FFXI you did in FFXIV.

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Dxoh said...

Someone hasn't been reading their user agreements. They CAN very well ban someone from both, with absolutely no legal repercussions. They probably wouldn't, but they can. You see, they are allowed to ban anyone, anytime, for any reason.

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

...KFC napkin?
Did you try the double down? Very delicious heartattack

At 5:24 AM, Blogger C said...

Not that i'm in the alpha either, but if you were you'd know that the servers have only been up for 4 hours at a time once or twice a week (if that). So if you're giving up showering for that... well that's kinda pathetic.

At 3:20 AM, Blogger Bell MO. said...

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