Monday, November 16, 2009



Just... Just wow.

I have sat down at this computer (or a random assemblage of parts made to resemble this computer) and written 600 blog posts.

Assuming you include this one.

If you don't, just read the next post and then come back. That'll be 600.

Either way, that's a lot of freaking mindless rambling.

I have no allusions about my writing. I entirely understand that I'm not writing epic plays that will stand the test of time and will be taught to future school children as examples of remarkable writing.

Probably not.

Still, the fact that some of you have even bothered to read 600 of my rants and ravings is a huge compliment.

Or a testament to having too much spare time.

I'm very glad though that I've managed to make a little part of your day better 600 times.

About 300 of them were probably funny.

Fine... 200.

You don't see me giving you shit about your job, do you?

See, if you think about it 1/3 isn't that bad a ratio. Being funny 1 out of every 3 posts is pretty damned good in the grander scheme of things.

Yes, if I was a doctor, those would be... Less than ideal statistics. I doubt many people would want to end up with a doctor that kills 2 out of 3 patients.

Me? I just write unfunny shit about video games.

Or movies.

Or that cashier at Taco Bell that can't freaking get your order right.

Seriously. You sell tacos and other tacos. What the F&%@?

See? It's witty observations like that that keeps you guys coming back for more.

... Seriously, it'll be funnier. I'm working on stealing some Eddie Murphy material right now. I'm not kidding, this shit is really funny.

It's Hilarious.

Kidding, kidding. I really don't think Eddie Murphy does a routine about video games and/or large dragons.

I am totally not Googling that right now.




At 7:44 PM, Blogger Army said...

And 600 times I have laughed.

Not, uh, exactly that that correlates to you, or anything, just thought I'd put it out there.

At 8:01 PM, Blogger Sean said...

To date, I think my favorite post was the King Arthro one.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger Lazuras said...

I think I've read about 200 out of the 600, so hopefully I hit all the funny ones.

At 8:15 PM, Blogger Dorian Mode said...

In baseball, getting a hit one third of the time is a batting average of .333, and is considered pretty darn good. Comedy's probably just as hard. Personally, I'd put your average up around .800.

Read all 600? Of course. Do we get extra credit for Smithy?

< Psst --- the word is illusion, with an i. >

At 8:19 PM, Blogger Ricardo said...

If you write about smitty and pathfinder again that 1/3 will go up to 2/3!

At 9:28 PM, Blogger Sparf said...

The Bastard Operator from Hell has written a metric fuckton of stuff too. And yet his funniness ratio is nowhere near yours because his new stuff is him trying too hard and following a formula. Your stuff gets mixed up enough to stay fresh. That's why I check your blog daily and I read BOFH on TheRegister once every six months or so.

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Beltayn said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 10:50 PM, Blogger Beltayn said...

I at the very least grin each post.

I'd say I laugh out loud at least every second post.

I want to forward every 3rd post roughly to friends, but end up not doing it.

About every 4th post comes up in a conversation with my wife or a friend, i.e. "[GM]Dave wrote this hilarious post about X the other day and it cracked me up. He said.. x'

I actually forward maybe every 5th or 6th post or so to friends, since mainly a lot of them just won't get it.

However.. most importantly, I read every damned post you put up here... and every time I tell myself I'm going to donate for a fan pack... and then I don't. Damnit! Next one. And I'm going to choose the damned topic.

At 12:04 AM, Blogger tyranastrasz said...

Happy 600th. ;-)

I just did a full re-read of the blog archives recently. No matter how many times I read them, your posts still make me laugh. And script run /fish is still a classic.

At 1:12 AM, Blogger Daniel said...

Does that count fan packs? Because those tend to have a higher ratio of funny. The ratio on the blog itself gets lowered by fan pack updates and whatnot. Which are occasionally entertaining, but not quite "laugh" worthy.

If I laughed at about 1/3 of your posts, I'd say that half of those generated and extra laugh. And about half of those generated a third laugh. And a bare fraction of the entire 600 posts had me laughing the entire way through.

I'm pretty sure 100%*33%*15%*075% = 100% laughs.

That math could be the result of American public schools.

At 8:36 AM, Blogger Lenwe said...

Ive laughed 600+ times as a result of rereading some of the the blogs a few times... thanks for the laughs.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

Eddie Murphey voiced a character that fell in love with a large purple dragon...does that count?

At 11:54 AM, Blogger Leut said...

600! That's like double the gayness of your standard Spartan strip club!

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Pirre said...

Congratulations, and thank you :)

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Chrysocollus said...

And still coming back for more. ;D

At 7:01 PM, Blogger EL DOGGO said...

Keep them coming man, you make my days at work far more entertaining.

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

Man, your stories are the best, and I shall keep reading them as long as you post them.

My personal favorite was the story where you made a Fleetool-user able to run... and never stop. Even when he was dead. The idea of a corpse speeding around a dungeon while face down in the dirt just made me giggle.

At 10:19 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

Odd story - last night I had a dream that was a lot like a GM Dave rant... not that I have issues or anything... no, certainly no issues here.

PS - If you want to do some coverage on how retarded people are in college administrations and/or how FAIL they are at their supposed jobs, I have tons of material I'd be happy to forward for research!

At 5:30 PM, Blogger Am said...

I still remember my the first GM Dave blog post I read about the guy who circumcised himself. With nail clippers I think it was? xD


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