I Am A F&%@ING GeniusI have officially, OFFICIALLY, come up with the greatest idea in the history of the freaking world.
Seriously. There are people coming by later with a certificate and everything. It's this really nice white color. That's bone. And the lettering is something called Sicilian Rail.
Now, you're probably asking yourself what this amazing, spectacular, incredible idea is.
I don't care if you used that many adjectives. I like adjectives and I will use them as I please.
Are you ready for this?
I don't think you're ready for this.
I give you...
The [GM]Dave Center for MMORPG Addiction.
Huh? Huh? Isn't that the greatest f&%@ing idea you've ever heard?
Our center will be dedicated to helping people overcome MMORPG addiction and learning to game moderately and responsibly. People who are addicted to playing MMOs can commit themselves to a four week stay in which they will undergo intense treatment and testing to ensure they game in healthy ways.
Doesn't that sound awesome?
What do you mean "no"?
I'm going to assume you said "no" for theatrical purposes. If you did not say "no", please say it now so that we can continue.
What do you mean "no"? This is the greatest idea EVER.
See, the description I just gave is what you tell your spouse/parents/family/friends/dog/whatever.
In reality, you will spend four solid weeks playing the MMORPG of your choice with absolutely no distractions.
Just you and four straight weeks of as much gaming as you can stand without your eyes bleeding.
Or let them bleed.
Whatever. We'll pick up some Visine or something.
Your family/friends think you're off getting treatment for your "abnormal behavior", while you're actually playing your freaking ass off in a resort.
I mean center.
Hell, the other people at the center can help you play. Boom! Instant linkshell.
Four beautiful weeks of playing the game you love.
And then, and this is the best part, when your four weeks are over, we send you back with a very official looking report stating that you do not meet the clinical definition of addiction and that it is simply a controlled obsession.
Then, if they start up with that addiction shit again, you call the center and sign up for additional treatment.
So, to summarize:
-a full month of uninterrupted gaming
-getting to hang out and play with other serious gamers
-"official" proof that you aren't actually addicted and that everyone who said that is a moron
The only way I could make this idea any better is if we built the center next to a Cheerleader Nymphomania treatment facility.
I need to make some calls.